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[Coombseyboy]

Here's the situation, me and my ex were together for 5 years and we broke up properly last year for the first time, but after I'd say 3 weeks I asked to see her and she fell in love with me again, anyway this time we broke up about 3-4 weeks ago because in her words "it wasn't working" she said she felt more like my mother then my girlfriend which I accept and understand, I went full NC for about 3 weeks, she initiated contact asking if I'm ever going to talk to her again and I said "you've moved on so I should to" (nicest way of saying no).

 

Anyway she got really emotional with her texts saying she loves me she misses me etc, she said "I'll always be yours" now here's the problem, she is with someone else right now and she says she likes him but personally I think that's bullcrap, she's changed a lot in this last month, she's got like an insane rebel, she goes out a lot, got arrested for fighting etc etc, she's a firey girl an always was but never arrested whilst I was with her, anyway she asked to see me and at first I said I couldn't but I just gave in and went to see her,

 

I used advice from this site and talked to her like an adult, didn't get angry or upset, I told her I understand and accept my role in the break up, and I apologise etc etc, anyway she asked me for a hug which was very intimate which turned to a kiss which turned to a 10 second lip on lip session, we talked for a few hours trying to explain how I am a changed person which I am, I knew I shouldn't have but well I gave in, anyway she said she needs to think about us and what she wants bla bla, I know of 1 reason that will put her off the idea of being together, and that is her mum and friends, both of whom hate me or strongly dislike me,

 

I want to apologise to her mother but don't want to risk angering my ex, same deal with the friends, I want to talk to them and apologise and show them that I'm different, what should I do? I met my ex 2days ago and she still talks to me not a lot but talks to me, but I've decided to just go NC or very little contact unless she talks to me about something important, like us, what should I do about the family issue? And is the NC a good idea? This is tearing me a new one, she's out clubbing and s**t whilst I'm stuck here contemplating how to win her and her family back, we're both basically the same age I'm 19 she's 20 I'm 20 in a few months, she works a lot and I'm at college and working a lot,

 

I truly believe that if I got another shot I could build a new life with her on new foundations with her family an friends eventually coming to love me, I'm stuck on how to convince her to what I'm saying or if I should send her mother and friends a message of apology Etc, just so you know of I did send her mother a message or anything I know my ex won't like it, as for her friends I doubt she will like me sending them a message but I'm not 100% on the friends one,

 

any serious Advice would be amazing, thanks guys!

Edited August 31, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[leafguy]

Just say it from the heart...or do what I do when I have something big to say...plan it out in stages...a few nights in advance write / type it out, save it. Next day, add anything you feel you may have forgotten, edit what you did, then repeat the cycle. You know it will be right.

 

Out of curiousity...the first time you two broke up, did you stay in contact?

Or was it NC as well? Not that this has any bearing on it, but just curious how the difference of NC vs contact if they were different for you guys played out.

[Coombseyboy]

Well that's kind of the problem, we've only been talking again for 3 days, I don't want to push her and force her when its so fresh, I know what I want to say to get mum and friends but the main problem is I know if I message them itl piss her off, I don't want to be strung along, at times I feel I am because she was so loving and emotional the first time she messaged me after 3 weeks but now not so much, she's gone cold again and once I clocked onto it, yesterday evening, I just said goodnight to her last night, said she was my world etc, but haven't talked to her today, wether she cares or not I don't know, probably doubt she does but yea, it's weird, I kinda feel like I'm waiting to be rejected even though I already have been rejected? If anyone gets that then kudos to you, and to answer your question the last time we broke up I was a blubbering mess, text her every 10 minutes, called her, sent her gifts and letters etc, I don't that for about 2 weeks, then I went to very little contact, started going out clubbing and having a good time, I can't remember how but one day we met up and talked for ages and ended up getting back together that night, this situation is very different, last time she said she wasn't in love with me anymore that's the reason for breaking up, and se said she got back with me because he felt intense jealousy and didn't want me to be with anyone else, after a while she fell back in love with me, this time she has openly told me she is still very much in love with me, and she has said if she had seen I had been with someone she woulda went insane with hurt, but the meeting didn't work out the way it did last time, maybe it's because we're older this time, were not children and such, well I have the solution to what went wrong, my problem is convincing her that I have it and I'm a better person, mainly because this has happened before, last time I said I changed and I was a better person and I was for a while and some things stuck, but I ended up being an idiot again so, need some good advice overall.

[leafguy]

Best advice...don't worry about her. Fix the issues that you perceive to be wrong with you, show that to her and if she comes around great...if she doesn't your that much better of a person for your next relationship.