rj4559 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Hello everyone and thanks in advance for the input! So the situation is this: this girl who was always just a friend to me was hurt badly earlier in the year when her boyfriend broke up with her. A few months passed and she started hanging out in my friends group (since she had more time on her hands now being single). Anyway, as I got to know her more I started to feel like I was having a more-than-friends interest in her. We started flirting a little and found ourselves holding hands one night. It was like sparks were flying around us. As the weeks went on, we would hang out a couple times per week and have a great time—laughs all night and long talks. It really felt like a great connection. We kissed at the end of each night and they were nothing but passionate kisses which she definitely seemed to enjoy and always leave with a huge smile. She was at my apartment one night and we made out in my bed for a while (no sex-since I didn’t want to be too aggressive). Needless to say it was very intimate. The next morning when she was going to leave I went in for a quick kiss goodbye and she turned her head so I get her cheek instead. I didn’t think too much of it at the time—but I did see it as a warning sign. A couple days later I told her I was going away on a family vacation and would miss her. She downplayed it like it was no big deal and said it “was only for a few days”. I texted her one night while on this vacation and she wouldn’t respond until the next day. I started to get a weird feeling. When I came back I had our friends over my house (including her) and she stated in conversation with our mutual friend that she “wasn’t even close to dating anyone right now.” I felt like there were knives in my stomach. She would leave that night by giving me an awkward hug and running out the door. At this point I was upset and felt her interest in me just completely fell off a cliff. I texted her that night saying that we needed to talk to clear the confusion and she said it would be a good idea. We never had this “talk” but right now we are stuck at “friend status.” I’m not sure I should actually have this talk or not because I don’t want it to ruin the friendship. We spent the day together earlier this week and had a great time (as friends only). It didn’t even feel awkward—it was almost like both of us pretended like nothing ever happened. Am I wasting my time thinking into this too much? Is it just a situation where we were talking and it didn’t work out? Does she have commitment issues? She told her friend she wants a boyfriend but then I heard her say that she doesn’t like commitment. This whole experience was just so confusing. It seems as if she lost interest in me—but I cannot figure out why. It’s a real shame because, although brief, I actually really like what we had. Thanks for reading.
unagedtiger Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 when was the last time the actions and words of females matched? i found out the interesting way. never ever assume anything with the female mammals. 2
Dzlez Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Women are complicated. If a woman really likes you, she will talk to you and show interest. Best thing to do is move on and forget about her. If she comes back, good but don't expect too much or should I say don't invest too much. You'll be alright.
gaius Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Sometimes after someone's hurt they can end up kind of using someone else they aren't that interested in to make themselves feel good again. It's like a reminder of how good they are and how much power they have. She probably feels good again and is on the lookout for something new. 3
Author rj4559 Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Wow... if that's the case that is just pure evil!
ForgetMeNots Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 If YOU were the one that texted her saying you want to have a talk to discuss where yall are at relationship wise, then YOU should be the one to start that "talk." Man up if you truly want to be something to this girl,cause atm she is pretty unsure herself
tart6245 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Just leave her alone. Talking rationally to a girl is really a waste of time. They are difficult to figure out. They say one thing and do something completely different.
Author rj4559 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) Just leave her alone. Talking rationally to a girl is really a waste of time. They are difficult to figure out. They say one thing and do something completely different. I agree. I'm thinking its best to just let it go at this point. It just has me very curious as to why this happened. I feel like confronting her would be pointless since she probably wouldn't give any kind of straight answers. Edited September 2, 2013 by rj4559
tart6245 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I agree. I'm thinking its best to just let it go at this point. It just has me very curious as to why this happened. I feel like confronting her would be pointless since she probably wouldn't give any kind of straight answers. Exactly. You never get straight answers from girls. She will just evade questions and make you feel awkward about asking her anything. Then you will feel even worse. Just leave it be.
Jadedbyluv Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Just curious, did anything else happen the night you made out in bed? That when you noticed things started to change?
bubbaganoosh Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Maybe you should look for another girl who isn't just out of a break up. No doubt she still has feelings for her ex and she's not ready for another relationship. It's not fair to you that you felt lead on. She should have been a little more honest and told you she wasn't looking for another relationship. If you want to have the talk with her, then do it. She should at least give you her reasons for being hot and cold. After you here what she says then you have the option to further this friendship or move on.
Author rj4559 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 Just curious, did anything else happen the night you made out in bed? That when you noticed things started to change? No we just cuddled and fell asleep. Maybe she wanted sex and felt insulted? Who knows...
truth_seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Sometimes after someone's hurt they can end up kind of using someone else they aren't that interested in to make themselves feel good again. It's like a reminder of how good they are and how much power they have. She probably feels good again and is on the lookout for something new. I just experienced this. Had a girl I was into, but not really into, she started dating a guy just to stick it to me that I was wrong to pass over her. Yes, it's evil.
