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One night stands.

Joaquin

By Joaquin
in General Relationship Discussion

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crederer Established Member

crederer

Posted
Posted

Uh.........I had sex with pretty much all of my girlfreinds the day I met them or shortly after. I don't judge a girl based on that.

 

Also, most girls have some emotional issues and having ONS isn't a barometer for that. (Just kidding ladies,....well.....not really....most girls are messed up)

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tart6245 Established Member

tart6245

Posted
Posted
well, no one likes to be judged, even if you might think her sleeping with a random guy is a bad idea. Friends don't point fingers and she is not supposed to live her life the way you feel it's appropriate.

 

You should apologize and ask her to continue to be your friend. And then, in a very civil, polite way, make your case, explaining your pov. And of course, offering her a shoulder to cry on, in case things don't turn out just as she wishes to.

 

I know. I screwed up badly. She blocked me from nearly everything, so I have no idea what to do next. My POV really doesn't matter. I shouldn't have gotten angry at her for what she did. I doubt our friendship will continue unless she's really forgiving. I just hate to see her hurt herself over and over again.

candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted

It is her privilege to choose if and when to forgive you, but it is up to you to make her change her mind. Just talk to her or make her at least listen. Write an email if it makes you feel better. Don't just expect her to forgive you out of the blue, that will never happen. And make sure you're not reinforcing your point of view. This should be about your support for her, your friend. And continuing to be part of her life. And wishing her well, maybe she will get incredibly lucky and run into a fantastic guy, soon :).

bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

Posted
Posted

There are so many goofy things men and women have to tip toe over like this one. In one way, women aren't allowed to get horny before marriage but a guy can. If a guy sleep with 30 women he's a stud, a woman sleeps with a guy in a ONS, she's a tramp and not worthy to wear with on her wedding day and the church will burn down when she enters. All in all, keep you sex life to yourself. No one walks on water.

tart6245 Established Member

tart6245

Posted
Posted
It is her privilege to choose if and when to forgive you, but it is up to you to make her change her mind. Just talk to her or make her at least listen. Write an email if it makes you feel better. Don't just expect her to forgive you out of the blue, that will never happen. And make sure you're not reinforcing your point of view. This should be about your support for her, your friend. And continuing to be part of her life. And wishing her well, maybe she will get incredibly lucky and run into a fantastic guy, soon :).

 

Yeah, I am deciding between an email or just stopping her (or trying to) after class in a week or so and seeing if she will talk to me. I don't know what else to do. I'm beating myself up over what I said to her. I just acted like an idiot after drinking and may have ruined a perfectly good friendship.

amcdaniel1011 New Member

amcdaniel1011

Posted
Posted

Im just go throw a little information about me here. I am a girl whom have had ONS and also FWB. I have been through ALOT with men and sometimes a girl just needs sex, SIMPLE as that! We are like you! Here is a question, IF you are a man that has ONS can you have a relationship?????

 

We are no different. As HUMANS we ALL have some kind of emotional baggage, fathers who havent always been there, mothers that treat us badly, relationships where you have been cheated, and so much more.

 

If you wouldnt want to be clumped up in a category then dont do it to others. Get to know a person and DO NOT CARE ABOUT PAST SEXUAL HISTORY. IT REALLY IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, and the same goes to her. your past/her past is really no ones business. If they are to share it with with then feel privileged that they trust you enough to tell you. Dont use it against them. That shows a lack of character on your part......

swenann991 Member

swenann991

Posted
Posted

why not? I am having ons and I think I am good 'material' as you said for ltr or even marriage

Antenna_Of_Destiny Member

Antenna_Of_Destiny

Posted
Posted (edited)

There is nothing wrong with one night stands in my eyes, I just wish that more women would stop saying that they "need" alcohol for a one night stand.

 

I have absolutely no problem with how many one night stands a woman has had, nor how many people she has had sex with. I also have no problem if she was an escort for some time. I don't care if she has had sex with over 10,000 people in over 100,000 positions.

 

Want to know what does irk me and causes me to immediately lose interest? If she's making you jump through a bunch of hoops for something she passed out like candy on Halloween to others.

 

I only "wait" a while for sex to establish the relationship, IF - and only if - that is her usual and normal standard and conviction. If you learn that your partner treats you differently than your partner usually treats others in her past, you should rebuke the double standard and quit dating her.

 

I despise women who make make someone who is "relationship material" "wait" but won't hesitate to bang someone who is "not relationship material".

 

These kinds of game players perpetuate many of the problems in the dating world.

 

This is why you see more guys acting like douche's and jerks now.

