napy666 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I was just thinking if your a guy or a girl and your in a relationship, engaged, or married and either of you watch porn - whether it'd be while your partner is out at work and your at home or late at night and one of you is asleep. Isn't this wrong of you? Like if I was married and my man was watching porn I would think that I was not good enough for him because he would rather watch porn picturing that girl in the film over me. What are your thoughts on this?
SensitiveTJ Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I was just thinking if your a guy or a girl and your in a relationship, engaged, or married and either of you watch porn - whether it'd be while your partner is out at work and your at home or late at night and one of you is asleep. Isn't this wrong of you? Like if I was married and my man was watching porn I would think that I was not good enough for him because he would rather watch porn picturing that girl in the film over me. What are your thoughts on this? I agree that porn is typically a negative influence in life and relationships, but there's a big assumption in your post. I don't think using porn necessarily indicates that the user finds some fault in their partner. You don't know for a fact that your man watches porn because he doesn't find you attractive, or finds a girl in the porn more attractive than you. Unless you are certain of that fact, it's premature to jump to your conclusion.
darkmoon Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 porn is no big deal, unless you are insecure, the poster needs a cuddle or compliment, or both, srs
MrCastle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 The only negative I see in porn is the body image situation. I don't know how men or women who watch a considerable amount of porn don't walk away feeling bad about their bodies over time. Unless you stick to the amateur stuff (which I do for the most part) But I don't see how porn can destroy a relationship. If porn is destroying your relationship with real life individuals you're sleeping with, you have to really look at your priorities.
ja123 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I'm a woman and I watch porn. It'd be really no big deal, if my man watched it. Honestly, I'd find it a turn on. If he didn't watch it, I'd think he was too prudish and I don't think I'd be with him anyway. 1
todreaminblue Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Agree with the other posters, porn is a negative influence,i never felt not good enough if a partner watched porn.........but while you are watchign it....you arent really in the moment at all, your eyes are glued to somebody pistoning someone else, i think its better to turn it off and get to it....also could spend th emoney that is spent on porn over the years on a holiday... the music is often cheesy especially when they put it in time with a guy pumping away on a some actress going ahhhhha ahhhhhh oooooh.....bow chica wow wow.......with that i am off.....deb 1
StanMusial Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 My ex gf's parents almost split up when she caught him looking at porn. They went to counselling over it.
TigerCub Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 The way I see it, nothing wrong with watching porn, but if it gets to the point where more energy is spent on porn than the sex life in the relationship then it is a deal breaker. 1
Archanaart Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 why not watch it with your significant other? I find that can be a turn on 1
crederer Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) In all seriousness though, no, it wouldn't bother me at all. One of my ex's didn't like porn because she thought it was degrading to women. I said "I think that's the allure" and also, she personally liked being degraded in bed so.....i dunno what that was all about. Edited September 2, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I was just thinking if your a guy or a girl and your in a relationship, engaged, or married and either of you watch porn - whether it'd be while your partner is out at work and your at home or late at night and one of you is asleep. Isn't this wrong of you? Like if I was married and my man was watching porn I would think that I was not good enough for him because he would rather watch porn picturing that girl in the film over me. What are your thoughts on this? If you are gullible enough to draw that conclusion about porn actors and actresses, why aren't you drawing the same conclusions about the neighbors, the hairdressers, and the other people on the subway car? Don't use porn to disguise your own insecurities.
mea_M Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with it unless it takes away from intimacy with your partner. For instance, one is more interested with self gratification and often denys their partner due to that. Porn can can add some fun to a relationship. Mea
man_in_the_box Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Even if I was dating a supermodel I would've still find porn interesting.
skydiveaddict Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Even if I was dating a supermodel I would've still find porn interesting. Be careful my friend, that **** will poison your soul.
man_in_the_box Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Actually within two weeks ill be going on an internship to a country where afaik porn is blocked and I'm not planning to take anything with me. It'll be a good start to give up porn. I'm just reflecting on the OP that my interest for porn hasn't got much to do with 'how good' my partner is.
