irc333 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I have some female friends...apparently she's done her share of online dating and I told her about the recent woman I met, and she suggested I should bring a flower on the next date. Because, "Women just LOVE flowers!" And I told her, "No, YOU love flowers, that's something I don't do unless we start getting serious/exclusive" And she's like "Fine suit yourself" When I know for a fact it may actually sabotage things. Most women tend to be scared off if you attempt at romance TOO quickly. Thats just an example, but gentleman ever have women give youdating advice that made it seem a little "off" about their advice?
Maleficent Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I don't see how a flower will scare a woman off. It's a cute gesture and I'm sure she'll find it sweet. I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't like receiving flowers. Seriously. 3
HappyLove Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Woman here, if you brought flowers I'd be impressed, you'd actually stand out from all the guys who don't do it. I'd be more impressed with a bouquet of something unique than just one stem. 1
SillieBillie Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 They sense doormat and they scare easy. They think why is he so nice, must be loser. Personally, I would love to recieve a flower. And I wouldn't be on a date with a guy that I thought was a loser either. I see losers as men who are too hung up on being 'men' or men with 'little man syndrome'... Just common jerks. A man who gives some romantic thought to a date, is someone I would want to invest my time in.
Maleficent Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) I would never give the time of day to some one so feminist as to say they don't like men hung up on being men. He doesn't feel a flower is right end of story. He asked a question. we answered. Plus you got 4 women here (including OPs friend) we would love to receive a flower. … Edited September 2, 2013 by Maleficent 1
MidwestUSA Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 A single flower would be sweet, as long as it's not a rose. A 1950's penny would be cool as well, NOT. 1943, sure. Reading comprehension intact here. We're telling him that his sense of "off" is OFF.
Mrlonelyone Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 IME 1.) Women give that advice based on what they want from a man they are sure they like. They never account for the ambivalence of an early relationship. 2) Bringing flowers, and other romantic gestures, only make the woman decide if they like you that way or not. If she's going to feel romantic about you then flowers will be welcome. The same with Valentines, birthdays, etc. Not being romantic about a romantic relationship out of fear of rejection only delays the end. 3) Since this is online dating and explicitly romantic a flower an the second date or latter can't hurt. 5
Versacehottie Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 We like a flower, trust....as long as it's in proportion with the situation. 1. If YOU are a doormat, and it is a desperate attempt to sway us, it's not going to work or be appreciated half as much as if you are more macho (for lack of a better word) and it's a welcome surprise coming from you. That makes us feel like the special girl who you went out on the limb for. And that despite what you portray in general that there is a soft, sweet, well-mannered side reserved only for the special girl in your life. So DEPENDING ON WHO YOU ARE, a flower can be a great thing. I would say it's the smallest percentage of guys who fall into that complete doormat, desperate situation if we are already on a date with you. 2. If we are on a SECOND date with you, or later than that, a flower is a good thing. We wouldn't be on a second date with YOU if we didn't want to be--the presence of a FLOWER is not a make-or-break item. In fact, it will only give more "dimension" and detail to the date which will strengthen things. 3. Gotta present it with confidence and kinda a throw-away attitude. If you are over-thinking it this much, that is probably not bound to happen. 4. Your girlfriends can be giving you great advice and open your eyes to some aspects you have never thought of. It's up to you to filter that advice as it relates to the girl you are dating and who you are. Some friends give better advice than others so rather than ask a wide pool of people, just stick to one or two that are solid people who understand you. 2
LilGirlandOW Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Bringing a flower doesnt give off doormat sirens to me. Unless you're looking to woo a man, I dont understand how collecting tips and advice from women could hurt. Just make sure your focus group of woman you get your info from are the same breed of woman you're looking to date. (a) I'm very girly, like fairytales and puppies.... how you would date and woo me would be very different than (b) a woman who loved dirtbiking and video games, or how you would date and woo © a feminist type of woman. Its all about who you get your info from. "(a)" types like me would love a flower, we might even dry it and make some cute keepsake from it, "(B)" types would laugh at a flower maybe call you cheesy, possibly see the doormat issue, while "©" types would burn the flower, possibly, lol. GoodLuck! 2
LilGirlandOW Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 to add to this though, I love flowers and everything girly and sweet.... but also like a man with an edge.... not too soft or spongy, thats a huge turn off.
nescafe1982 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I love getting flowers, but think it's a bit much for a first date. It wouldn't in any way tell me a guy's a "doormat," though: silly. I think if anything it would come across as pressure to me on a first date, but most likely I wouldn't read into it that much. But I think it's a risky move before the third date or so.
