Sukotto Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 Well I saw my ex since I found out she had cheated on me and I was pretty sure that I would be able to handle it and that I would be able to cope with seeing her. She hasn't been to the gym since we split almost 7 weeks ago so she suggested that we go there and I was quite happy with that. So she picked me up at 7:30 and we didn't really say too much in the car, the both of us just kept smiling. Got out and went inside and she went off to go get changed and I spoke to the person at the desk who was suprised to see us both there and she made me feel a bit better by telling me not to be so nervous etc. Once we actually went into the gym we talked and about half way through after I took a break from weights she came over and gave me a hug and told me she missed me. That was probably the hardest part of the night and I told her that I missed our conversations. She kept asking if I was ok and of course I told her I was fine and everything was great, but unfortunately she can read me like a book and could see that I was lying but thankfully she let it drop, so we finished working out and headed downstairs to the spa area to sit and chat. We sat and chatted about university and courseworks and our familes etc and she asked again how I was and what I was thinking, again she knows me too damn well and can tell when I have things on my mind. So I just came out and said what I was thinking. I told her that it was niave of the two of us to think that a relationship was going to last when we were so young, we were both changing as we matured and it was for the best that we split now and dealt with everything now rather than in a years time when one of us decided that we wanted to try something new in the relationship. Well that shut her up which is not something that happens often and then she said she was sorry and I told her the only thing she needed to be sorry for was lying to me about it when I asked her to her face and when we split she also didn't tell me. So the entire thing was really wierd and I dont know if its because I haven't seen her in 4 weeks and I need to get use to seeing her as a friend rather than a girlfriend or is it because I still have feelings for her. To be honest mentally I dont want to consider a second chance until we've both at least tried other relationships but my heart says otherwise and well the heart seems to win. She asked If I'd go again next week and also asked if I'd like to go out for dinner a week on Friday after her coursework is finished with and I said I'd get back to her. I want to make a friendship work but I dont know if i'm going the right way about this. Since last week we've started chatting on MSN nearly everyday and she sends me text messages.
Weird Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 if you can feel comfortable in hanging out as friends then do it. If you don't then don't try to do a friendship and keep your true feelings bottled up inside. If that si the case then take some mroe time off from talking/hanging out with her until you feel better.
Author Sukotto Posted November 15, 2004 Author Posted November 15, 2004 The problem was I was sure that I was feeling better. I hardly think about her at all and I've been going out with my friends more, working extra hours, looking for a new flat and generally keeping myself busy. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone who has been in a similar situtation can tell me if the awkwardness will pass. I know that I'm probably not 100% over her but I'm hoping that its just going to get easier with more contact rather than harder.
head/heels Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 just be you and dont let her see that you are missing her for 1 nanosecond....dont screw this up by thinking it will be cute if she knows you are devastated by not having her.....i am not saying this is her, but it could be that once she knows she has you she will go back to being distant and know she has you on a string.. she has to really believe you are 100% fine w/o her because she will only then want you to not ever be away from her and not the other way around! trust me i have read over 2000 posts or more on here and this is what happens a great majority of the time! just be confident , funny, fun, laughing, teasing, and even chat to other guys and girls there so that she sees you are independent of her for conversatino and fun....she will equate this to you being like this when you are single and go out with others!
Author Sukotto Posted November 16, 2004 Author Posted November 16, 2004 I done my best to try and give the impression that I'm 100% and I certainly dont want to end up on a string. Its just hard when someone has known you for so long and has the ability to know what your thinking just from taking a single look at you. I can't even lie beceause she tells me my left eye twitches when I lie and i tend to focus on her nose rather than look into her eyes or when I'm nervous I rub my thumb off my middle finger, these aren't things I conciously do so I can't really help it. Well I know about a dozen more people since we stopped dating since I've been at the gym quite often and she commented that I seem to know all these people on a first name basis rather than just a face. Teasing is certainly an issue, I mentioned that she had lost weight and she asked me to check what size her shorts were and well i had to ignore her purple spotty underwear, though I managed to keep my cool. I do feel a bit better today and I had a fair bit to enter into my journal, yay. Now back to work...
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