Atem Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Hello LoveShackers, A little while ago I decided to conduct an experiment with a girl that I met through OLD and I'm pretty sure that I'll get flamed for it here. That said - please see past the initial "what a bastard" reaction, as I'm looking for some analysis here. I already know that what I did wasn't too nice (though I don't think that I've caused any emotional harm on the girl either). Anyway - here's the setup (some of you may recognize the girl of this story from a previous post that I made about 1 month ago): Background - met through OKC (23, cute blonde, 8.5/10) - had 4 dates - all of them went very well - she was totally into me and actually initiated contact (as in text 1-2 hrs after each date) and follow-up dates (as in "lets do this next time") - date 4: we get it on and make it to bed fully naked - she gives me the standard "I'm not a slut" bit as in "I dont usually do this"...etc. while putting my hand between her legs (figures...) - she then says "we probly shouldn't have sex" to which I respond "why do you think that I want to" to which she responds "because you're a guy" - that last comment pissed me off, so I get her off 10x or so via hand and then break things off without ****ing her - this totally catches her off guard, she frantically puts her clothes on, mumbles crap about how usually doesnt go this far, begs me to tell her that we'll meet again soon and leaves Alright - at that point I thought that she's gone for good because she obviously felt rejected and embarrassed (after all, I let her do all the work as in jump onto me, rip her/my clothes off and put my hand between her legs...etc. snd then I left her hanging). Well, turns out this wasn't the case - she texts me a week later after her vacation and wants to meet up. I'm like "sure, come by, I'm free this pm". Nothing happens until 7 at which point she cancels because shes "tired". Now, usually I'd be like "**** her" and disappear but this time around I decided to try something. Obviously she was trying to play the "Im busy" game to turn things around and gain control of the situation (which for me was done already). So, instead of bailing, I decided to see how often I can push her away only to get her back (as in agreeing to meet up with me). EXPERIMENT - after she cancels because of being "tired" she suggests meeting 2 days later - to that, I say that I'm busy and suggest meeting a day after that - she waits with her response till the day off and then blows me off - so we shoot for the weekend - unfortunately, a "business trip" pops up out of nowhere and I cancel that meeting (I actually did have a business trip but couldve still met her before that...) Anyway - this **** goes on for 2 weeks - asking for a date, then being cancelled on, suggesting new date only to cancel again...etc. After 2 weeks, I decide to "blow up" on her and give her the "I'm fed up with this scheduling crap, so lets part here" bit to which she responds a little irritated but understanding. I wait 2 days and text her again about some random crap (at first) and then about meeting up. Obviously she plays hard to get but then, 1 week later, agrees to meeting me, gives me a few specific dates to pick from and asks me to talk via g-chat. I pull a 180, tell her that I'm out that week and that I rarely use g-chat. However, I say that she can send me an email and I'll respond. She gets irritated and wants to "stop talking". At this point, I spew out some BS about being ultra busy and stressed and about how I didnt mean to blow her off. She kinda buys it but more cautiously (not surprising). I decide to play around and throw in some random ass messages with silly jokes and with German catch phrases (we both speak German). Confuses the crap out of her, but she still responds (I couldnt believe it...). A week later (as in 3 weeks into the entire thing) I drop her again and she gets furiously mad (still does NOT cuss me out or tell me to **** off). So, I play the big card and tell her that I'll call her the next day. She reluctantly agrees. Obviously, I dont call but send a cop out text about being busy. She gets ultra pissed and tells me that she doesnt want to play my game anymore. The next day I purposefully call but she obviously doesnt pick up. However, she texts me saying that she's out with people at the moment. I let a week go by, then call again - same story But still, she keeps responding. At this point (4 weeks into this) I get bored and tell her to tell me to **** off so I dont feel tempted to keep messing with her. She finally does, and it ends. QUESTIONS So, sorry about the long post and thanks for making it this far. I pretty much get that she was into me, felt rejected when I didnt **** her, wanted to play hard to get to get back at me and then felt more and more irritated when I kept messing with her. What I dont get is why she KEPT RESPONDING? Was she really craving attention this badly? Didnt she get that I was not being serious (despite saying that I was...)? Again, you'll probly hate my guts but please see past that and explain this to me. Was this a game for her? Was it an ego boost for a low self-esteem girl? Did she really really want to like me (very unlikely imo...)? In any case, this cost me minimal effort and helped me get some interesting data. I "got her back" (as in agreeing to meet me) 3x - the last time may have been fake, but the other 2 were authentic I think. Anyway - thoughts?
KatZee Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Or perhaps everything you're "assuming" in this asinine thread came out of your own warped brain and isn't actually reality at all. There was zero communication with this girl to actually try to understand what was going on. I see YOU as the one playing the games here for the ego boost (love your use of extreme smile faces after your idiot behavior ). I think she was initially very interested in you, and wanted to try to work on the foundation that had begun to be formed (first 4 dates). Instead, you decided to pull a power struggle thing here, and then stretch it out for your own amusement. And that's why she finally told you to f*ck off. 6
forgetmenot75 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 She has self esteem problems and she liked you, she really did. I'd never, ever followed your game, because I'd noticed instantly you're a player and a douchebag.
