Willusmile Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 So I'm back again. Having a really rough week. It just got a lot worse. I recently found out that my ex talked about our relationship. I found out what he said. (From an extremely reliable source) He said "I feel so relieved now that we're over. I haven't been this happy in a way." And if that wasn't soul crushing enough, he talked about this new girl he's been hanging out with. Not a surprise, I knew about her. She's a coworker of his and they've been talking every day. She also got out of a relationship, (3 years apparently) and they're taking it slow. Neither one of them wants it to be a rebound, they actually want a real relationship. So my ex is very excited about starting a new life with her. I have been NC with my ex for almost a month now. In my last post someone mentioned, that maybe there was still just the tiniest bit of hope that they would come back. And I think I had hope still. I knew NC wasn't a way to get him back, but I think deep down I wished it was. This is heartbreaking for me. Now only to hear that I apparently made him that unhappy, but that he's trying much harder with this new girl? I feel so used, and almost like I'm not worth what she is to him. I know now, there really is no hope for us and it sucks facing that truth. Reality really hit me in the face tonight, and it sucks more than ever. This is the lowest I've ever felt. How did the rest of you react to hearing that your ex was dating someone else, or thought that badly of your relationship?
TrblinMN Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I found out that my ex got engaged 5 months after our breakup so yeah, it could be worse. At least your ex didn't get engaged, or he could've knocked some gal up, got married, etc... So putting things in perspective, it could be a lot worse. So you got that going for yourself.
Author Willusmile Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 That's very true. Things could be a lot worse. I guess I just freaked out a little. But it still hurts all the same.
melell Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I decided very soon after the break up that there was no way I would go back to my ex, the reality of it hit me hard, it was the worst I felt because I knew that was it. I went straight into feeling really sad and grieving our past 8 years. Then after that every time I thought of him I was just like this is pointless, it is done. He has done plenty that would have devastated me since then. But it hasn't, because I let go of any hope. I really think the reality of knowing it is over is the hardest part, and the most necessary. People can hold on for so long because they are scared to face it. In your case you were forced to take it, but I promise you, it gets better from here.
crazy1234 Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 So I'm back again. Having a really rough week. It just got a lot worse. I recently found out that my ex talked about our relationship. I found out what he said. (From an extremely reliable source) He said "I feel so relieved now that we're over. I haven't been this happy in a way." And if that wasn't soul crushing enough, he talked about this new girl he's been hanging out with. Not a surprise, I knew about her. She's a coworker of his and they've been talking every day. She also got out of a relationship, (3 years apparently) and they're taking it slow. Neither one of them wants it to be a rebound, they actually want a real relationship. So my ex is very excited about starting a new life with her. I have been NC with my ex for almost a month now. In my last post someone mentioned, that maybe there was still just the tiniest bit of hope that they would come back. And I think I had hope still. I knew NC wasn't a way to get him back, but I think deep down I wished it was. This is heartbreaking for me. Now only to hear that I apparently made him that unhappy, but that he's trying much harder with this new girl? I feel so used, and almost like I'm not worth what she is to him. I know now, there really is no hope for us and it sucks facing that truth. Reality really hit me in the face tonight, and it sucks more than ever. This is the lowest I've ever felt. How did the rest of you react to hearing that your ex was dating someone else, or thought that badly of your relationship? **** that must hurt like hell.But u know what?let him go for good and u try seeing other people as well.Only make sure its not a rebound(you dont want that i'm sure after knowing what he said).So as much as it hurts please dear try to move on and thrrow this ******* out of your life for good as he poses no respect whatsoever. 1
Author Willusmile Posted September 4, 2013 Author Posted September 4, 2013 Thanks for all the support you guys. Im slowly coming to the fact that my ex is moving on and so should I. It stills hurts but if he really felt that way about me, we weren't meant to be together. Venting always makes me feel better though.
JPMC Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Once you realize it is hopeless, you'll get over it quicker. You're doing great, don't listen to sappy songs, watch romantic movies or stuff like that. Don't dwell on it, move forward. Be grateful that he's her problem now. Heal yourself and treat yourself right. Try and look your best all the time, workout and feel good about yourself physically. Everything else will come after that. 1
terlislee Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 I'm so sorry, it really is the worst! But be glad you found out so soon, it will hurt as hell, but help you to move on much faster. I didn't get any explanation for why he ended it till almost 8 months later and didn't know for sure he was with someone new for another five. Of course stupid me kept hoping he would come back all this time. Now it hurts just the same and I feel like a fool for wasting a year living in some kind of illusion.
