He told me if I would consider going to couples counseling

[clairedunham]

Last night me and my ex who contacted me spoke on the phone let out all his feelings and told me if I would consider going to couples counseling. I was shocked. Guy who became a jerk and was tugging me back and forth says he still loves me. I told him I should be single for a while and figure things out and he agreed. He says all he wants be to be is happy and wants me to get better. He is also dealing with his own issues in which he needs his space but he told me to meet up with him today. Maybe we will maybe we wont. Let's see what happens.

[melell]

good luck x

[clairedunham]

Im not gonna go

[JDPT]

I'm not certain that you are taking in the advice we have been rendering. Why do you insist in talking to him?

[JDPT]

True. How old are you, OP? If the answer is under 25, unmarried, and been dating less than a year, screw couples counselling, there's plenty more fish in the sea...

 

EDIT: 2 out of 3. Let him go and move on. Go into NC (stop f*cking around on this, I'm serious, you'll only ruin your healing process if you ignore this pivotal step). Spend some time being single, work on you, meet someone else.

 

Speaks the truth.

[JDPT]

Tired of it yet?

 

I thought you would pick up on my subtleness on my first post...

[clairedunham]

Yea I was just talking to him and told him "This is weird and it is making me uncomfortable. You act as if nothing happened" then hung up. He is talking to me like we are peachy. I told him I didn't want to speak to him and hung up

[clairedunham]

You need to block his number or change yours.

 

Dude. Relax. Its not like he abused me or I abused him or we wanted to kill each other. Jesus

[JDPT]

End ALL communications with this guy at once. You keep running head on into a wall hoping to achieve a different outcome. You keep doing this to yourself.

[JDPT]

Dude. Relax. Its not like he abused me or I abused him or we wanted to kill each other. Jesus

 

 

YES you are abusing yourself, you love punishment, you like to remain stagnant. We tell you certain things for a reason. We have all been through it, we are all going through it. Again, you are choosing to inflict this into yourself. Break this vicious cycle, and don't learn that heard way or make it any harder than it already is for YOU.

[clairedunham]

No. I never said I wanted to get over him.

[BigGirlPantiesOn]

Guys, you've given her your advice and insight on what she should do. She has made the decision to act otherwise.

 

Let it go. She will experience the consequences of her choice, for good or bad.

 

Repeating the same thing over and over and expecting her to change her choice IS insanity. Let her do what she's got to do. The outcome will reveal itself.

[clairedunham]

WTF people I love him. I know I need to get help. He didnt do **** to me!

[JDPT]

Hang on tight!

[clairedunham]

Fine. Then tell me Oh Great Ones, what should I do entirely?

[JDPT]

He is non existent. You are not his therapist, let him go find one. Oh did I say he is non existent?

[clairedunham]

No contact. Ignore phone calls/emails/attempts to engage you and focus on yourself and your own stuff.

 

All righty then

[clairedunham]

Another thing is that I dont fully believe him when he tells me he loves me. In fact, I sometimes dont believe him at all

[JDPT]

Another thing is that I dont fully believe him when he tells me he loves me. In fact, I sometimes dont believe him at all

 

Then that's more of a reason. You have your doubts for a reason. He wants comfort and you are comfortable for him. Don't allow him to feel comfortable at your expense. Worry about your comfort level not his.

[clairedunham]

Then that's more of a reason. You have your doubts for a reason. He wants comfort and you are comfortable for him. Don't allow him to feel comfortable at your expense. Worry about your comfort level not his.

 

Why do you think I hung up today? He calls me and acts all gooey and lovey dovey and Im like :/ wut? ... I guess during the almost 2 weeks of break up I suffered a lot and had enough of it. I've been suffering for months. And today he was going to ditch me again to go meet me and talk about the r/s. I didnt say anything and I felt like Im not gonan take this anymore.

[JDPT]

Next time, don't answer the phone.

 

Exactly, I would go as far as blocking his number, the end.

[clairedunham]

Exactly, I would go as far as blocking his number, the end.

 

Being honest, I'm afraid Ill lose him but I have to lose him to learn and mature. I cant live like that because things wont change. And I dont mean the problems I mean my perception of life. Id rather have my freedom

[JDPT]

Being honest, I'm afraid Ill lose him but I have to lose him to learn and mature. I cant live like that because things wont change. And I dont mean the problems I mean my perception of life. Id rather have my freedom

 

When my ex dumped me roughly 4 months or so ago, we had our last conversation over the phone and then she went full force NC. I never pleaded, I never begged, I never cried to her although I did try to talk some "sense" into her and half heartedly attempted to win her back. In retrospect I can subliminally thank her for committing to NC and perhaps being a step ahead of me and understanding that it was best this way. Usually someone needs to make this decision and she made it. What I'm trying to say is that keeping in contact with your ex is detrimental to your being in every aspect. It will leave you stagnant, there is no room for growth or progress you will only end up running in place for a very long time. Enough is enough, move forward with your life and break this vicious cycle. Focus on your recovery as you are the only one that matters here. Make a change for yourself towards the positive, learn from this experience and grow as a person.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

This is pretty much a lost cause at this point. If you don't want to listen to advice and argue with other posters, why post? Seems like a diary might serve you better.