counterman Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 So I just spoke to the girl I've been dating on the phone. For some reason, I joked about leaving and not seeing her again. And she played along and said "go". So I pretended I was leaving and then I actually hung up on her. Anyways, I've been trying to call her several times and left messages and now she's not replying to me... I thought it was funny at the time but clearly it's not. I think I really messed up. When things were going so well.
darkmoon Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 try flowers and/or the offer of a holiday, you're the guy who dumped her, you owe her more than you might like to think, there is no punchline visible
Author counterman Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 try flowers and/or the offer of a holiday, you're the guy who dumped her, you owe her more than you might like to think, there is no punchline visible We've only dated for a month... I feel so bad. It was a joke and now she's not replying at all.
phineas Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Give her until after the weekend then hit her up again. she don't answer or respond forget her. She obviously isn't all that into you and chasing her over something as silly as this is stupid. A woman who is really into a guy will forgive far worse transgressions for fear of losing said guy. 1
SoaringPhenix Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 It was a joke but a bad one. She is probably upset and understandably so. You have called and left her messages. Best bet stop calling or contacting her for a bit. Give her some time to cool off. At least a few hours maybe, call her tomorrow. Calling/texting etc constantly right now will just make it worse. When you do talk to her let her know you were joking and are sorry you upset/hurt her, that it wasn't your intention to do that. I don't think this is irreversible. Any reasonable woman will accept your apology and will still want to see you if she is interested. If she can't/won't accept your apology do you really want to be with a woman who is so unreasonable?
iris219 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Did you call her back immediately after you hung up? If not, I wouldn't respond to you either. 2
NXS Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 So I just spoke to the girl I've been dating on the phone. For some reason, I joked about leaving and not seeing her again. And she played along and said "go". So I pretended I was leaving and then I actually hung up on her. Anyways, I've been trying to call her several times and left messages and now she's not replying to me... I thought it was funny at the time but clearly it's not. I think I really messed up. When things were going so well. For future reference if you want to joke around then you have to understand the structure and boundaries of this, particularly on the phone were you can't use facial expressions to show you're joking. Hanging up the phone was outside the boundaries, it just makes you look socially inept. I'd suggest go through videos of good comedians and analyzing their approach, body language, tone etc.
Author counterman Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 I know, I messed up badly. I feel so guilty. Stupid! The thing is, it didn't have to be like this. Thing were going so well... We were making plans to see each other again. I did call her back straight after and several times more. Left a Voice Mail and also text messages. Makes me look like a psycho. I'm going to give her some space. But man, it was so stupid of me. Should I even bother to contact her or let her come to me?
NXS Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I know, I messed up badly. I feel so guilty. Stupid! The thing is, it didn't have to be like this. Thing were going so well... We were making plans to see each other again. I did call her back straight after and several times more. Left a Voice Mail and also text messages. Makes me look like a psycho. I'm going to give her some space. But man, it was so stupid of me. Should I even bother to contact her or let her come to me? You don't really have any other option except going NC and hope she gets back in contact. 1
Author counterman Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Man, I'm so stupid sometimes. I may bump into her as well; we go to the same uni. I feel so **** about this; but I can't imagine what she must be feeling. I might give her a call a few days from now
gaius Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 A woman who is really into a guy will forgive far worse transgressions for fear of losing said guy. Yeah, she should be yelling at instead of ignoring you. Or at worst ignoring you for a little bit then picking up your call. You're putting way too much power in her hands. You should be mad at her for overreacting to a dumb joke. 1
NXS Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Man, I'm so stupid sometimes. I may bump into her as well; we go to the same uni. I feel so **** about this; but I can't imagine what she must be feeling. I might give her a call a few days from now Is this the same girl I just seen on your other thread, the one who kept talking about her exes? You're probably better off without her if it is.
Author counterman Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Well, I am a little annoyed but I totally brought this upon myself. I'm sure she likes me enough to contact me but I guess time will tell. It would be a waste of a good opportunity; we were getting along quite well.
forgetmenot75 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You actually hung up on her...doesn't seem like a joke to me. I'd text her I'm sorry and wouldn't wait for a reply. Next time avoid this kind of jokes, they have double sense, and she might have felt you actually wanted to leave. Hanging up on her was def too much. And disrespectful. I'm sorry 1
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) you say that she played along but yet obviously she wasnt playing and didn tthink you were......you have sent messages saying that it was a joke and you are sorry ...she should forgive you even if it was a pretty silly joke ... it was still a joke...if she really does like you.....she will contact you.. you made a mistake...not very forgiving a person if she doesnt forgive you for a silly joke...if you actually did anythign serious it would be a relationship killer anyway.....let her contact you...hope it works out for you joker....who wont joke no more... smile anyway....you made a mistake......we all do that believe it or not..the proverbial ball.....its in her court now...you have said sorry already dont say it to her again.....until she contacts you..deb Edited September 2, 2013 by todreaminblue
Author counterman Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 It was one of the stupidest jokes... wasn't funny. Don't know what I was thinking (it's cause I wasn't thinking!). Forgetmenot75, it was way too much. I went too far there. My bad. When I hung up, I felt like an idiot. Thanks Deb, I certainly won't joke like that anymore. She contacted me back and told me why she didn't reply. Apparently it wasn't what I did...it was what we spoke about earlier, which I don't understand why she didn't just tell then and there that she didn't want to talk about it. Anyways, we're good
forgetmenot75 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Hey I'm glad you had the chance to speak with her. Take it easy how, and no more jokes (you can do the silly ones though, just don't take any joke too far) good luck
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