FailedFirstLove Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I got into a relationship with a really nice but sensitive guy three months ago. We've known each other for a few years but barely talked then. Everything was going so well and we didnt fight at all. The past couple weeks we have had problems. Mostly from me because I was insecure. I say things when I'm angry that I don't mean and tried to break it off with him. I get irritated easily as well. I think something might be wrong with my hormones. He got very angry at me and said he was coming to Drop my wii off. And I thought I would meet him at station but he got More angry because I wasnt there and didnt listen to him when he said his coming. I went to his place and waited outside for hours. He never came down. Then a guy let me into the building and I knocked on his door he owned it still angry but said talk. And I didnt know what to say. I just cried alot. In the end he grabbed me and held me while I cried. He said he will take me back but I needed to learn from my mistake and not say things like that again. I was determined not to. I tried researching and asking for Help and I would tell him about it. He wud tell me to move on from It but not repeat it. We never really got to talk about the problems because he was watching tv and he would be annoyed. He said he would forgive me but not forget. The next weekend he was out with friends. I barely texted him but on the third day I was abit upset because I was asking him what time I could pick him up and he didnt know. So I told him to tell me honestly if he doesnt want mw to. And he was upset and was saying he was completely honest. After that he said he can't keep texting cause his with his friends. And I went to bed. Next day I was kinda waiting for him. And I was so bored. So I texted him alot. He kept replying so I assumed it was ok. At the end he was irritated and Asos his going home himself. and I was worried so I kept asking what's wrong. He said his tired. Bloated and just wants to shower. But I was worried so I asked. And he just got so angry at me and told me to leave him alone and I don't listen that he would talk to me after. He broke up with me last night and said his mind was made. He doesnt usually get angry but He sounded really angry and at moments when I try to explain misunderstandings he would sound like he was listening but then he would get angry again because he said I wasn't listening to him. He didnt call to reconcile but called to break it off and tell me why. I asked why we couldn't try solve it and he kept saying he told me why and to leave him alone. then at the end he said. I told you to leave me alone again and you wont. Your just showing me you don't listen or learn. Can I prove to him that I will listen? I won't contact him like his asked. Will that prove it? Ill also go to the doctors and counsellor and everything I can to get help. I love him so much and he told me he loves me. We've being having trouble at the beginning because he had problems in bed. And it's both our first. I've always supported him. He thinks it might be testosterone problems but he didnt have time to get checked.
todreaminblue Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 when you cling to a guy.....the majority dont like it...they dont want to constantly have to reassure you over a hundred text messages......that everything is ok....or entertain you because you are bored........ when a guy is with hsi friends let him have fun and unwind...dont text or call because you are bored or insecure...i know insecurity.......but i have never texted a guy that much he has ever got angry with me........ if you feel insecure get out from where you are...... go to a friends place........go to the library, read a book, listen to music watch a movie go for a walk...hundreds of things you can do...call someone you havent talked to in a while find something to do that makes you feel good..... yes you shouldnt text him at all....not a one..... and go see a counsellor or join a group...not to get him back...just for you to feel good.....he might not come back.....but you will feel a whole lot better than you do now........best wishes...deb
Author FailedFirstLove Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) Is it really too late to prove to him? He never gve me a proper second chance... I was wanting to talk to him properly and work it out. I'm really scared. I don't want to lose him. I early love him and if he loves me would be come back? When he said ur just showing me your not listening or learning does it mean he wants me to do just that? my friend told me guys don't really think about the pain much. They can distract themselves. will he miss me? I'm so worried and I don't know what to do I just want him to hold me again after a couple weeks would it e okay if I went and talked to him? was it just from anger that he did that... He never really have me a second chance cause he said he was thinking deeply Edited September 1, 2013 by FailedFirstLove
todreaminblue Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) Is it really too late to prove to him? He never gve me a proper second chance... I was wanting to talk to him properly and work it out. I'm really scared. I don't want to lose him. I early love him and if he loves me would be come back? When he said ur just showing me your not listening or learning does it mean he wants me to do just that? my friend told me guys don't really think about the pain much. They can distract themselves. will he miss me? I'm so worried and I don't know what to do I just want him to hold me again i feel for you i really do, makes me a little sad to read what you write........but this is your chance........a chance to feel good about yourself.....and if he does come back which he might( but i dont know the guy so i cant tell you he will for sure) you are going to feel good and have strategies to help you deal with insecurity... heres some advice and what works for me i write my thoughts down its one of my strategies.....and when i read them they seem so silly, i hit delete or throw them away....its a way for me to get them out of my head without messing with anyone elses head...which is what happens when you put your insecurity on another persons mind...so my insecurities remain private to me, all mine private insecurities and worries......i am not hurting anyone to do this....also then, i dont look like a total headcase(we all can be you know), to people i care about...this is a strategy i learnt in therapy....because i am actually a writer ...it actually helps me to write...funny that... find what way is good for you to handle you in the every day...therapy will help...and if that guy comes back...it will be different this time....another form of therapy that is perfect for me....is helping others cant deal with my own crap so i get out of my crap fro a while and see if i can help soemone else deal witht theirs until i am ready to face mine....this strategy i was taught is to redirect negative into positive...........its why i come here and why i am writing to you....;0)..best wishes.,.....huge hugs to ya.....deb Edited September 1, 2013 by todreaminblue
Author FailedFirstLove Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Thankyou for writting back. It's really helping me to just talk to someone. I have a problem that talking helps alot but I can't keep relying on people to help me. I get lonely very easily and he was trying to write back to me. But he never told me it was making him angry or I would have stopped. how long would it take for him to cool down... He has his own insecurities too and I know his too scared to get hurt like he was with the ex. I just want to know that he will be willing for me to prove it to him. It sounded like he wanted me to by listening to him and leaving him alone... But why did he break it off with me. I just want to go over to him and try talk to him. But that won't work and prpbbaly push him further. I just want a plan. Of what I should do and when it's okay to maye try contact him I don't to eat or sleep I'm just worried and it's all I'm thinking about. Its really affecting everything because I don't want to do anything
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