road Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 We don't meet that often, once in one or two months. He is in different company that partners with company that I work for. It can happen anywhere. And he used to talk about changing jobs, may be he will. I am certain I don't have to. You certainly don't know what you are talking about. You are certainly guaranteeing that you will not have NC with the OM. Yet you are uncertain about why recovery with your BH has stalled. Your marriage and BH are less important to you then your job. How sad. Well being that the marriage and BH are not 1# to you all I can say is if your job was that important then you should of protected it by not banging someone through your job. Time to find a new job. To continue contact with the OM is continuing the affair.
BeholdtheMan Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 (edited) he never say he loves me or makes me feel special and we haven't had sex for a really long timeDo you really have such a strong sense of entitlement? You're the one who cheated. You should be making him feel special, not the other way around. Of course his behaviour toward you will be colder compared to before...you betrayed his trust for another man. Put yourself in his shoes. You have to work your a** off to win back his trust. It's called atonement. Instead, you're complaining online about how he doesn't make you feel special, really? I do feel a lot of times that I should have kept quite. Telling is not helping me with anything.Selfish selfish selfish... Edited September 4, 2013 by BeholdtheMan 1
AlwaysGrowing Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I am concerned that if all this continues then I may stop putting anymore effort and may end up being with OM, and this time not expecting any commitments from him. Affair has changed something in me. OM is not trying to connect with me because of all the fights and noise it created but H's behaviour is making me long for all the love I can get from him. Sometimes the marriage should not be saved. However, that does not mean that you should consider an affair! If your marriage can not be saved...so be it. You should not be even entertaining starting up the affair. There is...you know....mm bs to think about..not to mention a child. I don't get why, if your marriage isn't working, why does the affair sound good? Why not....ummm..idk...divorce. And idk......date a SINGLE MAN
Chi townD Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Have you even considered that your husband is having a hard time reconnecting to you because he knows that you have contact (even professionally) with the OM? He knows that there's a strong possibility that you and the OM will run into each other. Heck, you can tell him that you're not seeing or talking to the OM. He has no reason to believe you, so why bother trying? It's like he's living his life waiting for the other shoe to drop. I speculate that he doesn't trust you. And, given your dishonesty in the past, he has reason not to.
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