lovehurts5 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 This question is for guys that have a lot of female friends and seem to always have girls flocking towards them.... If you were in a serious relationship, were you ever tempted around these other girls? Or were you able to have self control and be 100% completely loyal to your girlfriend. Also, was your girlfriend ever insecure about these other girls? If yes, how did you deal with these insecurities? The reason I ask is because my boyfriend has tons of female friends who always seem very flirtatious towards him but he tries to reassure me all he wants is me and how he plans on marrying me some day. I am extremely insecure, however, and always feel like these other girls have something that I don't and I get worried that i'll lose him to someone else. I know he gets annoyed with my insecurities but I can't help myself..... 1
KungFuJoe Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I have always had a lot of female friends (I don't know about the girls flocking to me part, though). The only thing to say is simply...the amount of female friends he has doesn't matter. All that matters is how good your relationship is and what kind of person he is. He could have 100 female friends, and not feel a thing towards any of them, or he could have just one...and end up trying to sleep with her. My first gf was very insecure...and had a LOT of trouble with the fact that I had female friends. She got very jealous, and caused scenes many times...mostly in front of them. It was pretty embarrassing to be honest. We eventually broke up...for many reasons, really...but her insecurity was the primary reason. 2
CptSaveAho Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 he tries to reassure me all he wants is me and how he plans on marrying me some day. Future faking at its finest 1
Keenly Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I have a few close female friends. If I was in a relationship, cheating wouldn't ever even cross my mind. I'm dating my girlfriend, not my friends. She can not have a monopoly on my friends and my attention. She will always get most of it, but she can't demand all of it. 1
Lixxy Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 The only thing to say is simply...the amount of female friends he has doesn't matter. All that matters is how good your relationship is and what kind of person he is. He could have 100 female friends, and not feel a thing towards any of them, or he could have just one...and end up trying to sleep with her. NAILED IT! I have a few close female friends. If I was in a relationship, cheating wouldn't ever even cross my mind. I'm dating my girlfriend, not my friends. She can not have a monopoly on my friends and my attention. She will always get most of it, but she can't demand all of it. I agree with pretty much ever single post of yours I've seen, no exception here! 1
TB Rhine Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Regardless of your boyfriend's character - people who constantly have interested members of the opposite sex (or their preferred sex, at any rate) flocking after them are basically putting themselves in the position of being constantly tempted to stray. Why invest in a relationship with a man who is foolish, or careless, enough to put himself in compromising situations on a daily basis? Would you stay with a recovering gambling addict who insisted on working at a casino in Vegas? As a guy, I've seen this from the other perspective - dating a girl who constantly had other guys following her around. Inevitably we would hit a rough patch in our relationship and she would end up kissing or having sex with someone. In fact, I'm ashamed to say I even played that role myself a few times (i.e., I was the male "friend" who hooked up with her while she was unhappily coupled with someone else). I'm not being moralistic here; I'm just saying that there's a certain type of person who needs constant attention and reassurance from the opposite sex, and if the attention quotient they're getting from you drops below the red line for any reason, the odds they will stray are infinitely greater than that of a person who only has a normal number of opposite-sex friends, and maintains appropriate boundaries with them (i.e., no flirting, etc.) 3
EasyHeart Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 These women don't sound like "friends". Do his male friends flock around him and flirt with him? I have a lot of female friends, but I don't flirt with them and they don't flirt with me. We always make sure to maintain firm boundaries so there is no confusion between us and there are no false impressions given to other people.
It's Just Me Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I have quite a few male friends, none of whom I have slept with or ever intended to do so. This is what happens when your pastimes are hiking, photography, camping and mountain biking. Lots of guys interested in the same thing. I do recall meeting someone for a first OLD meet for coffee. It was a Friday night, and I had a hike/photo jaunt planned for the next morning with my friend Ron. This came up when my date asked me about my plans for the next day. Him: So, what are you doing tomorrow? Me: Hiking and shooting. Typical Saturday morning. Him: You going alone, or with friends? Me: It was supposed to be a bunch of us, then everyone bailed except my friend Ron. Him: [Defensive, sarcastic tone] "Ron?" Who's "Ron?" Me: He's one of my friends who's into hiking and photography. Why? Him: Is he an ex-boyfriend? The conversation degenerated into this guy's insecurities projected onto my outing the next day. It was very uncomfortable, especially since we had just met a few hours before. At no time did I justify who Ron was (much older, was never my type, had a girlfriend), because I didn't see why I should do that. I should never have to do that. My date's very controlling nature gave me the heebie-jeebies, and I chose not to see him again.
crederer Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I have a few close female friends. I don't ever try to sleep with them. It's a situation where the friendship was established and you can't really go back from that. Hell, most of the girls I dated I got hooked up with through these female friends. They suit me better as friends and not lovers. From the outside looking in it seems that I flirt with these girls from time to time but it's more so just me pumping their tires and vice versa.
tart6245 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I'd be wary of it. My longtime ex girlfriend had a lot of guy friends when she was in high school, but she also got around from what she told me, in that she dated most of them at one point or another. She stopped seeing them when we were together because she loved and respected me. So if this guy has a lot of girls he hangs out with, I'd be worried.
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