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I just don't want to date or have a relationship or get married anymore


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Posted

I'm a 28 year old male (straight). I've have three long term relationships that I decided to end for various reasons. A few dates with various people and two unrequited love scenarios. My last unrequited love scenario happened about 6-8 months ago and it caused me to lose 15 pounds (not through exercise lol) and experienced many sleepless nights. I still think about her occasionally but I'm in the no-contact mode.

 

I moved to a new city recently and I realized that life is so exciting and wonderful without going through this costly & distracting dating/mating cycle. I mean sure, there weren't that many things to do when we were cavemen so why not have some kids. However, I'm very excited about my career and there are many things I want to accomplish. I also have tons of hobbies in sports and music.

I'm only saying this because I feel like love/relationship is such a distraction to all these things which actually contributes to society and my self-development. I hate all the drama/arguments/phone calls/ broken hearts to go with relationships. I'm not really into casual dating either. So I'm perfectly content with just living by myself and I don't feel lonely at all.

My Asian parents however think that one cannot be happy living alone all their life. They're worried that I will miss the optimal timing window for meeting a good wife.

Posted

They may be rite. There is such a thing as an optimal window for meeting a wife and having kids. Ideally one's children will get a chance to know their grandparents, yet their parents will have established themselves a bit before having kids.

 

 

So about age 25 to age 45 is the optimal age for having kids. That way grandma an grandpa are between say 50 and 70 when the grandchildren are born and on earth for 50 to 30 years or so with the grandkids. That gives a family a sense of continuity and history that is missing when a child does not know their grandparents.

 

 

Source: I was born after all my grandparents died and I have vowed that if I can't have kids know their grandparents with a least one of those grandparents being on my side then I won't have kids.

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Posted

I told myself this a bunch of times until I met a new lady that I was crazy about. It was a form of denial i think.

Posted
They may be rite. There is such a thing as an optimal window for meeting a wife and having kids. Ideally one's children will get a chance to know their grandparents, yet their parents will have established themselves a bit before having kids.

 

 

So about age 25 to age 45 is the optimal age for having kids. That way grandma an grandpa are between say 50 and 70 when the grandchildren are born and on earth for 50 to 30 years or so with the grandkids. That gives a family a sense of continuity and history that is missing when a child does not know their grandparents.

 

 

Source: I was born after all my grandparents died and I have vowed that if I can't have kids know their grandparents with a least one of those grandparents being on my side then I won't have kids.

25 to 45? Only if you are a rich man. Most of us age out before that...

Theres a good chance that if you are single and never married by 45, you are too set in your ways for marriage.

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Posted

I think what my folks meant by optimal window is that there's a window when the other good single girls are still available within your age group. The pool sort of shrinks as you get older. I mean you can't really date a 21 year old when you are 35..... unless if you're Rupert Murdoch or something

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Posted
I told myself this a bunch of times until I met a new lady that I was crazy about. It was a form of denial i think.

 

That's really cool. Good for you! Was it by chance?

 

I mean I just don't feel the need/motivation to go out and search. I feel happy enough just going out camping with bunch of friends (guys & girls).

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