jamandsugarsky Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I am wondering what you guys think is the best way to meet new people. I work really long hours and am usually exhausted in the week. Come the weekend I do go out to bars etc, but find that most of the time, meeting a guy in a bar probably means that they want a hook up, rather than a relationship. Has online dating been the best way to meet new people? I guess you can get a lot of different people on there, that you wouldn't normally meet? Or is online dating just another hook up thing? I'm interested to know your thoughts!
atomicdog Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Online dating is great for women, because you get millions of men hitting on you, of every kind, and you just get to sit there, leaf through their profiles, pick the hottest ones and arrange dates. It sucks balls for men, because 99% of the time we get completely ignored because we're don't look like male models and don't have a profile that reads like the world's best romance novel. I think quality men will gradually get fed up and leave online dating, to find places/situations in which women treat us nicer. E.g. travelling abroad. Then you'll be left with all the fakes and posers online, wondering where all the good men went. Have fun with it. 3
MrCastle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I am wondering what you guys think is the best way to meet new people.[/Quote] Social circles. Has online dating been the best way to meet new people? [/Quote] Not for me. Online dating has been the worst way and most frustrating. I used it briefly before I deleted my profile. I don't regret the decision at all. I guess you can get a lot of different people on there, that you wouldn't normally meet? Or is online dating just another hook up thing?[/Quote] People use it for different reasons. Just like in real life, some want hook ups, some want relationships, etc
Joaquin Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Those that actually meet someone will swear by it. The rest will say no. I only know one guy who met a gf online and she is his first gf, is years older than he and not physically attractive at all. Hes decent enough looking but very shy. I think its a disaster for men. They are immediately on the back foot in admitting they cant attract women in real life. Work, bars and through friends is the only way I think works to any reality. You just gotta be patient. I suppose its about whatever works works.
HappyLove Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I think it's great to use all your resources. Keep meeting someone while out as an option and have an ad. I don't do bars and clubs so that reduces my chances by a lot. My friends never know a great guy for me. The men who try to pick me up when out and about I'm not attracted to so I old. There are plenty jerks online too so it can be a long process to find someone you want to date long term. But then you hear of people who the first person they met online they married so I say keep all options open. And yes, it's a great place to meet people you would have never met in a million years.
RedRobin Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I think it is good to exercise all avenues. I took the D out of OLD and feel that is a much better way to meet people. I have a couple of meetup groups I'm a member of... a running group, and try to network (carefully) at work too. All that said, I really feel local demographics and age group are a bigger determinate. If you happen to live in an area where your selected gender or dating pool is a rarity... then you need to expand your searches or move.
irc333 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 You could say it's the best way to meet people if you live in rural areas. That way you can spot the "speckle" of single people in the area online and find them easily that way. Though, I kind of gave up on some of the women on POF in MY area because I'm still seeing their faces online and as of yet to respond to me. It's shame, because some of them only live within 3 miles of my home. Usually they are new in town, moved to the area to be near their retired parents, and then discovered the whole area is loaded with married people their age or the elderly. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I think quality men will gradually get fed up and leave online dating This makes no sense. For it is the quality men who do just fine with online dating. That quote is akin to suggesting that attractive women will gradually leave dating altogether (which is obviously true - just not in the context you suggest)
georgia girl Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I avoided o line dating for a long time - called it "1-800 STALK ME". The. I tried it. I met my husband online and I am truly happy. Best thing I ever did for myself. Be careful but go for it!
Energy Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 It's not the "best" way, but it is at least one method of meeting people. It works for some people, for others it doesn't. I would say keep a thick-skinned, level headed, light approach to online dating if you try it. Don't invest emotionally in anyone you contact on there until you've at least got to the second date or so. Avoid getting caught up too much in text or email ping-pong and do keep in mind that there are some people on these sites which lie about themselves, whether it's simply white lies in their profiles, photos which aren't completely truthful to full on scammers or "catfish" who will never meet you because they've lied about their whole identities for financial gain or simply for some weird kind of gratification for pretending to be someone else online. Meet as soon as possible and anyone who cancels out on meeting for a date two times in a row is probably a time waster or a liar, so you move on. But other than that, if you use your common sense, it could work out for you - it does work for a lot of people. Give it a try. Online dating is great for women, because you get millions of men hitting on you, of every kind, and you just get to sit there, leaf through their profiles, pick the hottest ones and arrange dates. It sucks balls for men, because 99% of the time we get completely ignored because we're don't look like male models and don't have a profile that reads like the world's best romance novel. I think quality men will gradually get fed up and leave online dating, to find places/situations in which women treat us nicer. E.g. travelling abroad. Then you'll be left with all the fakes and posers online, wondering where all the good men went. Have fun with it. Wait, what? You claim that women cherry pick the hottest men on dating sites with profiles that read like romance novels - but then you say quality men will get fed up and leave. Most women would say attractive men that they can connect well with are indeed "quality men" don't you think? I'm guessing your definition of what "quality men" are must be different.
thatone Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 The problem with online dating is people are on there for all sorts of different reasons and you have no way to know which reason it is. Some are just on there to see how much e-attention they get. Some are on there to cheat on their spouses, some are on there just to screw off at work, and some are on there to actually meet people and go on dates. How to know you are wasting a few hours of your time on the latter instead of one of the formers? There is no way to know. At least in the bar you know what they're up to in a few minutes.
Phoe Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I wouldn't waste my time. It's like sifting through a garbage dump trying to find a diamond. O_O quite the over exaggeration. there are plenty of perfectly decent people doing OLD.
Phoe Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 no doubt there's a fair share of crap. I do know people who got married from meeting on OLD. They're lovely people. Shy, which is why they needed help, but really lovely. Its not all garbage.