forgetmenot75 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Exactly, no flowers on first dates! Some friends try to help in the wrong way, maybe she is into you? Just saying...
phineas Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 what women say & what women actually want are two totally different things. If I ask for a woman friends advice I listen to what she says & do the exact opposite and I've almost always wound up getting the chick. LOL! For instance, I'm getting ripped. I've cut out drinking & stick to diet cokes when I go out & my chick friends say I don't need to lose any more weight, that I look good, that women want something to hold onto, then they turn around & start talking about this ripped dude at work we know who is my height (5'8") & actually smaller than me muscle wise and how "super fit" (hot) he is. No woman EVER has told their BF "honey, your body looks too much like one of those Greek statues, do you think you could start chugging beer & downing baskets of wings until you have man-boobs because that would be HOT" Actually, if a woman thinks a guy is hot, everything they say goes right out the window. 5
KathyM Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Most women like flowers (who doesn't?), but as another poster said, to give her flowers on the first date could feel like too much pressure. What if the date didn't go well? What if one or both of you decided you were not a match and didn't want to see each other again? Wait until after the first date to send flowers if the date went well and you want to see her again. My husband had a bouquet of flowers delivered to my house the day after our first date, and it was very romantic and gave me a wonderful impression of him. As far as dating tips, women know what they want, they know what they are looking for in a man, they know what interests them and impresses them or turns them on. Why would you NOT listen to women when they tell you what they like? They know it better than what a man would. 1
Sanman Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I think the correct question to ask is how many women here received flowers on the first date and is that the guy they are with currently. I think you will find that while many women think they would like it, the real life scenario has not happened to give them a real perspective. Dating advice is often silly because what people THINK they want is rarely what they actually want.
carhill Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Thats just an example, but gentleman ever have women give you dating advice that made it seem a little "off" about their advice? I followed much of their general advice for many years and failed disastrously. Then, I started paying attention to what successful men were doing and saying, as well as listening to their advice, and things improved markedly. The key was in the numbers. Successful men know and practice what works with *many* women, since they dated and mated with many women. One woman gives advice that she feels positive about for *herself* and generally omits the part about such acts and/or words being predicated upon her feeling that ten second initial attraction which gains the man an audience for 'romance'. My responsibility was not properly understanding the words and taking them in a global way. This caused the decade of the flower/herb garden and the polishing of handwriting and poetry skills and now is the impetus for many jokes about the foolishness (mine) of that period. Getting married put it all in perspective. Good luck. 3
truth_seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 They think why is he so nice, must be loser. A guy is nice and he is a loser? Huh?
truth_seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 And she's like "Fine suit yourself" When a woman says she's fine, it means the opposite. 1
truth_seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Actually, if a woman thinks a guy is hot, everything they say goes right out the window. 100% truth.
phineas Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You missed the real tip. You need to be able to effectively humor women without them knowing. You don't even try. You mean look at them as if they are a small child & just nod with a smile? Yeah, I do that also instead of wasting the energy pointing out the contradictions in what they say & what they do.
Keenly Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I usually don't take dating advice from women. See Cosmo. The advice women give is always what THEY want, not what women want. Its custom tailored to them, and will only really work for that one woman. 1
phineas Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I usually don't take dating advice from women. See Cosmo. The advice women give is always what THEY want, not what women want. Its custom tailored to them, and will only really work for that one woman. correction, only works for that woman if she is hot for the guy. Otherwise it's "needy", "creepy", "coming on too strong" ect. 1
Avulare Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't like receiving flowers. Seriously. I'll raise my hand... While the gesture is cute sometimes, I really don't understand the delight people take with putting amputated plant genitals in a vase and watching them die slowly indoors. Take me on a walk at the botanical garden instead. 2
Maleficent Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I think the correct question to ask is how many women here received flowers on the first date and is that the guy they are with currently. I think you will find that while many women think they would like it, the real life scenario has not happened to give them a real perspective. Dating advice is often silly because what people THINK they want is rarely what they actually want. I have. He brought me a rose on our first date but he didn't give it t one because he had the same concerns stated in this thread. I found the rose and he told me it was for me. And I thought it was sweet. I told him that had he given me the rose I would have liked it. We dated for a few months but we were just not a match as far a 'future plans' were.
Maleficent Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Just applies if she already likes him. If a guy is overweight with thick glasses and socially awkward, good luck finding any woman that wouldn't be creeped out by flowers. Well they're going on a second date no? So she likes him, at least a little...
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