I keep feeling like its my fault he broke up with me?

[candy12]

The relationship started out long distance. We are both still in high school. The relationship was exactly 2 months long before it ended.

We were really strong, or so i thought because we talked about marriage, kids, ourself, our plan to meet eachother in a couple months. We even managed to stay in touch when i went to a country with no phone availibility to the US without enourmous phone bills and limited wifi.

 

 

But ive always felt he was a bit too busy compared to me who at least sacrificed a lpt of my time including sleep for him. It wasnt uncommon that he would have to say "i got to go its late and i have to wake up early tomorrow" in the middle of a phone call or text. One week while i had no wifi on vacation except for like 20min, i didnt get a single word from him until i initiated conversation and told him i that i felt he didnt want to talk to me. He said that wasnt the case but the next day he texted me and said he thought about it and its true he didnt feel like talking because he was in a bad mood because his mom scolded him for the phone bill which ill admit was my fault. But still he was in such a bad mood he couldnt even talk to me for a week and left me feeling miserable and like i wasnt worth his time? Bottom line is i didnt feel as important to him as he was to me.

 

 

Well we picked up very well after that and got back to talking a lot again. But when i got back from my month long vacation it was good for about 7 days until school started gettung him real busy. Two days went by with just me starting the conversation and him always saying he cant talk long and that he is busy or has to go or something. I felt like he was getting tired of me so i texted him that firmly and then he got all angry when he checked his text message after he got home and said he was looking forward to talking but since i feel that way never mind. And also he said he had to finish an assignment and he was now ignoring me. That got me more mad but i stepped back and apologized. However, he ignored it and said i was too sensitive. He told me we were perfect and he was faithful and i had every free hour but now he is done. I felt so bad that i maybe should have waited until he got home and calmly accepted that he was too busy and minimally talked to him.

 

I apologized again and again and he would not reconsider the break up. He said i needed security and long distance couldnt offer it. He said i didnt lovehim but only an image of him i created in my mind. I told him i love HIM and that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He said that if he couldnt be trusted hes out. I told him its not that i didnt trust him its that im insecure because of my past. My dad betrayed my family and it causes me to be insecure sometimes. He still was so dead set on breaking up. He told me to go be happy and find something physical. He also said he knew this would happen and that long distance relationships never work and yet he still gets involved and ruins amazing peoples lives. He apologized for ruining my life. I begged him to reconsider and give me another chance and that i overreacted, buthe was dead set on breaking up.

Oh and he said "i love you. Goodbye"

 

 

I asked him why didnt he at least want to try because we havent even met yet. But he said he wanted to but he couldnt. So i guess he doesnt even care about meeting me anymore.

All this was on text. I tried calling him 4 times but he was on his bike to work was one excuse the other was he cant talk on the phone it hurts too. But seriously? He broke up with me on text because he didnt have the guts and respect for me to say it to my ears???

 

 

Still, i feel like if i had been more lenient, he wouldnt have left so hastely. If i had just waited an hour until he got home and acted like i didnt feel sad at all, maybe everything wouldve been okay. Maybe if i had just told him how i felt in a calmer, less accusing way. I feel terrible.

 

 

Hes gone now, and i dont think he will ever be back. This is the worst feeling in the world. All our promises for the future, all our plans. Even him telling me he wanted to spend forever with me and everything. Was all of that meaningless to him? All i gave to him, everything i sacrificed, and yet he left so fast because i was insecure and sensitive sometimes? It hurts so much

Edited September 2, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[emi]

I felt for you, i totally can relate, trust me, i been there the only thing different is i wasnt clingy or needy or enormous phonebill

 

You need to go NC

 

No words, no tears, no pain can bring him back to you now. You need to accept it.

I dont think he love you, not enough.

 

At first, he was infatuated, but now when the smoke is gone and reality hit in. He bail out asap because in his mind LDR doesnt work, he wont give you a chance

 

Just 2 months girl. you can make it , You said u still in high school, how old are you?

I know break up over LDR is hard, you expected so much, how it will feel to be in person for the first time etc is just killing you. But u deserve someone who can live without you.

 

 

Not someone who will bail out when thing get hard

 

Lots of love

[candy12]

Thank you. And i wasnt too clingy, he was like that before trust me. It was mutual. And th phone bill he said money didnt bother him it was the fact that his mom got mad at him for it and he blamed his bad mood for the reason he didnt want to talk to me. He bailed out oretty fast, i was not expecting him to after he promised me forever, i was all he wanted, etc. I guess words mean nothing and actions speak way louder.

[candy12]

Oh and im a senior in high school. Hes 2yrs younger

[ThisGal]

The relationship started out long distance. We are both still in high school. The relationship was exactly 2 months long before it ended.

 

The bold tells me everything I need to know. You both are still very young. I'm not trying to minimize what you two feel for each other because love is love regardless of age however, you two became too involved...talking about marriage, children and all that "adult" stuff when you're not even out of high school. That's a bit much. Shift your focus on you education/school. As I've told my nieces "books not boys." They've taken my advice. And when I was in high school and boys asked me out I didn't go for it, I dated but didn't take them seriously. I waited until I got to college for my first serious relationship and am glad I did.

 

The thing is, guys his age are not mature enough to be in a serious relationship (stereotypical but true); heck, even grown, adult men aren't mature enough for a relationship. I know it sucks reading this but it's reality. This young man has a longggg time to explore dating, he may think he's ready but he's not even done playing around yet, no way he's settling down at his age now. And as for you, you're way too young to be having these adult plans. At least wait until you graduate high school. Young relationships usually do not last long, hence why it only lasted 2 months.

 

Sounds like he wanted a quick exit. He may have been busy with his school work, you'd know this all too well since you're also in HS, it's a lot of work.You said, "He also said he knew this would happen and that long distance relationships never work and yet he still gets involved and ruins amazing peoples lives." Sounds like this isn't the first time he has done this to other girls. Don't waste anymore of your time wondering could have, should have, would have. This guy isn't mature yet. You haven't met him in person so don't get even more emotionally invested in this. You're too young to get entwined in this mess. Find some hobbies, hang out with family and friends. Don't go looking for a heartbreak. Stop begging him to reconsider, you're just blowing up his ego, he was inconsiderate and rude for breaking up with you the way he did, however, he was not ready for all of this (as I can understand, he's young) and he couldn't have broken up with you face-to-face so a text was fitting although a phone call would have been more appropriate. Don't blame yourself, you are not at fault. It was going to happen anyway. Move on with your life and be happy. Take care.

Edited September 2, 2013 by ThisGal

[candy12]

Thank you so much. Wonderful answer, just what I needed!