3rdone Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I was dating this amazing girl and things started off very nicely. She immediately wanted a second date, third date, etc… She would text me good morning and vice versa. She actually told me when we started dating that a woman likes being pursued. I’m not use to that, not being cocky but I have never had to make a huge effort to go out with a girl. Anyway, our text begin to slow down but we were still hanging out pretty regulary. She went out of town recently and I offered to take her to the airport. Everything was great we kissed pretty extensively enough to know this is not a thank you kiss. Well I didn’t want to smother her while she was with her friends on her trip….kept the texting to a minimum. I offered to pick her up from the airport and she said I think I’m ok my girlfriend left her car at the airport I was just going to get her to take me home. Cool…reasonable t Don’t hear from her when she gets back. The next day she text me saying she’s back at work and I’m already tired. I texted her back saying I just thru with some meetings….then silence for two days. Neither one of us texted or called. Fast forward, we run into each other at a bar and I don’t want to seem needy so I don’t walk over to her. Within 10 minutes she walks across the bar/restaurant and ask me why I didn’t come say hi. The idiot guy syndrome kicks in and I act like I’m unphased that we haven’t talked. She asked me several times if I was “above it” and I said I haven’t heard from you in 2 days. She says all you had to do was pick up the phone and call. I sighed and she walked off. I knew I messed up IMMEDIATELY. The next day I ask if we could talk. She texted me back an hour later saying “sure”. I asked if she had a busy night (Friday night), she said no. I was on my way to a food truck my friend owns by then and told her I would like to come by as soon as I’m done around 9. She then says I’m not going to be home call me later. Then it evolved into tonight’s not good I’ll call you tomorrow…I was like what, you just said you didn’t have a busy night. The next day no call, so I hate wondering so I just ask, “did I mess things up with you?” She says…”we can definitely be friends. I just think we approach relationships different and that’s ok. That’s why you date.” BOOM I let it sink in before I respond at this point. I texted her the next night and tell her that I was just confused on her interest level, whether she wanted me to call and that my actions at the bar were uncalled for and I immediately regretted it and that I was miserable thinking I screwed things up and that I didn’t expect to change her mind thru a text but that I wanted to explain myself and say I’m sorry… Her response an hour later… “I know it takes a lot to be completely honest and vulnerable…no need to apologize. But thank you very much for the explanation very much and for being you. That means a lot. Where do I go from here? Over, pursue, forget it. I know I didn’t change her mind in 24 hours
Spiritofmetal Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) um i think you should let her be on her own for a few days until her anger or whatever feeling she is going through sinks in or fades away.. she will probably miss you.. and even might message you but if she doesn't you message her whenever you think the time is right and ask her if you guys could meet up.. and tell her how much you don't want to screw things up and you know you really messed up this time, maybe that's what she wants to hear. girls like to be acknowledged and appreciated, and the number of chances a girl will give you even after you screw up hundreds of times is unthinkable and never appreciated. PLEASE answer mine Edited September 3, 2013 by Spiritofmetal
StyleOnEm Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 You have a fine line to walk, my friend. I wouldn't take the "I dont want to screw things up with you" approach. That makes you sound extremely weak and subconsciously girls get turned off by that. It's ok to be vulnerable but it depends in what way you go about it. You're better off letting her know that since the relationship/dating her is still fresh, you're still figuring each other out and you're working on lowering some of your walls due to past relationships, and that you value her in your life, but at the same time you want to feel that you're being valued too. Make her qualify herself to you. How long have you guys been seeing each other? Maybe she's a busy girl, and doesn't want to seem clingy.
Author 3rdone Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 You have a fine line to walk, my friend. I wouldn't take the "I dont want to screw things up with you" approach. That makes you sound extremely weak and subconsciously girls get turned off by that. It's ok to be vulnerable but it depends in what way you go about it. You're better off letting her know that since the relationship/dating her is still fresh, you're still figuring each other out and you're working on lowering some of your walls due to past relationships, and that you value her in your life, but at the same time you want to feel that you're being valued too. Make her qualify herself to you. How long have you guys been seeing each other? Maybe she's a busy girl, and doesn't want to seem clingy. we've been dating for about a month. Many dates + visits, my place, her place etc.. Think I have any chance of salvaging this. I don't think I've ever been told "We can definitely be friends" Kinda hurts all things considered
Author 3rdone Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 um i think you should let her be on her own for a few days until her anger or whatever feeling she is going through sinks in or fades away.. she will probably miss you.. and even might message you but if she doesn't you message her whenever you think the time is right and ask her if you guys could meet up.. and tell her how much you don't want to screw things up and you know you really messed up this time, maybe that's what she wants to hear. girls like to be acknowledged and appreciated, and the number of chances a girl will give you even after you screw up hundreds of times is unthinkable and never appreciated. PLEASE answer mine Please answer mine?
Author 3rdone Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 A little bit of back story...We have a long history kinda cute actually...I was her camp coach when she was 13 and I was 19. Obviously I didn't think anything other than another kid at camp. Fast-forward 10 years later and she bumps into me at work (what are the odds we end up working for the same company)and ask me if I coached before and boom! we laughed about her being in my camp once upon a time...she ended up leaving the company and so did I. We bumped into each other out and about over the next 10 years (VERY RARE maybe once or twice every few years honestly) and it just so happens that we were both single this last time we met, and SHE actually said we should go out...yada, yada, yada... here I am a month later wondering what I did wrong and why...crazy so I've known of her for about 20 years...funny thing is when I ran into her at work 10 years ago, I instantly remembered who she was and her I. Never thought I'd have a chance to date her...now I don't know if I'll get another...funny how things turn out So it's more than just some girl I met
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