Break Up Story and I want her back.

[mada10593]

This is long so bear with me. It has been just over a month since my ex girlfriend has broke up with. A lot has changed in this month already as well. She already has a new boyfriend and seems happy from what I hear through the grapevine. We were together for under just 3 years. I am only 19 and she is 17, so I do understand this is period of change for both of us and need to experience things. That does not mean I was extremely hurt by it all. I still cry time to time for whatever reason. It just hits me. I started noticing something off when I came back from vacation in Mexico mid June. I missed her so much and we could hardly text or talk due to the rates. It seemed she missed me too. By the time I got back a week later. That was not the case. I was so excited to see her I just wanted her to jump on me and hug me. Rather, it was just a small smile and kiss saying nice to see you. Then she continued to watch tv and not show affection at all.

Going back to Mid-March, she wanted to initiate a break of sorts because she started talking to a guy that "made her feel like I used to" "felt like she hasn't experienced things". It was on her birthday she wanted too and I already had plans and a gift for her. I said no to the break, I could understand time to herself, but not if she is going to talk to a guy to develop more feelings for. She agreed to no break and the next couple months we had some of the best times together and were happy again. All the way up until I got back from Mexico. The guy she talked to was in another relationship during our the next two months I would like to add. After Mexico, we would hang out 2-3 times a week but it just didn't feel the same. I cared for her and showed affection time to time. She struggled to do so. An example of this I mean is when we would give each other that "look", and say I love you. She would struggle to say it back to me. The arguments started to happen frequently because I couldn't understand why she struggled to say I love you or show the tiniest bit of affection. The last day we were truly together was when I had my wisdom teeth removed. She came to visit me for a few hours, we shared many laughs, cuddled and just had a good time. Little did I know, that would be the last time together like that. Note we are July 14th now. It was Sunday, a day where I usually come over. She said she didn't want to clean house before I came over, so that day I didn't come over. She hardly replied to my texts that day at all. Night came around and she called me. She called me to "Hear her out". She said remember that guy I used to talk to? Well me, him, my friend, and his friend are going to go to a movie Friday to hook up our friends. I said oh sure yeah go ahead as long as your all going together. It bothered me a bit of course, but I wasn't the controlling type. 10 minutes later she texts me. He asked me to go to a concert too because his friend dropped out last second and the concert is this weekend, it could be a lot of fun so don't take it offensively. I told her my heart said no, but yeah you can go but I don't like it. The next day we didn't talk at all. Tuesday came around and we were texting normal again. Then out of nowhere she starts complaining how I was boring, we never did anything exciting together, she needs to have fun etc. I got sick hearing that I wasn't good enough so I said we are going to not talk til after this weekend. She seemed happy and said this is for the best and I love you and etc. Then went on to ask what if this guy tries to kiss me? I said, you tell him you have a boyfriend it's not that hard. So all the way up til Sunday we don't talk. Then I finally text her asking if she missed me? She replied with no. Then I asked well did you even think of me? She said no..this is the most fun I have had in a long time. Then drops a bomb that they kissed. We talked that Sunday night for 2 hours about everything. They kissed a few times she said but "it felt right". I was extremely hurt by this. The talk was good though, she said she wants to be with me and that she was just confused with her feelings and she needed time to think. So I agreed. She was going to continue to talk to this guy as well. I did not think this was fair at all. The next week for me was the worst week of my life. I was in a mild depression, couldn't eat or sleep at all. My life really did suck . We met up again the next Sunday and I knew what was coming now. She broke up with me that day, I held it together. It was July 28th now. We didn't talk at all until August 11th. The day after what would have been our 3 year. She said the guy was at her lake and they made out and that it didn't feel right and she only thought of me after they did. Because she knew I loved her and understood her (both virgins btw planned on losing it together down the road, the other guy was not one week it really bothered her, but the next week she changed her mind and said it was okay). She wanted to text me that night but told her self not to. For the next few weeks we talked off and on sometimes casual sometimes not casual. Basically she was still confused with her feelings and told me not to wait for her because I deserve better then that. After she said that, a day later she was "Facebook Official" with this guy. Everyone was astounded by this because no one really knew we broke up. People commented on us saying how we are going to get married because of how happy we were always together and etc. She said people came down on her but she was stubborn about her decision and changed her mind so many times for reasons she left me. She doesn't know herself really why she left me it seems. To put almost 3 years of her life behind her in less then a month killed me. I dropped all her things off and didn't say a word because getting rid of all that hurt a lot, and to see her just made me want to cry. The last we talked was just under a week ago, I am done trying to get back because its obviously useless. We basically talk she wants me to tell people her fabricated story of how we ended that "We both still care for each other, we just lost feelings for each other toward the end". I talked to her friend and her friend told me that she still deeply cares about me and loved me like a brother and really couldn't explain it to me. My ex girlfriend still has all my stuff like sweatshirts, jewelry, and cute notes. She said we will figure it out when I will get that stuff, but who knows when that could be really. After all the pain she put me through, do I want her back still? Yes I do. We were each others best friends. We could hang out cuddle, wrestle, joke around, just have a good time without having to do anything special. Its been over a month and my feelings toward her vary by the day, from mad, to missing her, to wanting her back. In the weeks we talked after the break up. She said having this new guy helped her not get sad at night and that she was afraid of "being alone". Being alone does suck and I thought well maybe that's what you needed to see what we had was real and that relationships aren't always butterflys that both need to pull their end to sustain it. Because toward the end, it was me trying to sustain it only. She gave up on it all for whatever reasons. We hardly had issues of compatibility or anything. In June she asked where do you see us living when we are older, I told her and she just seemed to be the happiest girl in the world after that. Times like that make me wonder what made her change her mind about me. I believe now she is in the honey moon stage of her relationship or even possibly "rebounding" but who knows really. I am living my life and not sitting around on the internet all day. I am at college trying to talk to girls, but it just isn't the same right now. They do not compare, even though I am trying not to compare. Also, I would say I am a "nice guy". I don't want a one night stand, I've always wanted a relationship with meaning and with my ex that's what we had. I do want her back in time maybe she will realize what she did was a mistake, but I know I can't wait around for that either. It will probably be once I moved on she will come around. Who knows though, that's what the hardest part is she seemed to have moved on and doesnt think of me. I am trying to move on and still think of her daily even when I really try not too. Advice? Thoughts? Also, our love story of getting together truly is magical I will add, it was like something out of a book and that's no joke. It was really special and I thought this girl was a girl I was going to marry in the future, not that I had a ring ready but the thought was there.

[tart6245]

I didn't read all of your story, but if you're 19 and she's 17, don't worry about it. She left you immediately for someone else and kind of dangled it in front of you like a cold person as it happened. I get you're young so that's what youngs do, but still, why tolerate that?

 

You're 19, go have some fun, meet other girls, and find happiness. Don't worry yourself over this girl. She was your first love and those are the hardest to get over, but your first love =/ your soulmate. If that was the case, the magic would never die. You're in college too. Tons of single girls.

 

Life is far too short to fret over a girl like that, especially one who's treated you like a doormat.