LilGirlandOW Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Our Anniv is coming up of when PA started. We are celebrating it, in some way. I'm wondering about a gift though. I want it to be more meaningful than just a present I bought. Anybody have any cute gift ideas? I'm so girly about presents and had an idea of a tiny little helium balloon in a box, weighed down by a hershey kiss with a sweet message inside. I want to come up with something small and sweet like that as well as a small gift I already picked up of value, a tool he uses at work regularily but a super nice/personalized version. Any A anniv gift ideas? expereinces? 2
Mount Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 That is SO cheesy and un-necessary. That is so obvious what you have been and are investing is not equal to the effort at the MM's end. So that is why I am saying it is so un-necessary. If he is leaving his wife, being with you right now in any formality, that would be different story. Until then, it is so wrong to celebrate what you have mentioned here. Our Anniv is coming up of when PA started. We are celebrating it, in some way. I'm wondering about a gift though. I want it to be more meaningful than just a present I bought. Anybody have any cute gift ideas? I'm so girly about presents and had an idea of a tiny little helium balloon in a box, weighed down by a hershey kiss with a sweet message inside. I want to come up with something small and sweet like that as well as a small gift I already picked up of value, a tool he uses at work regularily but a super nice/personalized version. Any A anniv gift ideas? expereinces? 5
HopingAgain Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Will you be celebrating the Dday that will likely result from this gift giving? Have you forgotten this guy is married? His wife is going to notice a gift given with a feminine touch..... 7
So happy together Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 We celebrated, I didn't give him anything, but he sent me a beautiful bouquet during the day and other sweet things, then we spent the evening together. Have fun with it. Enjoy.
Author LilGirlandOW Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 You're celebrating the first time you had sex? That really strikes me as funny. No PA started long before we had sex, it was the first time we went out, we only held hands! Things with us moved slow in the begining. Thats why I said he old "it just happened" never applied to us 1
Author LilGirlandOW Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Will you be celebrating the Dday that will likely result from this gift giving? Have you forgotten this guy is married? His wife is going to notice a gift given with a feminine touch..... We have given each other gifts, some common things he could have picked up himself, and others... things guys dont think about/wouldnt buy themselves.
Author LilGirlandOW Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 That is SO cheesy and un-necessary. That is so obvious what you have been and are investing is not equal to the effort at the MM's end. Cheesy? lol maybe. Its kinda the same as anybody buying a gift for their SO? He also gives me little cute gifts, so its pretty equal that way, 1
MissBee Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 If his broken necklace isn't fixed maybe you can get him another one? 6
bentleychic Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I'm hoping we'll be able to spend our 1 year "anniversary" together, but no plans other than that.
Author LilGirlandOW Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 MissBee! yes, we have moved on from that. Thankfully 1
Author LilGirlandOW Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 I was thinking of putting his gift (I already bought) in a box, when he opens the box have little helium balloons fly out, but one weighed down with a letter tied to it, I'm not a card person, I usually always write letters in lue of them, lol. I'm in the event planning industry, so I always go all crazy when it comes to gifts/gift bags, lol. I'm what the crazy cat lady is to gifting. The last gift I bought him, the gift cost $30, the wrapping and presentation took hours, its kind a hobby... extreme gifting, lol.
georgia girl Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 LGOW, As a total t/j, I notice that when you post here, you don't get a lot of support. For most, I think it's because you were brutally honest about your A and for me in particular, it was the broken necklace incident where MM left and you got hit by your ex. I don't know if I can ever clear the hurdle that this is the right guy for you when he didn't protect you. Having said that, you are kind and sweet and it appears very emotionally generous. The gift you describe is thoughtful and sweet. I am sure if I did something similar for my husband, he would be touched. May I make a suggestion, though? Let him offer you a gift first. Perhaps even hold off on your gift for him until after your anniversary. Gift giving is incredible. It makes us feel so good about ourselves to make another person happy. But the reciprocal is true. Receiving from someone we care about is very powerful. First, it is a demonstration of thought and commitment. Secondly, it is a gesture of generosity and kindness towards you. Given your past with MM, its time for you to hold back and be reticent and let him step up. You can still be the sweet, kind and generous person you are. But don't preempt him. Let him be make the gesture first. I would go even as far as don't bring up your anniversary now until it happens so that he has an opportunity to forget and see if he remembers. This is a gentle way of pushing back and starting to get more of your emotional needs met. It also makes him emotionally invest. It's time. If you really want a future with him, if you're really ever going to truly get past the marriage, the necklace and the times he's let you down, he needs to become a full partner in the relationship. The only way he can do that is if you stop giving so much. You're making up for what he fails to invest. You now have to sit back and let him do the work for a little while. I can promise you, if you are the one for him and he needs to start working, he will do it. I think he'd also be motivated to do other things - including the substantial things like ending his marriage and making a full-time commitment to you. But if you aren't the one for him, you will be able to see it clearly and then you can make a well-informed choice about what you want (which may be to stay). Hugs! I really do think you're a peach and I'm sorry that your relationship is so targeted. Best of luck! GG 5
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