ebor Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) I desperately need ideas and similar stories I will probably sound bitter but this is anonymous so, Met on a blind double date (my first date ever I am 22) Didn't want her at all ( Got kicked out of school, not very bright, couldn't talk of ideas, can't talk straight forward....... ) Not my type and i knew i was not her type (not macho man), She said she's very excited and My friend begged me to give it a shot, I asked advice online and I stupidly did. I noticed right away she had a very low self esteem cuz of her looks, IDC about her looks i always wanted a girl who took care of herself well and she did, the problem was I knew if I ever liked her she would think she's better than me. I am above average looking, have high social status, Engineering student in the top school in our country, smart , funny, sociable, just so that it doesn't sound biased I don't dress well and I am too sensitive....started dating and I absolutely gave it my all, called everyday, arranged dates without waiting for her to ask, the inevitable and the thing I feared happened. I KNOW from basic psychology what I did made me look desperate, clingy and cheap... my friend told me stop being like this.. I said I wanted a girl who knows she deserves to be treated like this ( I still stand by this statement), inevitable happened, first she complained about feeling inadequate and I showered her with complements told her I liked her and she was on cloud nine, then she said she was not sure if she can do better than me or not. She said I don't know if I really can but I have to try .....Boom......I knew it..... I know she's not special, She doesn't understand movies, can't read any book past 10 pages, doesn't try new things( I tried convincing her for 2 hrs), Complains a lot, Blames me for simple stuff, it goes on..... Yet I still feel bad and want to call her and beg.... even though I know I can do better.....much much better...... the only good things about her is high social class and good housekeeping and cooking..... I never cared about both before I met her... But It still hurts so bad... But....But....but.. Why...Why....Why Edited September 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Did the best I could do making it readable
StanMusial Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Post is a little confusing... the girl you described doesn't sound like "high social class" but maybe where you're from she is. Honestly, it sounds like you don't have a mental connection. Maybe she's pretty and you like her for that, and you're inexperienced in relationships so you naturally might struggle a bit. If you're smart and educated you might want someone with the same traits.
Author ebor Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Social class is just code for rich in our country, I do.... I do really want a girl with the same traits.... but do you know how hard it's to even find an open minded guy let alone a girl in a 3rd world country ... She's not pretty and I don't care about that, my requirement is '' take her of herself and not repulsive '' I just can't control my adrenalin, it's been three days and I still can't sleep.... If I have the chance now I am sure i won't go back but I still can't move on (I know it's just three days)
todreaminblue Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 ... She's not pretty and I don't care about that, my requirement is '' take her of herself and not repulsive '' I just can't control my adrenalin, it's been three days and I still can't sleep.... if a boyfriend were going to describe me to someone and said she is "not pretty but i dont find her repulsive and she cleans herself regularly".......i wouldnt want to be with that guy, maybe she senses how you really feel about her...... i think you should be with a woman who you do find pretty who ticks the box of really has your heart....not just because she isnt repulsive to you...that is so negative a statement to make on requirements of a partner for you that you are happy she doesnt repulse you...thats good enough for you....... you need to move on and find someone you are truly attracted to..even if it takes years...when you date someone you arent really attracted to or feel passion for they can feel it...and most of the time it doesnt work.......i prefer to date guys i am not really attracted to because then i am in control of my emotions no high emotions no low emotions around the middle where i dont really care.....but i am never mean nor would i make a post saying i dont find them repulsive...i always have strong feelings of friendship with these guys i have dated in the past....i find them good looking....but then i have not met anyone who didnt have their own charm looking a bti deeper than the pyhsical........doesnt make it fair though, that i am not being true to myself or to them.....now back to you...... how would you feel if she said that about you would you want to be with her...fi she didnt find you attractive and you are just above the repulsion line.........let her go...find someone who you do find attractive.........deb .
Divasu Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Didn't want her at all Not my type I know she's not special She's not pretty Sounds like you really like her. 4
Author ebor Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 @todreaminblue Thanks for the ideas, I know it sounds rude, what I meant to say was that what I am feeling Is not because she is extremely beautiful or It's not just lust ..... I did find her attractive and I let her know every chance I have got (maybe too many times) and I find almost every girl attractive if she takes care of herself (I dont demand she have 20 inch waist and 40 inch *ss) and once I make a meaningful connection with them I believe I will find them irresistible and I do believe that's how it's meant to be that's why every guy should and would believe his wife is the sexiest prettiest and most beautiful. My question is why do I feel like this knowing the facts?
StanMusial Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Maybe you're mistaking the desperation in your heart for something else. She doesn't sound appealing at all.
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