Author Leigh 87 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 I don't think I was projecting. I think he WAS really into me for the first few days. Because of who I was and how he thought of me. I think he just changed his mind. It's all good. I'm over it now, thank god it wasn't longer than a week! I'd rather he knows now that he doesn't want to see me than in 3 months.
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I havent really scared off anyone before...and i am certified....maybe because of that being classed as crazy(a danger to myself not others) ...is why until recently...i am normally really careful , i however .....did talk about hypnotising a chicken or two didnt know what else to say and i wanted to get him talking..dont know how he would have replied to that...smilin...stoopid deb......he just left me standing there...it didnt go down well,normally i would send a guy a text message if he doesnt respond i dont send another until he does...and i sent a couple after non response.....thats about my limit.......not really into ignorance...actually not at all now if a guy hacks into my computer and reads my journal entries i probably would understand him running, i write all my craziness down.........but then thats what helps me to be functioning in the real world........adn keep my craziness to myself.....except for on here of course....;0)..think i am going through an episode because i feel pretty calm that cant be right....lol..let you know in a couple of days....I also come up with some of my best work when i am in an episode that i write prettily in my journal .. look i wouldnt worry leigh....if a guy gets scared off from you...he wouldnt be able to handle you anyway....doesnt make it your fault or his fault...you just need a guy who has a bit more of an understanding of where you are coming from and doesnt run off in any sort of trial or communication gaff....... you need someone who is willing to stick around and get to know you...there are guys like that .......who will say to you hey you are freaking me out....... can you stop.....you shrug and go ok then at least i know....pretty easy to deal with...if you find the right guy who can be honest when you cross a boundary he isnt comfortable with it becomes so simple to communicate....like my ex for example...can tell him almost anything and eh doesnt jduge me lately......and he nevr thinks i call too much...because i dont....simple if were too he woudl tell me.....deb im busy call me back....good luck to ya leigh......deb
Author Leigh 87 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Leigh. Do you realize that the very threads you've posted about this guy who you knew for LESS THAN ONE WEEK actually make you look completely, batshyte whacko? How many hundreds of times are you going to hash through this? He WAS NOT as "into" you as you were / are into him. No way. If he were, then he, too, would have 3 (or is it 4?) threads on some forum devoted to dissecting the few hours you actually spent together in hundreds of posts. I'd bet big money that he doesn't. This is not appropriate. And please don't say that he had no idea that you were (are) completely out of control obsessed with him (a stranger). Whether he "knew" it or not, he certainly received plenty of signals. Signals that certainly urged him to retreat, and fast. Just so you know, though, even though you are indulging ridiculously in a completely out of whack fantasy obsession - if you weren't, and were behaving like a regular grown up dating woman, this still happens all the time. People meet - they get excited about it - they think "maybe this is it!!!" And then they discover that … it's not "it." It happens all the time. It's dating. You mistakenly think that you know what I'm thinking. You don't. I didn't write this thread with him in mind. That wasn't what I was thinking. I have been thinking about all the dating mishaps I've embarrassed myself by doing. Stop telling me what I think. You don't truly know what other people are feeling a guy and its irritating. And he was just as into me when we first met. I don't think he was less into me than I was him initially at all. I don't think he was acting or lying. I don't go thinking guys are into me when they aren't. He changed his mind. And I enjoy writing. I like writing about guys in my life. It doesn't mean it is them that am obsessed with. You are pretty clueless about me. You don't know how I think or how I feel about the people in my life. I want guys to tell me things that are off colour to them.
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) You mistakenly think that you know what I'm thinking. You don't. I didn't write this thread with him in mind. That wasn't what I was thinking. I And I enjoy writing. I like writing about guys in my life. It doesn't mean it is them that am obsessed with. I want guys to tell me things that are off colour to them. hey leigh, write away...its what love shack is for i feel to write what you feel liek fwriting in the paropriate forum follwoing guidelines....smilin...chokin...ahem............. even when people get annoyed with you fro what you write..think you are bat schyte crazy.....dotn understand why crazy and bat schyte go together but anyway....im certified so you can sit with me.......;0) keep writing you have a right to write what youw ant...its called freedom fo speech ...but then/......they also have a right to write what they want.....freedom of speech in reply.....you dont agree, doesnt mean there isnt a grain of truth in there ..all people avoid the truth about themselves at one time or another....nuthin new there........we all have our flaws..and beyonce sings it best just for you from dj deb........wonder if she /he wrote this or he/she wrote this before they figured they loved each other and then one day said hey we love each other lets get married and have a child and call that child blue(cool name) just because we are crazy ......hmmmm.....crazy people i dont know....;0)...cheers... ....deb Edited September 2, 2013 by todreaminblue
Author Leigh 87 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Well I know how I feel and what I think. I understand people assume what I think based on the facts presented to them I do tend to grossly misrepresent the way I feel. People should accept that. I am actually embarrassed about my mistakes with two guys I put off me lately. Both really liked me at first for my personality. Then yeah... I feel better learning from my mistakes and also hearing from guys what they think constitutes as a mistake.
