dashfinn Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Hi, I need your help on this. I've been seeing a great girl for 4 times now. We met through recommendation made by our mutual friends. We are both around 30, I'm one year over, she's turning next year. It's been a while since I've gone on dates. I've kind of forgot how this thing went. So here's the thing. She likes me and is interested, but doesn't seem to be initiate any touch or respond to my casual touching much. I really want to kiss her, but now I'm getting mixed signals from her, this feel of distance, and it makes me wonder if she's willing to go in that direction. It might be that she is shy. Yes I know, I could be a superhero confident man, grow a pair and just grab her to kiss her and so on and I will, but I also want it to be natural and I don't want to force the kiss. I won't do it just out of the blue. I also want to feel some reciprocation from her side. Internet says I shouldn't say that I want to kiss her but I'm getting really close to doing that because things are progressing a bit slow. That might not be a bad thing completely. Would it be so bad to say it to her it out loud? As in: "I really want to kiss you." I don't want to feel me just as a friend, I am very much physically interested in her and possibly starting a relationship with her. She feels like a very special girl to me. Do you any tips on what should I do in this situation?
HappyLove Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Four dates and you haven't kissed her? She's probably thinking you're the one who wants to be friends. Just plan something romantic go on a romantic walk and when the opportunity comes kiss her. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who takes charge and kisses you when the time is right. You could go the route of, I really want to kiss you, but that's kind of boring. Some things you just gotta do. If she's offended you apologize and move on to someone who's into you romantically.
todreaminblue Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 asking her might not be a bad idea...guys have asked me because i am not oen to invade personal space touching brushing up against them(even dates) is not a signal i normally give......because when i like someone , i am more aware of their personal space......and i am not a flirt......only one guy i know has gone for the unexpected kiss, but he was extremely close to me at the time and it was new years eve our first kiss right on midnight...with many many more kisses to follow........lol......once i realized he did actually like me that is, he was the only guy ever that had not asked to kiss me........you could wait until new years...or you could just ask her soon...i wish you well.....happy kissin...deb
Author dashfinn Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 "Four dates and you haven't kissed her?" Yes. The first two times we met, I went through I felt about her. I had zero expectation on this, but feeling good about her grew slowly on me. I don't really believe in absolute dating rules - things that should happen on 1st date, on the 2nd date and so on. "She's probably thinking you're the one who wants to be friends." Maybe. Unless I'll say it out loud that I don't. And then act by it. "As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who takes charge and kisses you when the time is right." Here I will admit being a bit lost. The timing seems never to be right. As we are walking side by side, and she's talking, should I stop her, take her by her hand and just kiss her? Or when she is talking about books at her place on her bed, I should just gaze in to her eyes and just go for it? I don't if I'm weird but that seems too 0-100 hundred to me. Shouldn't the kiss feel right and special for me too? "You could go the route of, I really want to kiss you, but that's kind of boring." Why this is boring? What in that makes it boring? "or you could just ask her soon..." We saw each other today. Part of me wants to go see her tomorrow when she comes from work to the city and take her somewhere and just kiss her. I now want to kiss her. And no, I don't want to give it a couple of days.
ebor Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Damn....you sound just like me ..... I told her I am going to kiss her then kissed her later that night... She said do u ask before you kiss? ...... I think you just dont want to offend her and want to give her a heads up .....If it's any use I just broke up so based on this you should probably kiss her straight away ... what!s the worst that could happen ...eh!
HappyLove Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 It's boring because its romantic when a man just takes charge and kisses you, it's a nice surprise. When you say oh hey by the way I'm gonna kiss you it takes the romance and surprise out of it. Just go on a romantic stroll and plant one on her maybe hold her hand first if she pulls her hand away she definitely won't be into kissing you. You don't have to slobber her maybe a sweet quick peck on the lips to see how comfortable she feels.
Author dashfinn Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Okay romantics, I think you are in the right track on this one, that I have to take charge. I feel that way because this girl seems to like surprises and the guy taking charge. The latest example: This morning at 5.30 am, I said sent a text to her to arrange a meeting after work and before I go to play guitar with my band. She goes early for work, so I wanted to sent the text at first dawn and get this arranged right away. I've never met her two days in a row, but now I wanted to change things a bit for us and see her twice in shorter time. It felt right for me, so I went with it. Lo and behold, she got excited and gladly agreed to see today as I planned. She opened in her texts a bit more and showed a bit of her girly, playful side. So the signs now show that she is not the one to initiate but that she really enjoys it when I do. I've got the butterflies, but I'm starting to enjoy feeling them as well. This is a very special time in a possible relationship, and it can feel good to us, too. Feeling good.
HappyLove Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Okay romantics, I think you are in the right track on this one, that I have to take charge. I feel that way because this girl seems to like surprises and the guy taking charge. The latest example: This morning at 5.30 am, I said sent a text to her to arrange a meeting after work and before I go to play guitar with my band. She goes early for work, so I wanted to sent the text at first dawn and get this arranged right away. I've never met her two days in a row, but now I wanted to change things a bit for us and see her twice in shorter time. It felt right for me, so I went with it. Lo and behold, she got excited and gladly agreed to see today as I planned. She opened in her texts a bit more and showed a bit of her girly, playful side. So the signs now show that she is not the one to initiate but that she really enjoys it when I do. I've got the butterflies, but I'm starting to enjoy feeling them as well. This is a very special time in a possible relationship, and it can feel good to us, too. Feeling good. Awww, that's really nice! Good luck!
Recommended Posts