Lipitor11 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I will never understand what kind of things go through a guys mind! After a month of dating, why would a guy tell a girl a relationship isn't in the cards at the moment? Do guys really go through some mid-life crisis that makes them NOT want to be in a relationship? Money, career, new job, etc, etc??? I always, assume if a guy was really into a girl, he wouldn't deny her no matter what! Makes no sense. 1
Woggle Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Sometimes he wants female company and or sex but doesn't want commitment. 3
snowflakes88 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Your question assumes the guy is really into you. He may not be. 1
candie13 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 you're not in a relationship after one month, you barely know his middle name by that time. revise your expectations or the dating world is gonna be one disappointment after another. 1
sigurpol Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Probably because a relationship isn't his top priority. No reason to read between the lines. 5
truth_seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I will never understand what kind of things go through a guys mind! After a month of dating, why would a guy tell a girl a relationship isn't in the cards at the moment? Do guys really go through some mid-life crisis that makes them NOT want to be in a relationship? Money, career, new job, etc, etc??? I always, assume if a guy was really into a girl, he wouldn't deny her no matter what! Makes no sense. He wants you as an option - fwb, nsa. 1
dj572 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Sometimes he wants female company and or sex but doesn't want commitment. Woggle nailed it in my opinion. 1
writergal Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 That's guy-speak for: "I don't want a relationship with you but I'll still have sex with you if you let me." Men (and women) do this to each other all the time. Dating games. Life would be much easier if men and women could just tell the truth to each other. 1
Trimmer Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I always, assume if a guy was really into a girl, he wouldn't deny her no matter what! Makes no sense. So if that's the case, then you need to reexamine your assumption, don't you? Suddenly it will make sense.
Versacehottie Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Probably because a relationship isn't his top priority. No reason to read between the lines. Because it just simply isn't. There are many people like this at various points in their lives for various reasons...some they can't even pinpoint exactly. Both men and women--though men seem to fall in the majority. I would say the top reasons are not being where they want in their career or very involved in it so as to not want anything else to take away from it; still into going out with friends and partying; or recovering from heartbreak--even though it may seem like enough time has passed, sometimes they are traumatized to the point of not wanting or being ready to take a chance yet. And of course some people will use that as an excuse when you are just not the one for them...however, don't give that one too much attention...why should you believe that you are not enough when it will just hurt your self esteem. Believe them and keep it moving. If and when they are ready, they will come around. The best strategy is to keep living your life without pinning your future on someone who gives you this reason. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a guy become "READY" when someone who he has feelings for but has convinced himself "a relationship is not his priority" genuinely moves forward in her life. But less as a tactic for getting what you want, you just have to take them at their word, it's the only thing for you to do in order to get what you want.
Maleficent Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I will never understand what kind of things go through a guys mind! After a month of dating, why would a guy tell a girl a relationship isn't in the cards at the moment? Do guys really go through some mid-life crisis that makes them NOT want to be in a relationship? Money, career, new job, etc, etc??? I always, assume if a guy was really into a girl, he wouldn't deny her no matter what! Makes no sense. He isn't interested and doesn't have the balls to just say it.
Dolphono Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 A month. Seriously? Can we at least get to 6 mos of dating/courting before a "relationship" can even become a thought?. A guy will tell a girl that when he has "priorities" before the girl came along. Why do girls think because a guy is dating them, they must become the center piece of his existence? Fallback, relax, let the relationship and you getting bumped up on a guys priority list, happen in due time.
crude Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Maybe it's just that a relationship isn't his top priority. Haven't you ever been busy, maybe going to school, caring for a sick parent, and going out with a person who was unknown to you a month ago, and the dates are just a diversion, you have greater priorities?
Kizza Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 He is saying a relationship with you is not his top priority. He will still have sex with you though because you are good enough for that until someone he does consider his relationship material comes along in which case you become a place holder. So therefore I think the best response to his statement is... "Being a place-holder is not my top priority so adios"
crederer Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 It means he wants a relationship, just not with you.
thefooloftheyear Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) I will never understand what kind of things go through a guys mind! After a month of dating, why would a guy tell a girl a relationship isn't in the cards at the moment? Do guys really go through some mid-life crisis that makes them NOT want to be in a relationship? Money, career, new job, etc, etc??? I always, assume if a guy was really into a girl, he wouldn't deny her no matter what! Makes no sense. First question is have you had sex with him? Give the guy some credit for being honest with you about it..He could just as easily lied and strung you along for months or?..Most women think that all relationships have to be a "head over heels. sweep me off my feet" scenario...Not always the case. Maybe there are more pressing things going on..He may be divorced and have kids to care for, he may be down on cash or unemployed, he may be dealing with any number of scenario's where a relaionship might be difficult...Or he just flat out may not want all that comes with it. He could just as easily be into you or maybe he isnt. You know what he wants, if it doesnt align with what you want then move on...Plain and simple...Or sit down and discuss it with him..Maybe its a workable scenario... TFY Edited September 2, 2013 by thefooloftheyear
Versacehottie Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You know what he wants, if it doesnt align with what you want then move on...Plain and simple... TFY That's the important part. If he is setting parameters on what your relationship can be at this point, DECIDE if it works for you or not or how it could. For example, if a relationship is not a priority for him but you like him enough to keep seeing him and are able to go at that pace, then choose to do that. It's a good chance for YOU to date several people until you want to be with one exclusively. Also decide HOW it works for you. For example, if it is casually seeing one another, like hanging out, well put your own parameters on it....maybe for you that means you would not be sleeping with him at this stage. He is telling you what he has to offer--it's up to you to decide what you want to do with and how to handle that information. All is not lost. I would suggest, if you think he's a good person for real, continue to see him AT A LOW PRIORITY.
madjac74 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 As a guy with kids, no relationship will ever be my top priority. And if a girl expected that after only a month of dating then I would get rid of her quickly. It may be possible after only a month of dating that he just isn't sure if he wants to make this "relationship" a priority. He may be into you but maybe he isn't ready to make a commitment that will change both your lifestyles for the long term. I think there should be more people like that. There would probably be less divorce and crime. 1
AHaze Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I always, assume if a guy was really into a girl, he wouldn't deny her no matter what! That's your problem... you assume WRONG. It's the forever-alone-desperado fat guys, virgin nerds and Mr Nice Guys who don't reject women, most because they're never in a position to reject them anyway. The rest us of are just normal human beings with actual reasons why we can't be in a relationship at that moment in time... For example last year I fell into a severe deep depression after a break up, right now I'm healed with a spring in my step and life is looking good, the last thing I want is to risk it for another girl to send me back down to the bottom of the bottle I just spent a painful year crawling out of.
Sanman Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) I agree with what most here are saying about his words meaning he is likely not that interested. However, to answer the original question, I do not think that if the right girl comes along a man just drops everything. My career was my priority for a long time. I met and dated women, but I knew that as long as my career was not settled I really was not interested in a serious relationship. As I was nearing the end of school and career advancement, I met my current gf and I was ready to settle down, so we got serious. Men continue to carry the financial burden in many relationships, this makes out priorities different from women at times. The truth is that if my gf had not waited me out, I would still likely remain single for a few years, make money and enjoy myself. My status, financially, is rising quickly now. Edited September 2, 2013 by Sanman
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