truth_seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I agree. I'm thinking its best to just let it go at this point. It just has me very curious as to why this happened. I feel like confronting her would be pointless since she probably wouldn't give any kind of straight answers. I can tell you, you will never get a straight answer from a woman. I have a lady friend and she tells me all the tricks these will women will do. The number one rule: lie till you die If a woman is upset with you, she will ignore you. If you know a woman is lying and press her for the truth, she will deny everything and act calm to infuriate you. Lots of it is to feed their ego, other times to test you. The best thing you can do is this: - ignore her - go out and meet someone else - be happy You do these three things, it will get under her skin. 2
Hyouri Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I can tell you, you will never get a straight answer from a woman. I have a lady friend and she tells me all the tricks these will women will do. The number one rule: lie till you die If a woman is upset with you, she will ignore you. If you know a woman is lying and press her for the truth, she will deny everything and act calm to infuriate you. Lots of it is to feed their ego, other times to test you. The best thing you can do is this: - ignore her - go out and meet someone else - be happy You do these three things, it will get under her skin. You make it sound like women's only purpose in life is to make ours miserable.. oh wait... My story now: Met a nice girl and her friends (I'm working abroad so it was that nice that someone was from my country..). We had such a good time, eventually I felt that one of the girls responds to me differently, so I started making the moves. A few nights later we slept together..and after that I found out while she was sitting in front of my PC, checking her FB that she has a bf. (the guy was so lovestruck it was so sad to see). He was practically begging her for attention....which she simply ignored like a boss, while went on with looking at FB liking stuff and commenting. The guy got ignored like nothing else. Now she's back to her own country..playing loveydovey with her bf. (baking cakes for him, going to their parents and such) and now I got ignored like a boss. Not that it hurts, not that I didn't expect this, but man... Women are cruel and evil beings. They only life for THEMSELVES. Their own happiness, their own present. That's what the medias been telling to them, that's how they live. Most of them at least, there are nice girls out there. So some people says. (mostly girls though, on my experience..) I've never met one so far.
truth_seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You make it sound like women's only purpose in life is to make ours miserable.. oh wait... My story now: Met a nice girl and her friends (I'm working abroad so it was that nice that someone was from my country..). We had such a good time, eventually I felt that one of the girls responds to me differently, so I started making the moves. A few nights later we slept together..and after that I found out while she was sitting in front of my PC, checking her FB that she has a bf. (the guy was so lovestruck it was so sad to see). He was practically begging her for attention....which she simply ignored like a boss, while went on with looking at FB liking stuff and commenting. The guy got ignored like nothing else. Now she's back to her own country..playing loveydovey with her bf. (baking cakes for him, going to their parents and such) and now I got ignored like a boss. Not that it hurts, not that I didn't expect this, but man... Women are cruel and evil beings. They only life for THEMSELVES. Their own happiness, their own present. That's what the medias been telling to them, that's how they live. Most of them at least, there are nice girls out there. So some people says. (mostly girls though, on my experience..) I've never met one so far. Not all women behave this way, but if you hurt them, they will. There are many women who are two-faced. Once they know they got you (your heart) they will play with you. Once you're in their back pocket, you're just a possession for them. The only good to come out of your story is it gives you experience and signs to lookout for with different women you will come across.
truth_seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 when was the last time the actions and words of females matched? Actions speak louder than words. Pay more attention to the actions of a woman than her words.
fanine Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You make it sound like women's only purpose in life is to make ours miserable.. oh wait... My story now: Met a nice girl and her friends (I'm working abroad so it was that nice that someone was from my country..). We had such a good time, eventually I felt that one of the girls responds to me differently, so I started making the moves. A few nights later we slept together..and after that I found out while she was sitting in front of my PC, checking her FB that she has a bf. (the guy was so lovestruck it was so sad to see). He was practically begging her for attention....which she simply ignored like a boss, while went on with looking at FB liking stuff and commenting. The guy got ignored like nothing else. Now she's back to her own country..playing loveydovey with her bf. (baking cakes for him, going to their parents and such) and now I got ignored like a boss. Not that it hurts, not that I didn't expect this, but man... Women are cruel and evil beings. They only life for THEMSELVES. Their own happiness, their own present. That's what the medias been telling to them, that's how they live. Most of them at least, there are nice girls out there. So some people says. (mostly girls though, on my experience..) I've never met one so far. To be fair some men can act like dicks too. I've known of guys doing similar things and had a couple of guys pulling similar tricks on me, when I was younger. There are good women and bad women, good men and bad men. Some people are simply complete narcissists....Sometimes it can take time to find the good ones unfortunately. I would never do something like that, my friends would not either, that is the way we have been brought up here. To respect people.
StanMusial Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 It sounds very much like a rebound. She is telling you everything you need to know with her actions and body language. She is now your friend/acquaintance, nothing more.
Author rj4559 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 I am thinking it was kind of a rebound and she liked the attention I was giving her. She probably thought I was showing too much interest and that's where she backed off.
todreaminblue Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 (edited) when was the last time the actions and words of females matched? i found out the interesting way. never ever assume anything with the female mammals. when i read female mammals the first image that popped into my head was a dugong a sea cow........ we are not dugongs.....i dont really understand dugongs wither ....strange and wonderful animals....... this is what i feel women are gods gift to man.....started with eve so adam wouldnt be lonely, and then us women decided that we had to keep you men on their toes by not being easily understood...but dont worry ...men thought exactly the same thing and exist to confound us.......but then....we cant help but naturally most women want to be with a man....and most men naturally cant help wanting to be with a woman....because some how through all the confusion we fit......we were meant to......man plus woman......confusiuon love frustration affection passion...all part of life......cant live with us cant live without us...vice versa....dugongs are cute sea mammals though......rather be a dugong than a than a gorilla.....like most men are confusing beat the chest i am man see my chest hair primates......deb Edited September 2, 2013 by todreaminblue
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