thefooloftheyear Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 OK....Here is the real story.... -Your girl goes out once in a while, kicks it up a bit and has a little fun with her gf's.. No problem.. -Your girl drops 40 lb, gets her tits done, dyes her hair, gets a tattoo, buys some sexy outfits, and goes out with her gfs and kicks it up.. Problems.. Any questions? :laugh: TFY 1
Author irc333 Posted September 2, 2013 Author Posted September 2, 2013 These are probably the same women that post themselves in skimpy outfits or the "down the body" bikini photos by the pool/beach.
kaylan Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I am not into clubs myself but it sounds like men worry about their ladies going to the club sometimes just like wome nworry about their men going to strip clubs. If strip clubs are okay by you in a relationship, then you really have no place to say anything about a taken woman going to a regular club. Im not into strip clubs at all. Id say women have more reason to worry about strip clibs than men have reason to worry about clubs...especially given what a strip club is. Sometimes women go for fun with their friends, sometimes women go to get attention, sometimes they just go to dance. But just because women like attention from men (For shame those horrible horrible women!), that doesn't give any man the right to call her an bad name. It's funny how much men like when a woman wants attention from *him* but get all nasty when women like attention from men in general. It's also funny because men are pretty free with their attention and often give it to women they consider hot and attractive .MY woman shouldnt need attention from other men. The same way I dont need attention from other women when Im smitten or committed to a particular gal. 1
kaylan Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 ^As I said before, I wouldnt worry. Id just let a girl know that if she crosses my boundaries, shes gone. So she can either leave, be dumped, or respect the boundaries we both set in our relationship when it began. Same way Id fully expect to be dumped if I starting going to strip clubs (though I never would). The kind of women I like wouldnt put up with that crap. If I really wanted to go out and party, Id try and bring my gal with me. Or if it was a guys night out, Id make sure I stayed in good contact most of the night, because I know women can worry. 2
hotpotato Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Im not into strip clubs at all. Id say women have more reason to worry about strip clibs than men have reason to worry about clubs...especially given what a strip club is. MY woman shouldnt need attention from other men. The same way I dont need attention from other women when Im smitten or committed to a particular gal. But it's fine for men to give attention to women? If a woman only wanted a man to look at her she's an insecure, controlling, beeyatch, yadda yadda yadda. A man will tell a woman that is attention for other women doesn't affect how he feels for her. He still loves her and that's what matters. This is the thing that annoys me...Men are holding women to standards they dont hold for themselves, not even by a longshot.
KungFuJoe Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Where do you guys live? A lot of clubs in your area? I live in socal...Orange County to be specific. There are so many places to hit up clubs, bars, etc around here.... I wonder if a lot of attitudes around clubs/bars has to do with your geographical location. 1
kaylan Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 But it's fine for men to give attention to women? If a woman only wanted a man to look at her she's an insecure, controlling, beeyatch, yadda yadda yadda. A man will tell a woman that is attention for other women doesn't affect how he feels for her. He still loves her and that's what matters. This is the thing that annoys me...Men are holding women to standards they dont hold for themselves, not even by a longshot. Can you read what is written? Dont put words in my mouth. Didnt I JUST say I dont need attention from other women? Did I say Id be giving other women attention? NO I DID NOT. I dont practice double standards in my relationships. I expect what I give out. And a woman has every right to be upset if her man is giving attention to other girls. Id agree with her. Where does my post say I feel attention should be gotten outside of a relationship? Dont quote me and then make arguments against something I NEVER said. Make those arguments against other men. Not me. 1
Woggle Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Married women shouldn't go to clubs because men are horny. At least you are honest! Women, if you are taken, stay home and lock yourself in a cage. I never said that. I just said that it would be suspicious if she were frequently going to a known meat market all sexed up. I would expect her to think the same thing if I were always going to the same place looking like Mr Sauve player.
Woggle Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 But it's fine for men to give attention to women? If a woman only wanted a man to look at her she's an insecure, controlling, beeyatch, yadda yadda yadda. A man will tell a woman that is attention for other women doesn't affect how he feels for her. He still loves her and that's what matters. This is the thing that annoys me...Men are holding women to standards they dont hold for themselves, not even by a longshot. A taken man should not need attention from women either. Stop placing double standards here where there are none. I am not holding women to any standards I don't hold for myself. Married men easily can get laid much quicker in most clubs so if a taken man goes out looking his best just so he can flirt with women for validation damn right I expect a woman to raise holy hell. None of the men in here are saying that men shouldn't follow the same standards so where is this idea that we are controlling misogynists coming from? 1
Woggle Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Where do you guys live? A lot of clubs in your area? I live in socal...Orange County to be specific. There are so many places to hit up clubs, bars, etc around here.... I wonder if a lot of attitudes around clubs/bars has to do with your geographical location. I live at the Jersey Shore and if I went to Karma every weekend looking like Pauly D damn right my wife would worry. If it were one of the bars on the boardwalk she would not worry one bit and neither would I. It is all about the kind of place and the context in which they are going to that place. I used to tend bar in a trendy New York City meat market and anybody man or woman would have damn good reason to worry if there spouse was frequenting that place.