JamesM Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 IF it takes away from the marriage or relationship, then yes....it is a problem. However, if it actually fills a need or void in the marriage or relationship that cannot be corrected, then it may actually be the thing that makes the marriage survive. The lack of sex is a major frustration, and sometimes using porn can relieve that frustration. Admittedly, it has been a help to me at times for the above reason.
GorillaTheater Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 IF it takes away from the marriage or relationship, then yes....it is a problem. However, if it actually fills a need or void in the marriage or relationship that cannot be corrected, then it may actually be the thing that makes the marriage survive. The lack of sex is a major frustration, and sometimes using porn can relieve that frustration. Admittedly, it has been a help to me at times for the above reason. You have my best wishes that the situation has improved, James, and it's good to see you around. 1
Lansing Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I think a lot of guys are addicted to porn without even realizing it. It is only when you try to give it up that you realize it. Growing up, my exposure to porn was maybe sneaking a peak at a magazine at the store (I remember when a store clerk caught me when I was like 13 or 14, ha). Then, getting older you saw some stuff on tv, and then maybe someone had a video and then maybe someone had access to satelitte. With the internet first it was just naked still pictures,well now it is everywhere. And it isn't like you need to pay for it either so it takes away the embarrassment factor. I have gone cold turkey on porn and I feel better off not looking at it. I failed a few times before when I tried but I feel like now I am really at the point where I don't care to see it. I have no desire to seek it out anymore. Having said all of that, if I had a gf who broke up with me because she caught me looking at naked photos/video then I would be pissed at her for not making any effort and just giving up on the relationship so easily and judging me based on it. I would at least expect a GF to try to work with me to see what I truly wanted, the reasons why I was looking at it, etc.
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 (edited) I'm a girl and I've watched porn since I was about 11 years old. I don't care if a partner I'm with watches porn because I personally watch at least once a day (if I have a computer nearby). One thing I don't like though is watching together. I like to watch porn alone because porn for me is something you do alone and don't share with a partner. When I'm with a partner, I like it being about me and him. I like watching porn because I like to look at others and the fantasy of that. At the end of the day everyone is attracted to other people and most people like watching other people have sex, whether you are single or in a relationship. It's pointless to care about it because it's human nature, unless your partner has a very low sex drive or other reasons for not watching porn. I watch porn for me and I expect my partner watches porn for him. We don't need to talk about or discuss it. Interestingly my current boyfriend doesn't like me watching porn. He gets jealous of it. So I don't tell him I watch it. It's an interesting reversal and yet 2 out of my 3 boyfriends have not liked me watching porn. I think if you watch it, watch it, but be respectful if your partner doesn't like it and don't talk about it with them or leave videos up on your pc and stuff like that. Porn is no big deal. I have my fun and then forget about it...til the next time. As people mentioned, porn is a problem if it effects your relationship or sex life i.e. you can't climax in real life, get aroused by your partner or share what you like. It's also a problem if you judge your partner based on what you see in videos etc etc. Edited September 4, 2013 by Nikki Sahagin 1
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Also, was just thinking, porn never makes me feel bad about myself. I'm not really a jealous person. I'm quite secure in my own sexuality and appearance. I can acknowledge an attractive woman and not feel threatened by her. After all, if your partner wants that woman, they can have her. If you want another man, you can leave and go get him. Otherwise it's just a little window shopping I WOULD however be jealous of strip clubs etc as that's a whole other level to me. I see it as disrespectful. I would almost rather a bf cheat than go a strip club! I'm a weirdo...
Keenly Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Porn is only bad if you already have self esteem and body image issues. The whole " I don't feel good enough" thing is garbage. I would yell, and I never yell, " WOMAN , HOW DO YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, I MARRIED YOU "
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