Apparition Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Well, hey, **** him. He's moving on with his life and sounds like he's already over you. Of course it will hurt, it would be strange if it didn't, but this hurt will make you stronger in the future, so instead of looking at it as a negative, look at it as a positive. I've been there myself, I know how it feels. We all do, in fact. We all get hurt at some point in our lives by the person we think we love, but the truth is, you hurt, you cry, you heal and as time goes past your pain fades, your tears dry and you pull up your socks and carry on with your life. Eventually he will just be a distant memory in the back of your mind, and you will be with someone else, someone better, bigger, more loving and they will make you feel everything that you didn't with your ex. When I knew my ex was seeing someone else, I didn't exactly hear it from a third party, I heard it from the horses mouth. We were in NC (I was practically forced into it because she ignored all my texts, e-mails, phone calls, but eventually I stopped completely) and she came back to me shortly after I completely stopped contacting her, all to tell me she missed me and still loves me, but I knew she was playing games since that's all she loved to do during our relationship, and something didn't feel right, so I never took her bait. That lead her to say she was seeing someone else, despite that fact , she still tried to get me into bed with her. I wasn't having any of it because I was in that guys shoes while she was with me. This lead to an argument, and also lead to me being STRONG and having POWER. Something I didn't have during our relationship and even after our break-up. After that, I believed in karma and ever since then I still do. I'm not sure how your relationship was, if he mistreated you or what, but I don't think he has an ounce of respect for you considering the fact he is talking about you negatively and has moved on so quickly. So, screw him.
seekingpeaceinlove Posted September 4, 2013 Posted September 4, 2013 Sunday will be a month since my bf broke up with me and it is getting so hard. I thought it would be getting a little better but every day I'm either angry, sad, or depressed. I've maintained NC though I've replied neutrally back to his few texts (saying hi) but other than that my best friend, lover and companion is totally gone from my life and I'm struggling. I have run out of things to do to make myself feel better..going out, visiting friends and family, exercising...I feel better in the moment but then it all comes crashing down again when I'm home alone. He's the first thing on my mind before I sleep, when I wake up, and every other second in between. I hate him, I love him.. It's maddening and I don't know how to stop. He didn't love me enough to stay and try to make it work...that should be enough for me to say, "f*ck this," and move on..but I can't. It's getting worse every day. Torture.
Author Willusmile Posted September 5, 2013 Author Posted September 5, 2013 I just wanted to say I really appreciate everyone's replies!! It really makes a difference to know Im not the only one struggling. In a way, I do feel much better. When I first heard he was saying all that stuff about I was so angry. I had never been more angry than I was at that second. But after a day of suppressing rage, I feel so much calmer. It's like that killed all the hope I had for us. And now I can truly say it's over. I don't feel angry anymore. Still a little sad, but every day I think less of him. He used to haunt my thoughts at night and all day, but now I'm focusing on other things. It's kinda funny how much that threw me in perspective. I am focusing on bettering myself (working out and going back to school is such a godsend). I know I'm going to have bad days, and it's going to seem bleak at times. I just gotta remember he walked away from us, and it wasn't meant to be.
Omei Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 In one of my NC breaks my ex told me life was much easier and happier without me, **** THEM. That's all I could think of at the time. I know how you feel (hugs)
todreaminblue Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I dotn knwo exactly what was said about our relationship he slept with me th enight before he left so....i guess our relationship must have not been too bad, i dont care what he said after it was over between us...he probably lied anyway.... to tell the truth...... i feel very strongly about this if my ex was unhappy like your ex bf it is their own doing...why ....because they werent honest about being unhappy he allowed you to think everything was ok...so therefore causing his own unhappiness......he might be happy ...its new....its exciting...no fights yet..honeymoon period..all is sweet... see when he hits a roadblock .....or figures out he misses you........he then again, only has himself to blame.......dont sweat what he says.......it isnt your fault he was unhappy....as far as treating the other woman better.......now you have a chance at finding a guy willing to treat you better than what he did......so thats your positive...that guy is out there ...and when you heal ...you will find him...avoid the toads.....save the kiss for the frog.........smilin....(((((((hugs)))))))))))).deb
KCCK Posted September 5, 2013 Posted September 5, 2013 I feel u.. my ex of 2 years suddenly dump me for another guy.. the reason was she had been keeping all those negative things to herself and showing me that everything was ok. started to say I deserve it and i did not understand her.. the moment she found someone else (she just know the guy for 2 weeks) , she dump me.. i dont think a relationship should be like this.. a healthy relationship is something that both parties talk and try to solve the problems together and definitely not keeping in heart and dumping when they have somebody else..haha.. just move and lesson well learnt.. haha.. stay strong.. =) 1
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