betw3nstations Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I made this account and wrote a whole post but it got eaten up I'll try again... Last year I signed up for online dating. I met a lot of guys but none of them 'clicked'. Then I met C in the summer. Most amazing experience. Except that he told me on our third date (no sex yet) he was leaving at the end of summer as he'd already signed a contract to work overseas for his company. I was very disappointed but I ultimately decided to enjoy the rest of the summer with him because I 'didn't want to regret not to.' (First mistake?) FYI in case its relevant- we're mid-late 20s. Anyways, aside from being frustrated at times that there was an expiration date on the relationship, it was the most amazing summer. At the end, we parted ways. We agreed to stay in touch and, if at the end of it all we were both single, let's try again. I knew a LDR was off the table. He had tried it before with an ex and it really frustrated him. Plus, there was the chance his company wants to renew the contract. So there was that. So he left and, after some time, I began seeing other people but nobody clicked. In April, he came home for a visit. We met up a few times, always had a great time, no sex but the chemistry was definitely there. He came home again this past July, told me he agreed to renew his contract another year, sparks were flying everywhere, we had sex, he told me that he thinks of me when he's away. After this July visit, I find myself thinking of him constantly. I can't shake this feeling away. We've dating for only 2 months over 1 year ago and I am not over him (well I was, until this July visit). I am wanting to make a trip to that general area anyway to see a friend in a few months. I want to see him too. Am I crazy? I want to see him, tell him I like him, and see if there is a possibility for a LDR until he comes home. Am I crazy for wanting to do this? Please give me your advice on what I should do. FYI- I know he hates his time there (we're in the US and its an almost-3rd world asian country so its very different) and misses home. He is also turning 30 next year and I know he wants to settle down soon but the circumstances of his life (living overseas) is preventing him from it. Those are his words. Based on these things, I doubt he'd agreed to stay past Dec 2014.
FitChick Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Does he know you have a friend in that area? Then it wouldn't be too surprising to see him and "kill two birds with one stone." I would not go just to see him, though, unless you were explicitly invited.
Author betw3nstations Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Yes, he does. They are in different countries but the countries are nearby. They're 2-3 hours apart. I've mentioned going there and joked that I could see him and if he'd host me. He said yes and told me the times he'd be free. The thing is, I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. Would you do it? Does he know you have a friend in that area? Then it wouldn't be too surprising to see him and "kill two birds with one stone." I would not go just to see him, though, unless you were explicitly invited.
Stilnaught Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 The thing is, I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. Would you do it? I think it all comes down to: are you really going to travel to see a friend, or are you using that situation to get near him? I know it's somewhere in between, but depending on which side of the scale it's closest to, will make a huge difference. Try to think it through for a while, and if it is the former of two options: go. Am I crazy for wanting to do this? If wanting to see your crush would define you as crazy, i'd finally understand why the world is such a nuthouse ...
Author betw3nstations Posted September 7, 2013 Author Posted September 7, 2013 I think it all comes down to: are you really going to travel to see a friend, or are you using that situation to get near him? I know it's somewhere in between, but depending on which side of the scale it's closest to, will make a huge difference. Try to think it through for a while, and if it is the former of two options: go. Uh oh. Change of plans. My friend is returning home (where I live) earlier than expected. I still want to visit my crush... so I guess the trip was really an excuse to see him afterall. Does this mean I shouldn't go then?
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