 

They see douchy guys and jerks getting sex on demand without any commitments, while boyfriends have to do the whole dinner, movies, be polite, buy her gifts script and not getting sex until the 10th date.

 

Which do you think guys are going to emulate?

 

There isn't a single mentally healthy individual in the world that would be okay with their future SO withholding sex for months during courtship, while having had sex with losers or "the bad boy" ASAP because they treat her differently on purpose to be judged "non-relationship" material. No one wants to be that person that waits patiently to come up empty handed when the partner has had losers they slept with on the first encounter in the past. That's the very definition of a chump.

 

I feel sorry for the men dating women who have to wine and dine for 10 dates to share sex, when someone else has banged her without dealing with the bull.

 

I've known women like that, the ones that don't have sex with a serious boyfriend for weeks or months, but have no problem having sex on the first night or after two/three nights with something more casual.

Edited by Antenna_Of_Destiny
amcdaniel1011 New Member

amcdaniel1011

Posted
Posted

a ONS is just that, to me. Its something I dont care to discuss nor want to talk to the guy again afterwords. If I start seeing a guy and think that I want something with him I make the distinction known. I dont say things like I think we should be together but I also dont give the vibe that I want to use him for his package. I dont "need" alcohol for a ONS. Some people just feel like they need an excuse. If those people were more comfortable and not care what others may think, ie: "people will think I am a slut", then they would do what THEY want. I wouldnt normally have a ONS with someone whom I am into their personality along with their looks, but someone who is just good looking. You see, for me, it takes alot for me to have a FULL attraction to. and I alos dont feel like a man should jump through hoops and I dont like to jump through them myself. If I have sex its because I WANT TO! Not because I feel someone earns it or deserves it BECAUSE I WANT TOO!!!!!

BradJacobs Established Member

BradJacobs

Posted
Posted
Do you think that girls (sorry I'm a guy) that have them are actually ever relationship material.

 

Lately it seems that the ones that are up for it are fairly messed up.

 

Any thought's.

You're having a string of bad luck.

 

I've slept with a lot of women within hours of meeting them. Some (not all) turned into great relationships.

  • Like 1
Bigcitydreamer Established Member

Bigcitydreamer

Posted
Posted
There is nothing wrong with one night stands in my eyes, I just wish that more women would stop saying that they "need" alcohol for a one night stand.

 

I have absolutely no problem with how many one night stands a woman has had, nor how many people she has had sex with. I also have no problem if she was an escort for some time. I don't care if she has had sex with over 10,000 people in over 100,000 positions.

 

Want to know what does irk me and causes me to immediately lose interest? If she's making you jump through a bunch of hoops for something she passed out like candy on Halloween to others.

 

I only "wait" a while for sex to establish the relationship, IF - and only if - that is her usual and normal standard and conviction. If you learn that your partner treats you differently than your partner usually treats others in her past, you should rebuke the double standard and quit dating her.

 

I despise women who make make someone who is "relationship material" "wait" but won't hesitate to bang someone who is "not relationship material".

 

These kinds of game players perpetuate many of the problems in the dating world.

 

This is why you see more guys acting like douche's and jerks now.

 

They see douchy guys and jerks getting sex on demand without any commitments, while boyfriends have to do the whole dinner, movies, be polite, buy her gifts script and not getting sex until the 10th date.

 

Which do you think guys are going to emulate?

 

There isn't a single mentally healthy individual in the world that would be okay with their future SO withholding sex for months during courtship, while having had sex with losers or "the bad boy" ASAP because they treat her differently on purpose to be judged "non-relationship" material. No one wants to be that person that waits patiently to come up empty handed when the partner has had losers they slept with on the first encounter in the past. That's the very definition of a chump.

 

I feel sorry for the men dating women who have to wine and dine for 10 dates to share sex, when someone else has banged her without dealing with the bull.

 

I've known women like that, the ones that don't have sex with a serious boyfriend for weeks or months, but have no problem having sex on the first night or after two/three nights with something more casual.

 

Women do what you are suggesting so as to not get hurt. A woman can much more easily sleep with a man that she is not head over heals for because how he acts after the fact won't affect her as bad. For example- a one night stand with a dude that isn't relationship material- he doesn't call the next day, no biggie! Sleeping with a guy you love, and him not calling you the next day hurts so much more. Pretty simple really. And I don't think it's something you should "despise" there are a lot worse things in this world. At least the reasoning behind it makes sense and its not completely random.

 

On another note, why do some loveshack members love to "like" every negative comment posted about a woman? It's very noticeable. These also happen to be the same guys that have never had relationships. Coincidence? I think not.

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