hotpotato Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 A taken man should not need attention from women either. Stop placing double standards here where there are none. I am not holding women to any standards I don't hold for myself. Married men easily can get laid much quicker in most clubs so if a taken man goes out looking his best just so he can flirt with women for validation damn right I expect a woman to raise holy hell. None of the men in here are saying that men shouldn't follow the same standards so where is this idea that we are controlling misogynists coming from? Shouldn't is different from reality. Taken men like attention from other women, enjoy giving it to other women, but the wife/gf at home is supposed to be fine with it. So women only go to clubs to flirt...Here we go again... Woggle, did you ever think that maybe some of the ladies here are upset with *being called sluts or other derogatory names or *being told we cant/shouldn't go somewhere because of someone else's sex drive?
Woggle Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Shouldn't is different from reality. Taken men like attention from other women, enjoy giving it to other women, but the wife/gf at home is supposed to be fine with it. So women only go to clubs to flirt...Here we go again... Woggle, did you ever think that maybe some of the ladies here are upset with *being called sluts or other derogatory names or *being told we cant/shouldn't go somewhere because of someone else's sex drive? I am a taken man and I don't flirt with other women. I don't know what other men do but if they think their wives should be okay with it it is wrong. Don't sit here and punish other men for the actions of those men which is what you are doing here. No men in this thread have said that they shouldn't be held to the same standards. 1
hotpotato Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I never said that. I just said that it would be suspicious if she were frequently going to a known meat market all sexed up. I would expect her to think the same thing if I were always going to the same place looking like Mr Sauve player. You didn't say that, but others have...How dare them sluts go to the club??? /sarc
kaylan Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 You didn't say that, but others have...How dare them sluts go to the club??? /sarc What the heck are you talking about? The guys in this thread who are against the idea of a gf/wife going clubbing have NOT said AT ALL that its ok for a man to do the same. How about you read the actually words men are typing in this thread, and not trying to put words in our mouths based on what other guys might have said who arent even engaged in this discussion. 1
hotpotato Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Can you read what is written? Dont put words in my mouth. Didnt I JUST say I dont need attention from other women? Did I say Id be giving other women attention? NO I DID NOT. I dont practice double standards in my relationships. I expect what I give out. And a woman has every right to be upset if her man is giving attention to other girls. Id agree with her. Where does my post say I feel attention should be gotten outside of a relationship? Dont quote me and then make arguments against something I NEVER said. Make those arguments against other men. Not me. You only have eyes for your SO? Seriously? Men notice women, and women like to be noticed. Men enjoy noticing women outside of a relationship, so why should women be satisfied with only her man's eyes? I guess I'm speaking more in generalities.
hotpotato Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 You are either very bad at listening or very bad at comprehension. I will be redundant and state my experiences: - I bartended for 1 year at a club that basically catered to an older crowd (25+). Many of these women were married or had a long-term boyfriend. They attempted to sleep with me or other bartenders, despite being committed. These women were both regulars and ones that I never saw before. - I'm 26 now. From ages 21 to around my 26th birthday, I went to clubs frequently. Again, MANY older women were all over me (cougars). They are quite common. Obviously, not all women go to clubs to sleep around, but MANY do, especially the women that frequent clubs, meaning they go more often that once per month. If my girlfriend was going to clubs often, I would definitely consider breaking up with her because from what I've seen in my vast club experience, many women go there, get drunk, and cheat. They proceed to blame it on the a-a-alcohol and their friends support that. Sorry, but that's the reality. I've personally witnessed it so many times that I can't even count. Bad comprehension? There are people in this thread using terms like 'bar skanks?'
hotpotato Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) What the heck are you talking about? The guys in this thread who are against the idea of a gf/wife going clubbing have NOT said AT ALL that its ok for a man to do the same. How about you read the actually words men are typing in this thread, and not trying to put words in our mouths based on what other guys might have said who arent even engaged in this discussion. Go back and read posts from the last few days... If what i said doesn't apply to you, dont reply. Not every guy was using the term bar skank, but some were. If you didn't, dont respond, but dont act like there aren't people in this thread being disrespectful. I will use examples from my own experience, if I want. Here's another things I've noticed. Men that are concerned what the wife is doing, are probably doing the same things x 10. Edited September 3, 2013 by hotpotato
hotpotato Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Where do you guys live? A lot of clubs in your area? I live in socal...Orange County to be specific. There are so many places to hit up clubs, bars, etc around here.... I wonder if a lot of attitudes around clubs/bars has to do with your geographical location. That's a good point. I live close a casino row, and each casino has at least one bar and at least one club. Then there are nearby clubs close to the casinos. There's really not a lot of other places to go if you want the live music, free booze (if you're a woman). If you're a woman, it's a great place to go with your girlfriends.
