madmax87 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Many of you have probably read my tale. I've spent my summer feeling pretty awful about the way things went down, the discovery of my ex's blog, and so on and so forth. The past two weeks were good for me. I made a breakthrough in my grad program and I became confident in my work, dare I say happy with the way my life was starting to go independent of her. Then I find myself still searching out information. Why?! Why do I do this to myself. I suspect I don't like that I'm starting to recover. I suspect that maybe I feel guilty, and that she dies when I feel better. Why do I do this?!
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Many of you have probably read my tale. I've spent my summer feeling pretty awful about the way things went down, the discovery of my ex's blog, and so on and so forth. The past two weeks were good for me. I made a breakthrough in my grad program and I became confident in my work, dare I say happy with the way my life was starting to go independent of her. Then I find myself still searching out information. Why?! Why do I do this to myself. I suspect I don't like that I'm starting to recover. I suspect that maybe I feel guilty, and that she dies when I feel better. Why do I do this?! We all do this to a point (well most). No matter how many times you look, its NEVER a good reason and/or anything positive comes out of searching for answers. I know all these reasons and yet I still do it. I guess its the feeling of they can still be in your life if you keep them in yours. It doesnt mean you aren't healing....in fact, sounds like you're doing great. Dont let this pull you back. Keep moving forward
Ireallydontknow Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I wish I could tell you. I just try and act like she is dead to me. Because well at this point and time she is.
Author madmax87 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 She has a blog that she alluded to, but claimed that she didn't want me to see as only a certain few could see it. That seemed odd to me. Why bother telling me about it. She must've wanted me to see it. Basically it revealed that the whole time we were together she was messed up from her ex/still stuck on him. She saw that we had a good thing, but was too damaged to really embrace it.
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