steveoo Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I saw my ex for the first time and a year and a half? Absolutely BEYOND shocked? Help? Hello. I broke up with my girlfriend about a year and a half ago (March 2012). We dated for a little over 3 years. She said some mean things to me and she seemed more absorbed with her school and work than she did with our relationship. So, I broke it off. I went the no contact route. I still thought a lot about her. The last time we spoke was in October of 2012 after I told her I was having second thoughts. After thinking it over, I decided it was time for us to part ways. I still love her and I still think about her, wondering how she's doing. I saw her yesterday for the first time in a year and a half. We ran into each other at Target. She had just had brain surgery. She apparently has a brain tumor called a "malignant glioma". Her head was shaved and her scar was one of the scariest things I have ever seen. I tried speaking to her but she seems very confused and had word-finding difficulty. I just don't know what to do or say. I still love her but I don't know what to do now with this whole brain cancer thing. How do I treat her? Do you think I should give her a second chance? She seems like a whole new person, much weaker and much more delicate. I am BEYOND shocked and don't know what to do. Help?
BC1980 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I am a nurse, and I can tell you a little about a malignant glioma. It is not curable. She might have a year to live even with treatments, and that is being generous. It is a rapidly growing tumor. She probably does have some neurological deficits, which is why she might have had trouble finding the right words to speak. Deficits could be from the surgery or where the tumor is located. People often have seizures, stroke-like symptoms, and even personality changes. Even if she were to get into a clinical trial at MD Anderson or another hospital, her survival rate does not improve much. I'm telling you this, so you can know the facts before you make any decisions. You need perspective. I don't know what to tell you about a second chance. Know that if you do so, her time is limited. I have seen this type of tumor numerous times, and it usually takes people down pretty fast. She might have seemed "okay" at Target, but it will, sadly, only be a matter of time before she gets worse. I am so very sorry that she has this type of tumor. I am so very sorry for you, her, and her family and friends. The best I can say is to take a few days to get your bearings together before making a decision. You might want to reach out to her and see if she is receptive to seeing you. Just let her take control and do what she wants with it is my suggestion. She needs to be living the rest of the time she has left as happy as possible. The best thing anyone with a malignant glioma can do is to make the best use of the time they have left. Go on a trip they have always wanted to, make peace with anyone they need to, ect. Just try to live life to the fullest. That is the best "treatment" I could tell anyone for this type of tumor. Again, I am very sorry, and I will be sending good thoughts your way. 1
Mariposa10 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I am a nurse, and I can tell you a little about a malignant glioma. It is not curable. She might have a year to live even with treatments, and that is being generous. It is a rapidly growing tumor. She probably does have some neurological deficits, which is why she might have had trouble finding the right words to speak. Deficits could be from the surgery or where the tumor is located. People often have seizures, stroke-like symptoms, and even personality changes. Even if she were to get into a clinical trial at MD Anderson or another hospital, her survival rate does not improve much. I'm telling you this, so you can know the facts before you make any decisions. You need perspective. I don't know what to tell you about a second chance. Know that if you do so, her time is limited. I have seen this type of tumor numerous times, and it usually takes people down pretty fast. She might have seemed "okay" at Target, but it will, sadly, only be a matter of time before she gets worse. I am so very sorry that she has this type of tumor. I am so very sorry for you, her, and her family and friends. The best I can say is to take a few days to get your bearings together before making a decision. You might want to reach out to her and see if she is receptive to seeing you. Just let her take control and do what she wants with it is my suggestion. She needs to be living the rest of the time she has left as happy as possible. The best thing anyone with a malignant glioma can do is to make the best use of the time they have left. Go on a trip they have always wanted to, make peace with anyone they need to, ect. Just try to live life to the fullest. That is the best "treatment" I could tell anyone for this type of tumor. Again, I am very sorry, and I will be sending good thoughts your way. Oh my God... This is soo sad.....
12yearsin Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 This sounds so very scary. Try to be there for her regardless of it is romantic or not.
StyleOnEm Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Watch the filipino movie "Forever and a Day". Get the English subtitles. Very similar to your situation.
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