summerwoes Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Hey loveshack. Long story short, my ex broke up with me almost 2 months ago and I went NC (mostly) immediately. We haven't spoken in almost 60 days. Here's the link for any of those who are interested: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/407826-no-contact-exceptions Since coming back to college, I let lose and hooked up with 4 maybe 5 girls in a week and a half (everything but sex) but none that I would see myself dating. Two nights ago I met this really cool chick, just really sweet and cute and we've met up two nights in a row. I'm thinking about pursuing her a little more and not just having it be a random hookup, except I'm still far from over my ex. I haven't talked to her in almost 2 months and I feel like we should see each other and see where exactly we are before I just jump into something else. We both (my ex and I) had sex with each other for the first time and from what her friend told me, she hasn't had sex with other guys yet. I've read stories on here about people breaking up with their SO and later when they find out the other person has been sleeping around are heartbroken. I still have strong feelings for my ex and feel like if those feelings can be avoided they should be. On the other hand SHE broke up with ME and I guess this is what she gets........idfk My other question is would it even be fair for this girl If we started going out?? I mean I did tell her about my ex and she knows I'm not completely over her so I've been honest with her. Maybe just keep it at friends with benefits for now? Help me out guys I have no idea what to do.
Misfortune Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 I wouldn't date unless I'm completely over my ex. You'll more than likely end up ruining what could've possibly been a good relationship, because you couldn't let go of your ex. It's not fair to her even if you tell her, you're essentially wasting her time if she's expecting more out of it. I don't really like the idea of FWB because it's essentially using people. I would stay friends with her until I can sort my feelings out properly. You and your ex are not together, you don't have to ask permission to be yourself and to do what pleases you anymore. . Even if you tell people things before you ever date and they agree that they can live with it, they'll still end up bringing up those reasons as to why things didn't work out. I told my ex"wife" from day 1 that I have anxiety issues, depression, I'm controlling in relationships and she said "that's fine". We ended and she's listing all of those things as to why things failed as if it's new news to her. 3
Author summerwoes Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the replies guys. So things just got a little complicated. My ex drunk texted me (first contact in almost 2 months) at 2am last night saying "I'm sorry to see you again. I'm not trying to run into you on purpose I swear, don't hate me", except I have not seen her once since being here so she's either seen me or thought I'd seen her a bunch of times which I haven't. I just went to sleep last night and didn't reply and am not planning to but it's kind of convinced me that I still need to have a conversation with her even if the outcome is the same as it is now. She sounds like she wants to talk about things...Thoughts?? Edited for more info. Edited September 1, 2013 by summerwoes
Author summerwoes Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 Any ideas are appreciated guys. Right now I've decided to ask her to talk on Friday after classes. Originally I was gonna take the previous posters' advice and keep NC but this breadcrumb has got me thinking too much about her and she's obviously thinking about me too. Also I realized she didn't just text me on a random day, she texted me on the day of our would be monthly anniversary (she always used to make a big deal out of these lol)
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Stay away from the ex (NC) and stay away from new girls. Work on yourself for a bit and I think you'll find positive results. You don't need to have a girl in your life at all times. Be alone for a while. Grow, mature...
tart6245 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Yeah, it isn't fair to the other person if you're not fully into it. You'll just hurt them and yourself...
melell Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 I wish people were only sexual to make babies.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Any ideas are appreciated guys. Right now I've decided to ask her to talk on Friday after classes. Originally I was gonna take the previous posters' advice and keep NC but this breadcrumb has got me thinking too much about her and she's obviously thinking about me too. Also I realized she didn't just text me on a random day, she texted me on the day of our would be monthly anniversary (she always used to make a big deal out of these lol) That's a really awful idea. The breadcrumb means nothing. Stay away.
Recommended Posts