Giving back things from a ldr

[saltyfishhead666]

So myself and my fiancé broke up a week ago. It's been a week of silence. I won't bore people with the long story only basics.

 

He is 40 I'm 25 he was married for 14 years and had 2 daughters (8 and 12) I have a son and a daughter (1 and 5)

 

He's a soldier in the British army and when we began to get together he lived 20 minutes away. He now lives 3 hours away.

 

Basically the break up was over his ex. They still had a joint bank account even though he was engaged to me and she's engaged to someone else. I queried it and was told she had no access and didnt use it but stated he would close it when he got change. (She did have access as she increased his over draft for him)

 

Anyways a month later I asked if anything had been done about it yet and he went quiet (fishing) to prevent an arguement. When he got home he emailed me stating he didn't think we could come back from this and a few other bits and we've not spoken since.

 

Now most that have ldr leave things at the others so when they visit they don't have to take as much with them. I have jeans, tops, dresses, shoes, make up, entire wash kit, towel ect there.

 

I don't NEED it back, it's just stuff. But I am curious when in a ldr do you give the other or approach the other to give their things back??

 

Thanks in advance

[FitChick]

Make a list of his things and ask him what he wants back. Tell him to make a list of your things so you can decide if you want them back.

[writergal]

When a r/s ends (long distance or not) people leave stuff behind. You have 3 options at this point:

 

1. Go get stuff

2. Leave stuff behind

3. Ask ex to mail you your stuff

 

If your stuff is that important to you to get back then contact your ex. Otherwise, leave it and the relationship behind. It's really up to you to decide what to do.

[writergal]

I should add that when I'm done with a relationship, I'm done. If an ex asks me for his stuff back then I gladly give it back, no questions asked. But if the ex doesn't contact me, his stuff goes in the trash.

[ThisGal]

I'd trash all his stuff, I wouldn't go out of my way to mail it to him or have him pick it up since I would not want to see him; especially after he ended the relationship with you (via email, and you were his fiancee) how tactless and rude of him.

 

P.S. you had every right to question him about the joint bank account w/ his ex. That's odd and suspect.

[saltyfishhead666]

I'd trash all his stuff, I wouldn't go out of my way to mail it to him or have him pick it up since I would not want to see him; especially after he ended the relationship with you (via email, and you were his fiancee) how tactless and rude of him.

 

P.S. you had every right to question him about the joint bank account w/ his ex. That's odd and suspect.

 

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. I know they aren't together. She's engaged and lives in another country. I also get that a long marriage means there and bound to be ties. Although if you clearly state you'll handle them and don't... that's a red flag to me. I think he wanted me to roll over and accept it. Well it aint happening. Fortunately I'm no one's fool love or not.

 

Thanks you guys. As I said. It's just stuff. We've had tiffs and arguments before now and he's not trashed it. However if that's what he wants to do then fine. I can live without it xx

[ThisGal]

I think he wanted me to roll over and accept it. Well it aint happening. Fortunately I'm no one's fool love or not.

 

I like that mindset. Wishing you all the best.

[saltyfishhead666]

I like that mindset. Wishing you all the best.

 

LOL thanks!