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Will NC Take Longer When You Act Pathetic And Crazy During Breakup?

MyFault69

By MyFault69
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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MyFault69 Member

MyFault69

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So its been six weeks for NC and two months since breakup me 34 her 23. It ended cause I got too comftorable and took her for granted the last two months of our six month relationship. I was waiting for it to end and a week after it did It finally hit me what I had and the little moments we shared tortured me so I tried to get her back.

 

I sent her flowers to her work with a one long page note saying how I wanted to fight for her. The next day I had her meet me at her work where she gave me a tour and I gave her a gift card for pedicure. She told me then she made up her mind and no changing it.

 

So later that day I freaked out and made her meet me again. I got emotional and she told me she got fed up then got over it. When I asked you mean me she said the relationship. I got all pathetic and ran away.

 

This is where it gets bad she told me a guy we worked a private party with asked her out and I blew up saying I was gonna beat him up with a bat. I know It wasnt smart and I didnt even know. Apparently it was a misunderstanding saying he didnt know she was my gf. He forgived me but she said I went bat **** crazy. I told her I didnt know how to deal with this and sent her two long dramatic texts apologizing to which she didnt respond to which was our last contact six weeks ago.

 

I just found out she moved into her own place from her parents and it got my mind racing with thoughts of her with another guy. Its been getting worse my thoughts and I really miss her.

 

I know the relationship is over but I still want to be in her life. Will a longer NC help her forget that and remember the beginning of relationship? For people who freaked out and got pathetic how did you get them to forgive or forget that? Thanks for reading.

Omei Established Member

Omei

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Thats pretty crazy for only dating for 6 months, I would move on you def have scared her away. Don't hope for anything.

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BrokenHeartedSavior Established Member

BrokenHeartedSavior

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"longer NC" ??

 

Yeah, like permanently.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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no contact isnt a tool for someone to use to make the other person forget what you have done or to get them back either....

 

 

no contact is a difficult and hard process that you need to use to move on, shouldn't be used other than to help you not to punish someone or make them miss you........

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Kizza Established Member

Kizza

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Sorry to say that she will not forget the crazy part. You burned the bridge there and I would move on and never go crazy loco again, learn from what happened and don't do it again.

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MyFault69 Member

MyFault69

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Yah they say NC is for healing and getting over but lets be honest everyone who comes on here and uses it is in one way or another either trying to get their ex back in relationship or in life.

 

You say she will never forget the crazy part but the beginning of relationship was amazing and she told me personal stuff thats tramauatizing she only told one other person. She also told me other stuff that made me feel close to.

 

One time she sent a video of her cat to me and three other people. When I asked why three she said its the only people shes close to in life.

 

Thats got to mean something eventually down the line when shes starts remembering the good.

 

You say NC wont help her forget the crazy part and rather then say move on forget her, then how do I do it to make her forgive me so I can be in her life again? And

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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Its over. NC. Stop thinking about anything else. Make this your religion until recovered. Who cares if she remembers the good parts. Just assume she is dead. Cav

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MyFault69 Member

MyFault69

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I see alot of people on this forum say NC until pretty much death. Thing is I still want to be in her life and not talking to her ever again is not something I want.

hopefulfaerie Established Member

hopefulfaerie

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I see alot of people on this forum say NC until pretty much death. Thing is I still want to be in her life and not talking to her ever again is not something I want.

Most of us don't want that. At least at first. Until recently (like days recently) all I wanted was him in my life at least in some capacity. That will pass if you stick to NC. Its very difficult at first but we are here for you.

We've all been there.

I' m so sorry for your pain. It really does get easier.

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OverThinker72 Member

OverThinker72

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I went NC the day my ex ended it via text. My reply to his long apologetic text was "Ok". Of course I wanted to plead and and beg for him to reconsider but he didn't want me. Full stop. I got rid of everything to do with him. I didn't do it in the hope he would come back to me, no way!!! I did it for myself and especially for my sanity. It's been a hard 7 weeks but it would have been harder if I had pleaded and begged. Everyone reacts differently to break ups but one thing you should always remember...You come first..not them. If you stick to NC you will start to see things differently. You will feel differently and start to appreciate things that truly matter. Don't fight a hopeless battle. Things will get better with time :)

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bentleychic Established Member

bentleychic

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You sound unhinged, quite honestly. I would change my number and not leave a forwarding address if I were the ex-gf.

 

Leave her alone. No contact, no friendship, no texts, NOTHING or you may end up looking at a restraining order.

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Kitchen Established Member

Kitchen

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You sound unhinged, quite honestly. I would change my number and not leave a forwarding address if I were the ex-gf.

 

Leave her alone. No contact, no friendship, no texts, NOTHING or you may end up looking at a restraining order.

 

Care to explain what makes me sound that way? I don't see what I did that is so different than what a lot of dumpees do initially.

bentleychic Established Member

bentleychic

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You sound like you are stalking her and then to basically threaten to beat up a guy that asked her out? Sounds like crazy town to me.

Kitchen Established Member

Kitchen

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You sound like you are stalking her and then to basically threaten to beat up a guy that asked her out? Sounds like crazy town to me.

 

Um.. maybe you're not reading my posts correctly? I think you're confusing me with OP. I didn't stalk her, just showed up at her house today since I was in the area. And I certainly didn't threaten to beat anyone up

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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I see alot of people on this forum say NC until pretty much death. Thing is I still want to be in her life and not talking to her ever again is not something I want.

