Mrlonelyone Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 When I read real life love stories from the past it seems that in the past persistence paid off in dating, BEFORE there was any relationship. I mean in situations where the woman wasn't that into the man or vice versa. The kind where now people tend to give up. Rockford couple married for 71 years die just hours apart | abc7chicago.com The couple, who were originally from Ashland in central Illinois, met on a blind date. But family members say Nora wasn't initially smitten, and vowed not to go out with him again. Robert, who was later drafted during World War II, persisted and the two went on a second date. They eventually eloped to Missouri because at 17, Nora was too young to legally wed in Illinois. To appease their families she was Catholic, he was Methodist they had two more ceremonies in their respective churches. The couple marked their 71st anniversary in June. Can someone tell me why things like that don't work anymore? Is it because we all feel there are so many more options now a days.
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Part of it is definitely choice. There are so many ways to connect with and be influenced by others, nowadays, thanks to the internet. Back in those days you only really knew the people you came into contact with through family or existing friends, and didn't have the mindset that there were hundreds of potential partners out there, each one possibly more perfect for you than the last. I think that's one benefit of the way people used to get married young... they'd make a choice of partner, and then stick with it, and work at it (some of the time). Now it seems that you're with someone several years sometimes before living together or an engagement, and often many years before marriage. In some ways that's great, as it enables you to explore your own identity and make sure it's the right person for you. But it also means there are so many 'shall we carry on, or break it off?' moments and so much uncertainty as to whether or not you're on the same page romantically, with my exes of 2 and 4 years I would have been nervous to bring the topic of marriage up which is crazy considering we were living together etc. Back then you made your choice and due to the unavailability of divorce, stuck with it. (Or, I guess, had affairs). I'm probably being oversimplistic.
Shepp Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Im a big fan of persistence! Took me near on 5 years to get my gf! But shes worth it! ...haha soppy post this 1
HokeyReligions Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 When I read real life love stories from the past it seems that in the past persistence paid off in dating, BEFORE there was any relationship. I mean in situations where the woman wasn't that into the man or vice versa. The kind where now people tend to give up. Rockford couple married for 71 years die just hours apart | abc7chicago.com Can someone tell me why things like that don't work anymore? Is it because we all feel there are so many more options now a days. Who says they don't? I'm sure there are young men today who are persistent and 71 years fom now will be celebrating that anniversary. Just as there were many failed relationships that began at the same time as the couple in the story.
Woggle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Those days might as well have been on another planet they were so different. 4
white Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) I make a habit of asking all the olds I have anything to do with how they met their partners. It's very rare they tell a story I can relate to, but it's remarkable how often they can tell a good story about it, as opposed to when you ask your contemporaries and there's little to no romance involved. The most relatable example I know is a godmother of mine who met her second husband in her late 50's through an activities agency that sounds basically like a pre-internet Meetup.com. Sometimes I wonder if we haven't ruined our society for good, and our children are headed for an emotional post-apocalyptic wasteland where the battle of the sexes ended in total indifference. Edited September 1, 2013 by white
ChessPieceFace Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Can someone tell me why things like that don't work anymore? Is it because we all feel there are so many more options now a days. That and people (especially women) are entitled and spoiled to the point of uselessness. Same reason almost no marriage would ever last 71 years now. 1
Woggle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 71 years from now there will be very very few people in nursing homes with happy marriages.
TheGuard13 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I suspect that all those 40, 50, 60 year relationships you hear about aren't necessarily happy ones. I'm sure some are. And I'm sure many have the same relationship problems that more recent generations have faced. It was, however, a lot less acceptable to "quit" on a relationship in the past, to divorce, etc. My grandparents for instance, have been married 50 years. They hate each other's guts, though, but their religious and social beliefs dictate that they MUST remain together.
StanMusial Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I suspect that all those 40, 50, 60 year relationships you hear about aren't necessarily happy ones. I'm sure some are. And I'm sure many have the same relationship problems that more recent generations have faced. It was, however, a lot less acceptable to "quit" on a relationship in the past, to divorce, etc. My grandparents for instance, have been married 50 years. They hate each other's guts, though, but their religious and social beliefs dictate that they MUST remain together. They all have happy times and not-so-happy times. The majority of the people I know who have weathered at least 10 years of marriage have a common set of traits. They wanted to be married.They have a common background/heritage/values/upbringing.They have family support.
EasyHeart Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Obviously, he is creepy. And a stalker. 3
tart6245 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Our age has been changed my the internet. My grandparents were married for 58 years before my grandmother died, and she initially didn't want to date my grandfather either. She turned him down 5 times before finally agreeing to go out with him. After that, they got married and lived 58 years together as happy as two people I have ever seen. Nowadays, people want INSTANT gratification and for their mate to be perfect and look like a model. Anything short of that, and most people look elsewhere and idolize others. Making mistakes is no longer acceptable. Not being perfect is no longer okay. People want a love story, but when things get difficult and real, they want to bail because they are no longer "happy." Back then, people worked at relationships, through the good and bad. That concept is basically dead now, which is why so many marriages fail and why it is so difficult to have a long term relationship. Our lives are so stressful that we turn to other things to make ourselves happy. It's sad too. I love hearing these old love stories, but deep down I know it's impossible for them to work these days. Someone who pursues a girl or cares for a girl is labeled creepy and pushy, even if they have the best intentions. 4
StanMusial Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Obviously, he is creepy. And a stalker. The 2013 version: Rockford man blocked on POF and Facebook by uninterested female. The End 2
Author Mrlonelyone Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 The 2013 version: Rockford man blocked on POF and Facebook by uninterested female. The End Exactly. That is the problem now a days. There is no reward for working at getting a date. There is no reward for working to keep or save a relationship. There is no reward for working through the rough parts of a relationship. So it is harder to get a relationship (for men and women). It is harder to keep one once you have it. It is now harder to work through a less than ideal relationship. There is a false sense of abundance of compatible partners, and people confuse compatibility for the chemical high of infatuation. Sometimes there is even a penalty for persistence since one can be at least called a creep/stalker if not actually prosecuted for that. It's like all we do is essentially like speed dating. Or if it's not that it's basically hanging out and hooking up with no real boundaries (like I say in my sig line). Am I rite? 3
Melissa82 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Very sweet story I know, I get it all the time "move on" "find someone else" but I believe in my heart there is a reason we met, so I persist. As Michael Scott once said in the office "Never, ever give up"
Author Mrlonelyone Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 This is true. I NEVER pursue a girl. I ask them out once. If they say no, then it's no and I move on. Persistence is too much work and is not well-received. It depends some women resist as a way of making sure the man isn't just after an easy lay.
Woggle Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 This is true. I NEVER pursue a girl. I ask them out once. If they say no, then it's no and I move on. Persistence is too much work and is not well-received. Me too. When I was dating either she was interested or she wasn't. None of this maybe and playing hard to get stuff. 2
hotpotato Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Nowadays you can go on the internets and get a new person. No need for persistence anymore.
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