Lei Ping Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I know people who got married after meeting each other completely wasted in a bar. I know of a guy who fell in love with a hooker. Heck I fell in love with a Hooker. Yeah I was wasted in a bar in Port Angeles or was it Negril? I only remember being "in love" for about 20 minutes and then I fell asleep....and woke up in Rio. O.L.D. is a great way to meet Hookers. Especially facebook.
Anela Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Now it's true that people could say: Well you could meet some nice girls online...and meet trash in real life and you'd never know...But why would you PURPOSELY go into an online dive bar looking for quality in a sea of chicks who need to online "date"? If I ever met a chick in rea life who told me she's used online dating...ESPECIALLY a FREE site? I'd smile and be outta there. Huge red flag. Geez, what's wrong with a woman who has tried online dating? I'm waving my red flag here, as I ask. 1
Anela Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 There is an insanely small window of decent chicks who sign up....and are off those sites in no time as it's like having them walk through a car wash of swinging c0cks. How many dik pics does any sane woman have to get email slapped in the face with before she leaves?? I left, because of the type of messages I'd been receiving, although I found a few nice ones when I reactivated recently. One guy I responded to about a specific thing (a TV show), said goodnight to me, and when I responded in kind, suddenly decided to tell me that his mind was in the gutter because he is single. I didn't respond, because I didn't know how to, and I really didn't want a conversation of that type. I can empathize, because I can mess up, too, but he had me talking, and then just dropped that in there. Who in their right mind who isn't desperate as hell even IF they got into a "great" relationship would really want some chick who's gone through God knows how many dudes online and in real life after being "tired of the bar/club scene"? I haven't gone through any of those "dudes." And I wouldn't want one who was only on there for sexual encounters.
CryForNoOne Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Wait, what? You claim that women cherry pick the hottest men on dating sites with profiles that read like romance novels - but then you say quality men will get fed up and leave. Most women would say attractive men that they can connect well with are indeed "quality men" don't you think? I'm guessing your definition of what "quality men" are must be different. By "quality men" he means your "average joe". There are too many sitcoms depicting "average joe" couch potato with a hot wife so many guys have a delusional image of the kind of woman they "deserve". If you have an hourly or salaried job, watch the NFL every Sunday, and are carrying a few extra pounds that makes you an "average joe" not a "quality man". 1
CryForNoOne Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 There is an insanely small window of decent chicks who sign up....and are off those sites in no time as it's like having them walk through a car wash of swinging c0cks. How many dik pics does any sane woman have to get email slapped in the face with before she leaves? That's funny because I used OKC for about 2 months and I went on about 12 dates. All the women I met were sane as near as I could tell. One was very quirky (showed up on a skateboard) and another used her nearly decade old skinny pics, but collectively the women were decent. There wasn't one proverbial "bad date". I had a few second dates and have now been dating one for 5 months. 1
CryForNoOne Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Those that actually meet someone will swear by it. The rest will say no. I only know one guy who met a gf online and she is his first gf, is years older than he and not physically attractive at all. Hes decent enough looking but very shy. I think its a disaster for men. They are immediately on the back foot in admitting they cant attract women in real life. Work, bars and through friends is the only way I think works to any reality. You just gotta be patient. I suppose its about whatever works works. I met someone so I guess I'm one of those swearing by it. My GF is 14 years younger than me and very attractive. I think it's true that OLD is tough sledding for guys unless you can figure out how to stand out from the crowd. I used a very methodical approached that I outlined here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/336060-consolidated-discussion-online-dating-51.html#post4755248 I have above average looks but wouldnt get th time of day from women online unless I had something interesting to say. But I'd in no way say its an admission you can't attract women IRL. I had about an equal # of dates this year from both sources and I know several guys who are the same.
HappyLove Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Online has plenty of flakes and liars, guess what so does real life! You guys sound very BITTER just because it didn't work out for you.
Fineshrine Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Wow seems to be a lot of bitterness in this thread. For me online dating has worked a treat. Met a few great girls on there, a couple of whom have become really good friends who I see regularly and I'm seeing someone now who I've been seeing for a few months and its going surprisingly well so far. At least I think! I think the reason it worked so well for me is because despite being a very social person I can sometimes get a bit shy but I happen to be pretty good at typing and writing messages. Yeah sure a lot of girls didn't respond as is often the case with OLD but it's totally worth the effort for the ones I have met who have all, without exception, been awesome. I think you've just got to be a bit thick skinned about it and don't take anything personally. I'd say to the OP go for it!
GravityMan Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 You can meet new people just about anywhere - online or outside. But the best way is through connections. Just get out there and do weekend social activities with people (preferably those that are not cliquish). Bar trivia, sports leagues, house parties, themed clubs, organized group hikes and dinners, and many many more. Also, seek out people who share your interests and hobbies. Yes you may need to step outside your comfort zone a bit. Provided you're a reasonably good and social person yourself, you should have little difficulty meeting new people at those gatherings, and they may introduce you to more new people via their own social networks. Sooner or later, a guy you'll want to date will appear. OTOH, if you live in a small town far away from any urban area then meeting new folks may be tougher.
FemmeMystere Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 (edited) You're always going to find the "trash" on POF, OKC etc because those are FREE sites, anyone with an email address can sign up for sh*ts and giggles. I've found that with OLD, the sites where you have to pay for a membership tend to have more desirable members. Pay sites are naturally going to have a higher proportion of serious daters and fewer fake profiles because members have to invest $$$ to join. If you're going to do OLD, join a paid site. Edited September 4, 2013 by FemmeMystere 1
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