 

Well it isnt until death. Im in contact with my ex gf of 8 years no problem. The thing is my attitude was NC until death while i was recovering. It took me 7 or 8 months 100 percent NC to get over it. Now i couldnt care less. You dont have the luxury of thinking otherwise now. Cav

LostOne1 Established Member

LostOne1

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Um.. maybe you're not reading my posts correctly? I think you're confusing me with OP. I didn't stalk her, just showed up at her house today since I was in the area. And I certainly didn't threaten to beat anyone up

See I don't know if that was a good idea... If she wants you out of her life and you keep showing up.. then what's the point? That will feel like you're stalking her and not giving her the space away that she wants from you.

 

Sometimes it's better to let it al go and realize you can't control the outcome. Sadly all you can do is accept it.

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MyFault69 Member

MyFault69

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Kitchen and Bentleychic you got me confused are you talking about me or Kitchen whose story I know nothing about but seems to be showing up at ex's place.

 

I admit I went nuts. She said this to me In one of our last texts when I told her she looked cold "I was with a guy who hid his emotions and didn't know how to be in a real relationship." So it must have surprised her to see how emotional I got.

 

But I never abused, cheated, raised my voice to her or called her a bad name I just got comftorable and lazy and took her for granted.

 

So back to my original question how can I make up for that besides NC? If she contacts me how do I handle it? And please only answers that help.

LostOne1 Established Member

LostOne1

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First off.. she WON'T contact you. I think she is done and it's over.

 

If she DOES contact you.. ignore it. Chances are she is just going to contact you "if" she does only to see if she made the right decision.

 

Fact is bro it's over. I got comfy and lazy with my ex too. But the fact was she was done and she wasn't going to change her mind.

 

I'm telling you the truth here.. IT'S OVER. The sooner you accept she will never talk to you the better it will be. Otherwise you will become like me obsessive for months and waste your time and then when you heal realize how stupid you were.

 

Honestly, just accept it's over and you and her will NEVER get back together. Then start your own life without her and a new adventure.

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Kitchen Established Member

Kitchen

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Kitchen and Bentleychic you got me confused are you talking about me or Kitchen whose story I know nothing about but seems to be showing up at ex's place.

 

Sorry bro for taking over your thread. I logged on to LoveShack to ask the exact question that you have in the thread title, so I figured I should post here instead of making my own.

Kitchen Established Member

Kitchen

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See I don't know if that was a good idea... If she wants you out of her life and you keep showing up.. then what's the point? That will feel like you're stalking her and not giving her the space away that she wants from you.

 

Sometimes it's better to let it al go and realize you can't control the outcome. Sadly all you can do is accept it.

 

Yea, you're right. Well it was only once that I showed up, actually twice, but last time it was a much better result as it was after 17 days of NC so she actually seemed glad I did it. This time she just ignored me. I won't be doing it again.

Kizza Established Member

Kizza

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Yah they say NC is for healing and getting over but lets be honest everyone who comes on here and uses it is in one way or another either trying to get their ex back in relationship or in life.

 

You say she will never forget the crazy part but the beginning of relationship was amazing and she told me personal stuff thats tramauatizing she only told one other person. She also told me other stuff that made me feel close to.

 

One time she sent a video of her cat to me and three other people. When I asked why three she said its the only people shes close to in life.

 

Thats got to mean something eventually down the line when shes starts remembering the good.

 

You say NC wont help her forget the crazy part and rather then say move on forget her, then how do I do it to make her forgive me so I can be in her life again? And

 

 

It can take years to build something up with awesomeness and seconds to tear it all down. I am telling you, she will never forget the crazy! the threats with the baseball bat. She may forgive or come to understand but never forget. Your crazy actions are now a stain in the history you share with her and unfortunately they are her most recent memory.

 

I guess it depends on her as a person if she is able to look past the crazy and remember the good times.

 

Look at how she communicates with you today and within lies there your answer...

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MyFault69 Member

MyFault69

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Lostone you said she will contact me to see if she made right decision. If she does how do I make her to get to hang out with me? And please only answers that help.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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Lostone you said she will contact me to see if she made right decision. If she does how do I make her to get to hang out with me? And please only answers that help.

 

Why would you want to manipulate someone into hanging out with you? Why not hang out with someone who wants to hang out with you via their own free will?

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LostOne1 Established Member

LostOne1

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Lostone you said she will contact me to see if she made right decision. If she does how do I make her to get to hang out with me? And please only answers that help.

I said MAYBE she will contact you. BUT DO NOT expect it. Otherwise you will go on months waiting to hear from her and never will.

 

You also CANNOT make her love you or like you or even hang out with you.

 

You don't seem to GET it... you CAN'T do ANYTHING. It's not about what you want now.. it's about what she wants. And what she wants is NOT YOU!

 

So it's time to STOP thinking about her and think about other things YOU want that DO NOT involve her in anyway.

 

I told you.. so think it over again. She isn't going to be with you again and doesn't want you. If she did she would've never left you in the first place.

 

Time to let it go and ACCEPT she is done and you are done. Only then will you start the healing/getting over her process.

 

I went through something similar like you, but my ex NEVER contacted me ever. It's been over a year now and I never have heard from her. I ran into her once by accident at school and even then she avoided me like I was a total stranger.

 

So expect that she will treat you the same way if she ever saw you again anytime soon. Just let it go now otherwise you will just cause more pain to your own self.

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LostOne1 Established Member

LostOne1

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You can't 'make' her hang out with you, she's got to make that decision herself...

 

Why would you want to manipulate someone into hanging out with you? Why not hang out with someone who wants to hang out with you via their own free will?

 

Exactly.. I mean this is starting to sound like he's desperate or something.

 

Only someone desperate would say "hey you have to be my friend or girlfriend". REAL people NEVER beg, they just respect ones that want to hang with them.

 

SOoner or later this guy will get the fact that you can't make someone like/love you. It has to come to that person on their own terms and feelings.

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