lino Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 I don't have a problem with my girlfriend going out to a bar or club all dressed up with her friends and without me. Don't care if she gets attention from other blokes or not, that's natural, but if she acts on it then she won't be my girlfriend any more.
Woggle Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 It's funny how the two of us who have tended bar can very much attest to the fact that much cheating goes on in these places. Don't you think having spent so much time in these places that we might know a thing or two? 3
KungFuJoe Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 It's funny how the two of us who have tended bar can very much attest to the fact that much cheating goes on in these places. Don't you think having spent so much time in these places that we might know a thing or two? I don't think anyone is denying that this kind of stuff happens in clubs. Anyways...if someone's SO is going out to bars/clubs every week without them...I think there are bigger problems at play than whether or not he/she is going to hook up while out. 1
Author irc333 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 I don't have a problem with my girlfriend going out to a bar or club all dressed up with her friends and without me. Don't care if she gets attention from other blokes or not, that's natural, but if she acts on it then she won't be my girlfriend any more. I think at the very most, she'll let guys feel her up on the dance floor, but that's probably the extent of it.
hotpotato Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 I don't think anyone is denying that this kind of stuff happens in clubs. Anyways...if someone's SO is going out to bars/clubs every week without them...I think there are bigger problems at play than whether or not he/she is going to hook up while out. Exactly. Some of those guys here just arent listening. I certainly never denied cheating could occur in a club. I dont recall any other ladies saying it couldnt or didnt happen either.
kaylan Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 (edited) You only have eyes for your SO? Seriously? Men notice women, and women like to be noticed. Men enjoy noticing women outside of a relationship, so why should women be satisfied with only her man's eyes? I guess I'm speaking more in generalities. Noticing attractive women is not that same as personally giving them attention. I can see an attractive girl, acknowledge in my mind that shes attractive, and then go about my own business. If im smitten I dont sit actively go out of my way to give other women attention by making it known that Im noticing them. And for the most part, Im not actively trying to look at attractive women. When Im single Im always on the prowl with my eyes and actions. When Im taken in some way, I tend to just go about my own business. Anyways this thread isnt just about noticing someone, its about people in relationships putting themselves in venues known for drinking and casual sex. You know, atmospheres that arent just about noticing people, but about acting on those feelings.Exactly. Some of those guys here just arent listening. I certainly never denied cheating could occur in a club. I dont recall any other ladies saying it couldnt or didnt happen either. What guys are having a problem with, is this admonishment of their distaste for a woman desiring to be in an atmosphere known for casual sex and cheating. Its like guys trying to dismiss a womans concerns regarding her boyfriend going to the bar/club or strip club without her. I personally wouldnt make bar hopping without my girlfriend a habit. Id respect her too much for that. Edited September 3, 2013 by kaylan 1
hotpotato Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 Noticing attractive women is not that same as personally giving them attention. I can see an attractive girl, acknowledge in my mind that shes attractive, and then go about my own business. Most of the time men dont merely acknowledge. I've seen it, and experienced it first hand. But still the flipside-why care if your wife/gf is being noticed by other men? It doesn't mean she's going to cheat because he's horny. If im smitten I dont sit actively go out of my way to give other women attention by making it known that Im noticing them. And for the most part, Im not actively trying to look at attractive women. I've seen and experienced otherwise from taken men. This is especially untrue if men are out somewhere with their friends. When Im single Im always on the prowl with my eyes and actions. When Im taken in some way, I tend to just go about my own business. Anyways this thread isnt just about noticing someone, its about people in relationships putting themselves in venues known for drinking and casual sex. You know, atmospheres that arent just about noticing people, but about acting on those feelings. What guys are having a problem with, is this admonishment of their distaste for a woman desiring to be in an atmosphere known for casual sex and cheating. Its like guys trying to dismiss a womans concerns regarding her boyfriend going to the bar/club or strip club without her. I personally wouldnt make bar hopping without my girlfriend a habit. Id respect her too much for that. Still, not listening. No one here has said it doesn't happen. I've already stated my gripes. Go back and read some of these posts. Men are flat out name calling women and saying women can't go to the club because men are horny. Why should women be punished because men have high sex drives and are indiscriminate about who they have sex with?
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