Question For Guys

[crederer]

You keep coming back to him not getting girls he's attracted to. What does this have to do with anything? Evidently he wasn't as into as you think and he probably doesn't have as hard of a time getting girls as you seem to think.

 

I'm overweight too, I get plenty of girls, some have been incredibly attractive...some not so much but I don't put a huge emphasis on looks.

[madjac74]

I think its naive for women to think they can trap or keep a guy in a relationship after sex.

 

For one thing, a guy's end goal is just to have sex. So guys can be really intense for those 3-4 weeks it takes to sleep with a girl; and then get tired/lazy/bored afterwards. Guys don't want to put the energy in maintaining relationships such as talking and texting constantly.

 

Another thing, if the sex is not good, then the guy doesn't want to see the girl again, either. Or he's a player who doesn't want a stage 5 clinger.

 

It takes 3 to 4 weeks to sleep with a girl? I can't believe your seriously jaded stereotype of a man would put that much effort into getting laid.

[Leigh 87]

You keep coming back to him not getting girls he's attracted to. What does this have to do with anything? Evidently he wasn't as into as you think and he probably doesn't have as hard of a time getting girls as you seem to think.

 

I'm overweight too, I get plenty of girls, some have been incredibly attractive...some not so much but I don't put a huge emphasis on looks.

 

 

 

 

Oh, I have no doubt that INITIALLY he was just as into me as I thought he was.

I do not believe he was acting, and I do not think I over estimated his interest level.

 

I am not just a blonde hot girl with no personality, and at least AT FIRST he was very much into me.

 

I think he changed his mind.

 

I seriously doubt he has a bevy of hot women to pick from. Sorry, but I MET the dude and I definitely do not think he is that type of guy who has a lot of options with hot girls. Some maybe, but certainly not enough to just jump onto a new one whenever he pleases.

 

He is not a guy who INITIATES contact with girls... He lets girls talk to him.

 

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Anyway, I am dating someone else more suitable now.

 

 

I am not going ask fast his time, we are not having sex yet and will not until we get to know each other over the next month or two.

 

He said he has a big heart and just ignoring a girl is really awful to him. The way the last guy did to me.

I think this guy is genuine, I have a very strong gut feeling he is not some lying actor...

 

I am going to get to know this person first though, and not make the same mistakes I made with the last guys....

 

..........................................................

 

This guy not only sees me often, but he also bothers to text me once he gets home, to say goodnight. Unlike the other dude.

 

He admitted to wanting to text me more, but stoping himself due to wanting to exercise self control:lmao:

 

.......................................................

 

 

One winning thing I have found in the past 4 guys I have been with?

 

They have ALL been IMMENSELY attracted to me.

 

My ex was NOT that attracted to me, and therefore we were ultimately not compatible.

So these days, that is ONE thing I try to get a "feel" for with men; it is no longer an option for me to even consider dating a man who is not very attracted to me physically.

And as you all know, some men do date women who they are not initially that smitten with look wise, yet give a chance anyway due to liking their personalities.

 

So far, I just notice a " difference" in my ex, and the way a guy is with me when he is TRULY attracted to me.

 

So yeah. One thing I feel I have a strong handle on, is avoiding dudes who settle for me, when they are not that attracted to me.

 

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[Leigh 87]

It takes 3 to 4 weeks to sleep with a girl? I can't believe your seriously jaded stereotype of a man would put that much effort into getting laid.

 

 

 

A guy who thinks you're special and wants to genuinely spend time with you will wait that long.

 

Besides. There are other ways to have fun without sex.....

 

After my experience with men, dating and relationships, it is blatantly obvious to me that I only enjoy sex in the context of an actual relationship with strong feelings involved.

 

There are one or two special people, FWB I have been very good friends with and who were special to me for reasons I cannot explain on here... I do not regret being with them sexually, as we both learned a lot about how we feel about people and sex.

 

So yeah. With the exceptions of two FWB, I have NEVER enjoyed sex with men outside of loving relationships. And one of the FWB and I do have feelings, considerable feelings, yet we choose to not act on them (not like each other more than others we have dated).

 

SO this time around, I only feel up for getting to know this guy.

 

At least it will weed out the guys who are actors and, say, are callous enough to pretend to like you and want a relationship with you, only to just be after sex.

 

This guy is cute and would be able to get action elsewhere if I do not put out. And I hope he does if that is all he is after.

 

I have a good feeling about this guy. With the last dude, it was physical and chemistry related.

 

This guys seems far nicer and more genuine than the last dude.

 

Time will tell though. I need to spend a lot of time getting to know a person.

[Phoe]

It takes 3 to 4 weeks to sleep with a girl? I can't believe your seriously jaded stereotype of a man would put that much effort into getting laid.

 

I've never had sex with a man sooner than that... and it was never a problem.

[Leigh 87]

I've never had sex with a man sooner than that... and it was never a problem.

 

 

If they cannot wait that long then they are not terribly interested in getting to know you and develop a relationship with you..

 

Time will always tell.

 

I am not going to get invested until time proves to me that he is worthy and genuine.

[Janesays]

Am I the only one who WOULD have been turned off completely after a couple of needy sounding texts?

 

My thought process would be this...

 

"Whoa! I THOUGHT this guy was special and cool, but look at these weirdo texts! Turns out I was WRONG about him and he's really just loony tunes. Better back away slowly..."

 

I don't care HOW strongly I initially felt for someone, the very first second they start texting me some kooky nonsense, I lose interest.

[Phoe]

If they cannot wait that long then they are not terribly interested in getting to know you and develop a relationship with you..

 

Time will always tell.

 

I am not going to get invested until time proves to me that he is worthy and genuine.

 

Yup.

 

 

If there's one thing I can say with confidence, it's that my past relationships never had the issue of the guy just wanting sex. Waiting was smart, and never was a problem, ever.

[jcrew11]

You might not have a boring personality. But you should at least have a fun personality (not too party crazy) that is enjoyable to be around when the both of you are not having sex. Some girls are smart, some are interesting/well-read, some are ambitious/career-oriented, some are also just really nice and caring.

 

As traditional as it sounds, its great to have a woman who knows how to cook and take care of a man. A woman who is a teacher or nurse really knows how to treat a guy well.

 

A guy doesn't just want a woman who is good at sex; he also wants a woman who can take care of him, and that he can't live without.

 

And I think its something that women like as well - the guy doesn't have to be a wimp, but he can be rich, successful, fun, and caring enough that he improves the girls life and the way she feels about herself.

 

But as I said, I think it is about "Compatible Personalities" and if someone enjoys being around the other person after sex.