darkmoon Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 you might be one of a few boyfriends, it's fun being single
2sure Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 It sounds like she was playing the same game you were, But finally got bored with it. 1
StanMusial Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I don't really see the point in all that. Flaky McFlakerston. 2
Maleficent Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Seems like you wasted a lots of energy on a girl you didn't get to sleep with... 8
StanMusial Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Seems like you wasted a lots of energy on a girl you didn't get to sleep with... Lol. I was thinking the same thing. Massive fail. 2
CptSaveAho Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 why didnt you have sex with her when yall were naked together if a girl tells you that "i ususally dont do this or I am not a slut" while laying naked next to you (shes lying and full of ****), tell her to shut up and put it in her (she will thank you for it) guys are such morons... your entire post after the not having sex part is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and doesnt matter 3
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 so you manipulated her confused her and want to know what now? you got your data so hope that data helps you decide that you really are an ass...you dont really need others to tell you, you are butt residue...you must feel it yoruself, if you have a heart at all...manipulating a girl who cares for you......making her feel like crap after you were intimate with her....not at all worthy of respect from compassionate people dontcha think?...deb 2
StanMusial Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 so you manipulated her confused her and want to know what now? you got your data so hope that data helps you decide that you really are an ass...you dont really need others to tell you, you are butt residue...you must feel it yoruself, if you have a heart at all...manipulating a girl who cares for you......making her feel like crap after you were intimate with her....not at all worthy of respect from compassionate people dontcha think?...deb She was probably wondering why her new gay bff was playing phone tag with her.
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 She was probably wondering why her new gay bff was playing phone tag with her. smilin...maybe......lol....deb
CptSaveAho Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 yup i didnt see one ounce of manipulation either just some guy shooting himself in the foot over and over and over and over and then coming to ls to brag about it 9
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 yup i didnt see one ounce of manipulation either just some guy shooting himself in the foot over and over and over and over and then coming to ls to brag about it i liked a post from captain save a ho...now i know i am sick....deb 5
Kizza Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Only a coward plays with a woman's heart and you are a coward. 1
lino Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 If I was you I would've f*cked her when both of you were naked and kept doing it until a better girl came along. Don't really see the point in such experiments.
nescafe1982 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Sounds to me like she thought you were pretty boring. She kept texting you back to give you the opportunity to stop being so boring, but in the end you didn't pan out. Bummer. Time to change your game, bro.... isn't actually getting laid the point of such games for you d-bag types? 1
sigurpol Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Someone else mentioned her playing the same game as you, I would probably go with that conclusion. Also, just seems like a simple 'game' of pull and release. People want closure sometimes, people want answers, maybe that was it. I highly doubt figuring any of this 'experiment' out would supply any answers. It's so subject that I doubt it would apply to anything else.
Frogwife Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 so I get her off 10x or so via hand and then break things off without ****ing her - this totally catches her off guard, she frantically puts her clothes on, mumbles crap about how usually doesnt go this far, begs me to tell her that we'll meet again soon and leaves Alright - at that point I thought that she's gone for good because she obviously felt rejected and embarrassed (after all, I let her do all the work as in jump onto me, rip her/my clothes off and put my hand between her legs...etc. snd then I left her hanging). Dear Penthouse letters, I never thought it could happen to me.... 3
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You overplayed a very typical and basic dating scenario...she likes you, she gets naked...she wants to give you the impression she isn't the "easy" type, she assumes you will stick it in though because you are a guy...and she was right, but you threw a hissy fit because of a comment and decided to try and make a point which had no means to an end. Because instead of proving you weren't that kind of a guy (which you are you just hated being called out) you decided to try and shun and manipulate her. All this game playing was just really a waste of your time, you lost out and looked stupid in the end...the average guy would have just slept with her and then moved along and then played the "I'm busy and stressed" card, which isn't necessarily better but it's less manipulative of the two since you didn't make any guarantees which men love that grey area...but you didn't get laid nor did you did it for any good reason...I think your own insecurity is shining through here. Maybe she isn't exactly "that kind of girl" or doesn't do it often at least because maybe she really liked you and since you didn't try to jump in her pants on the first 4 dates you might have given her the impression you were after something different than the "other guys". My hope is when guys like you make these "confessionals" women actually learn something about how men are and probe, instead of patronize and attack him for being open and honest...and then wonder why men aren't transparent, when it's typically better that you don't know because if they did like this guy....just let it all hang out, you'd call him a jerk and @sshole...when the reality is a lot of guys do and think just like this, more than you'll ever know. 4
NGC1300 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Sounds to me like she thought you were pretty boring. She kept texting you back to give you the opportunity to stop being so boring, but in the end you didn't pan out. Bummer. Time to change your game, bro.... isn't actually getting laid the point of such games for you d-bag types? I actually commend him for being somewhat scientific and experimenting rather than being a typical male only concerned with sex.
NGC1300 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) double post Edited September 2, 2013 by NGC1300 double post
SillieBillie Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Sounds to me like she really liked you. The fact that you got 'offended' by her saying you probably shouldn't have sex so soon is just silly. And then you held that against her, and turned it into a game? Maybe she cancelled due to being 'tired' because she was highly offended by how you had treated her and you had confused her. Maybe she was waiting for some sort of talk about that. You, and you on your own, started that whole thing. SHE REALLY LIKED YOU. Duh! I don't think she should have held on for so long though, I mean, I hang in there quite a bit when I like someone and they are being difficult (I put it down to personal issues and hope against all odds they aren't really just a jerk)... But she really just should have left it alone- because you were being a jerk. She was probably confused as all hell and very offended. The fact that you got her into bed and then tried to punish her for it makes me think you're a bit of a sexist pig.
FitChick Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 OP must have lots of options to blow off a girl whom he describes as an "8.5 out of 10." He must normally date 10s. 1
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