Monodare1 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Hi troops, been a while but feeling at a low ebb. Went out for my first single night out with my friends, had a laugh but didn't pull any one. Wasn't my goal but would have liked to have met a nice lady to make the future dark nights coming up a little less lonely. Well, as I made my way home, realisation hit me. That the only person who really loves me is my 88 year old father and my 2 and a half year old son. I walked in, all be it a bit drunk, feeling really lonely and pretty sorry for myself. Question( should I not pressure myself to hook up with someone, am I looking to hook up with someone to sort of punish the ex, should I just Find someone to do the deed with to get over the ex using the old adage, get over someone by getting under someone new? Feeling pretty lonely, help would be appreciated.
Mr. Lucky Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I can only tell you what worked for me and it wasn't sex, not surprising as I put very little effort into getting laid the first year. Hanging with my son, friends, family, exercise - those helped me feel the loneliness less. Like any major wound, the recovery is incremental and hard-earned. A one-night stand isn't going to fix it and you're not in a position for anything more. Go slow... Mr. Lucky
melell Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Hi troops, been a while but feeling at a low ebb. Went out for my first single night out with my friends, had a laugh but didn't pull any one. Wasn't my goal but would have liked to have met a nice lady to make the future dark nights coming up a little less lonely. Well, as I made my way home, realisation hit me. That the only person who really loves me is my 88 year old father and my 2 and a half year old son. I walked in, all be it a bit drunk, feeling really lonely and pretty sorry for myself. Question( should I not pressure myself to hook up with someone, am I looking to hook up with someone to sort of punish the ex, should I just Find someone to do the deed with to get over the ex using the old adage, get over someone by getting under someone new? Feeling pretty lonely, help would be appreciated. Family has been a big one for me. Like you said, your father and your son. Suddenly the people that really love us are so obvious. It is double edged I know, feels great to know you have people that will love you regardless. But feels horrible to not have anyone else loving you. I've pondered that one a lot. I do believe that the only thing that makes it go away is falling in love again, not sex, not dates, but actual love. Sometimes that takes sooo long though 1
keepontruckin Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 No. Don't use someone else to fulfill your short term needs. You won't find satisfaction in that anyhow, most likely... I have thought about this over and over, and all I would be doing is trying to fill a void. I have only met good people when I wasn't actually looking to meet them, so I believe this method has its proven track record, at least it does for me. When I first met my STBXW, I was happy being single, and wasn't looking for a relationship. That's when these things happen, it seems... Women can smell desperation, I'm convinced! 1
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