Author Leigh 87 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Some crazy is hot as hell, too much crazy makes one run for the hills. I just avoid relationship talk, don't text too much and the basics..... I'm still making mistakes but I feel that I'm at the point where I'll be fine. I really see where I go wrong. I mean, the latest guy has my hand mirror that I got in Moscow. It's special to me but hey, he's already ignored my texts. I'm going to cut my losses and just accept the mirror is gone. Texting him again will make him think I'm crazy. Since he ignored my other texts so far.
Author Leigh 87 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 It doesn't take a lot to scare me off. One time I had a crush on this one girl for around 7 years... for various reasons of bad timing we never got together. When we were finally both single and ready to start dating, she managed to scare me off within two dates. I also currently avoid 5 or 6 women on a permanent basis because they've freaked me out with their actions and eagerness after nothing more than a kiss. Yep. What actions and what signs of over eagerness did they exhibit? I was prob over eager with my last guy but I was not terribly so.. I basically mirrored HIS actions. I would love some examples! But yeah. As far as I am concerned a kiss means nothing and a week together and two or so dates means nothing. I know that now. Though you can have an initial spark and something that means something later on. Initial spark plus long term compatibility is ideal. You will never accept one without the other. But yeah. Over eagerness due to an initial spark is not my friend. I know that now.
AHaze Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) How much does it take for a girl to scare you off, make you think she is crazy or... make you not want to see her anymore? A couple of examples... Thinking it's ok to stay in contact with EX's. Constantly posting about EVERYTHING she does in the day on facebook/twitter. Daddy issues / has dated much older men / being the daughter of a mail man she has never met - usually comes as a package... no pun intended. Overly promiscuous / Sluttery. Feminist "we don't need men, we are strong and independent" attitude. Make-up dependent... won't step outside without it, fake tan, scared to break a nail, disgusted by the idea of splashing in puddles on a rainy day. Desperate to get pregnant. Edited September 2, 2013 by AHaze 1
candie13 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I don't think I was projecting. I think he WAS really into me for the first few days. Because of who I was and how he thought of me. I think he just changed his mind. It's all good. I'm over it now, thank god it wasn't longer than a week! I'd rather he knows now that he doesn't want to see me than in 3 months. Leigh, the first step when it comes to learning from your mistakes, is admitting them. You may have imagined he liked you more that he actually does, if you had texted him too much too often, no? Imagining things is sort of projecting your expectations. People do change their minds, for no reason (known to us), of course... If it was just a dude who used to call and now doesn't and you wouldn't care, you wouldn't have made a thread. It does bother you... Anyway, you seem to be handling the situation. I am also interested in how NOT to turn guys off... who knows, at some point, this century, I might want to go on a date, again, haha!
Author Leigh 87 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Leigh, the first step when it comes to learning from your mistakes, is admitting them. You may have imagined he liked you more that he actually does, if you had texted him too much too often, no? Imagining things is sort of projecting your expectations. People do change their minds, for no reason (known to us), of course... If it was just a dude who used to call and now doesn't and you wouldn't care, you wouldn't have made a thread. It does bother you... Anyway, you seem to be handling the situation. I am also interested in how NOT to turn guys off... who knows, at some point, this century, I might want to go on a date, again, haha! No no no I'm saying he WAS just as into me as I was him, the first few days. At least INITIALLY. I think he LOST interest. I don't believe I was projection my own interest in him from the START. I think he was very much into me at first. Then lost interest in me as a longer term prospect. The thing about texting something or saying something off is that it was likely the catalyst for a decision that they then EASILY made. Since not many guys who are sure about us will leave over minor things like I did wrong. The other annoying thing? We will never know what they truly think and why they left. Maybe he was into me but it was mostly physical so he realised it wouldn't be sustained long term and he chose to flat out ignore me as soon as he had his doubts. I think a truly kind and decent person should at least text an explanation rather than just flat out ignore the person they were seeing. I always tell guys " hey, I really liked spending time with you, but I don't want anything long term with you. You're a great guy and good luck" I think is rude to ignore someone.
robbysurfs Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Texting I always thought was a bit annoying.My rule with texting is keep it brief no one wants a a dissertation via txt message. It just comes of as crazy and needy and "man! this person has got time on there hands". Unless its your wife or serious girlfriend with very important stuff they need to blast off like a grocery list or don't forget to pick up the a,b,c,d,e,f xyz stuff I like... save it for face to face...But that's just my experience 1
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