blindman Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) Me and my ex met thanks to a mutual friend in college. In the beginning I didn't like her at all. The only reason I would speak to her was to try and get her in bed. After a while of us talking I started to grow feelings (since the beginning she liked me). We spoke for about 2-3 months and then on 11/10/12 I asked her to be my girlfriend. She would tell me things like that she never felt this way for someone else. I would most of the times take our my life frustrations out on her, and make her cry a lot. 8 months down the road she went on a 9 day vacation with her 4 brothers. She barely had signal and our contact through that vacation wasn't good. When she came back and I visited her everything was awkward, at least I felt awkward. The following day I got mad and screamed at her for about 30 minutes (first time I ever raised my voice at her). She would also see me from time to time punching the walls etc (I was on steroids my test was pretty high never doing it again). The following day I asked her out to lunch for we can talk. We were in my car talking she asked for her space and I started crying, first time I've ever cried for a girl. Then I kept pursuing her and annoying her. After a month I cut my contact and she's been on this dating site speaking to guy and went out on a date. She told her cousin that it was to boost her self esteem because they compliment her. She also told her cousin that maybe a few years down the road we might see each other and fall in love again. I know it was my fault for being an a**hole. I apologized so many times I even changed the way I was. I just want her to see that I've changed I'm not sad anymore about it but sometimes I relapse. Any advice do you think I will ever get a second chance to prove myself? and show her who I truly am? (it's been 2 months since our break up) Edited September 2, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Pearlbay Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Me and my ex met thanks to a mutual friend in college. In the beginning I didn't like her at all. The only reason I would speak to her was to try and get her in bed. After a while of us talking I started to grow feelings (since the beginning she liked me). We spoke for about 2-3 months and then on 11/10/12 I asked her to be my girlfriend. She would tell me things like that she never felt this way for someone else. I would most of the times take our my life frustrations out on her, and make her cry a lot. 8 months down the road she went on a 9 day vacation with her 4 brothers. She barely had signal and our contact through that vacation wasn't good. When she came back and I visited her everything was awkward, at least I felt awkward. The following day I got mad and screamed at her for about 30 minutes (first time I ever raised my voice at her). She would also see me from time to time punching the walls etc (I was on steroids my test was pretty high never doing it again). The following day I asked her out to lunch for we can talk. We were in my car talking she asked for her space and I started crying, first time I've ever cried for a girl. Then I kept pursuing her and annoying her. After a month I cut my contact and she's been on this dating site speaking to guy and went out on a date. She told her cousin that it was to boost her self esteem because they compliment her. She also told her cousin that maybe a few years down the road we might see each other and fall in love again. I know it was my fault for being an a**hole. I apologized so many times I even changed the way I was. I just want her to see that I've changed I'm not sad anymore about it but sometimes I relapse. Any advice do you think I will ever get a second chance to prove myself? and show her who I truly am? Reflect on yourself and note down what is 'not good' and what you CAN improve. For example you could work on controlling yourself better. So when the time comes she wants to try again you will be a different man.
12yearsin Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Sounds like you messed up pretty bad. All you can do now is keep trying to prove that you have changed.
Author blindman Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Sounds like you messed up pretty bad. All you can do now is keep trying to prove that you have changed. But how if she doesn't give me the chance? How can I show it her?
Author blindman Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Keep doing what you're doing. I know I'm being a bit annoying. My question is how will she see it if we don't speak? But I will keep on doing what I've been doing in the sense of changing to better myself.
12yearsin Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 It seems like you're still n the same circle of people. She will here about your good progress.
Author blindman Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 It seems like you're still n the same circle of people. She will here about your good progress. I'll see because like me she's quite hard headed.
MrE_UK Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) Hi, Change is hard work and isn't overnight. Saying you realise and changed just isn't enough (trust me, I know all about this!)... Here's some steps to think about (if you haven't already): 1. Text her: "Hi, I just wanted to say I am sorry for my past behaviour. You've made me realise I have some issues I need to take care of. I am seeking help for my anger and relationship problems. I hope you're well and okay. I wish you all the very best - you deserve it." Then don't text or call her again. 2. Go get some relationship counselling 3. Enrol on an anger management course 4. Work on you: exercise, eat healthily, new aftershave, new hobby, work harder, improve your education, redecorate, etc.,. Remember, you are doing this for you. And only you. Don't just say it, actions speak volumes. A genuine person is a trustworthy person. Give it at least 6-12 months of consistency...then people will see you've changed. She may come back, she may not; but, if not you need to make changes to have a better relationship next time. Edited September 3, 2013 by MrE_UK
Author blindman Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Hi, Change is hard work and isn't overnight. Saying you realise and changed just isn't enough (trust me, I know all about this!)... Here's some steps to think about (if you haven't already): 1. Text her: "Hi, I just wanted to say I am sorry for my past behaviour. You've made me realise I have some issues I need to take care of. I am seeking help for my anger and relationship problems. I hope you're well and okay. I wish you all the very best - you deserve it." Then don't text or call her again. 2. Go get some relationship counselling 3. Enrol on an anger management course 4. Work on you: exercise, eat healthily, new aftershave, new hobby, work harder, improve your education, redecorate, etc.,. Remember, you are doing this for you. And only you. Don't just say it, actions speak volumes. A genuine person is a trustworthy person. Thank you for the advice you just gave me. I already told her that I'm going to fix myself etc. I'm not completely fixed but I'm getting better. I just hope she will one day see that I've improved and will continue to do so.
Author blindman Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 I also cut my hair in her aunts salon. So sometimes I might run into her. Last Saturday I ran into her and I didn't want to be rude so I said hi and she said hi with an odd face. But other than that I've stayed NC for about a month.
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