thefooloftheyear Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Do single men even enjoy clubs? Music and dancing? I'm concluding that many single men only go to meet women, and once married figure they finally can just sit on the couch all night every night. Why else wouldn't they be with their woman at the club? I dont drink(never did) and worked for years as a bouncer in clubs when I was in college, even crazy ones in NYC in the 80's..Being around drunken fools became so annoying for me..I hated clubs, but I knew if you wanted to get laid, then you went to a club and tried to find a willing participant, so I played along. I wouldnt have a problem with a SO or spouse going to a club for a few drinks with her friends..I would have a problem if she came home stone drunk.. I dont know if its demographics or a regional thing, but you really dont see married or committed women in clubs "partying" around here-at least not the ones in my circle of friends/relatives...Im older now, but it didnt happen back then(or it was very rare, anyway).Theyll get together with friends for dinner or hang out at Starbucks and BS, but dont do the bar scene.. YMMV TFY 2
PJKino Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Do single men even enjoy clubs? Music and dancing? No its basically a meat market thats the only appeal for men..waiting on long lines and paying a *****load for money and drinks really isnt too appetizing to most of us,if not for the lure of vagine i doubt many guys would go.. Perhaps a few gay guys would go for the love of dancing and bad techno music or something but otherwise no
bentleychic Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Maybe what I'm thinking of clubs and what you guys are thinking are different things. When I go, I ALWAYS go to see a band, whether local talent or famous. It's more like an event venue that just a drinking/dancing/pick up club. There's drinking, there's dancing and I'm sure there are pick ups, but it's more about the music/talent to me and hanging out with my friends than anything.
Woggle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I guess it depends on what type of club. If it is the kind that features live bands and good music then I would not have any suspicion but if she were dressing sexy every other night and coming home drunk and disheveled all the time yeah I would worry.' I worked as a bartender for a few years and the things I saw show me that some guys do have reasons to worry. I am not saying women should never have a social life but they aren't pulling this stuff out of thin air. 1
Author irc333 Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 You sound very bitter. So basically do you think if any woman goes out to a public place without her partner with her friends she is likely to cheat? And do you have the same opinion of men who go out without their partners? Well, let's put it this way, nothing ever good came of doing it. I knew this married male co-worker of mine , was married and had kid together, toddler aged....and the wife all of a sudden got the "itch" to start hitting the local night club, it was a small town country night club, but she started to do it a little too much and even coming home WAY to late at night....esp. for a mother of a young toddler. SHe was a young mother, probably regretted getting married, because all her 21 year old single friends were out having a blast. Eventually, he got a phone call from a friend of his who caught his wife "making out" with a guy on the dance floor. He got dressed, went to the night club, and subtly sat at the bar and watched her dance and grinding up against other men. She saw him, and she must've turned white as a ghost Needless to say, after that, their marriage pretty much went down the tubes. 2
xxoo Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I dont drink(never did) and worked for years as a bouncer in clubs when I was in college, even crazy ones in NYC in the 80's..Being around drunken fools became so annoying for me..I hated clubs, but I knew if you wanted to get laid, then you went to a club and tried to find a willing participant, so I played along. I wouldnt have a problem with a SO or spouse going to a club for a few drinks with her friends..I would have a problem if she came home stone drunk.. I dont know if its demographics or a regional thing, but you really dont see married or committed women in clubs "partying" around here-at least not the ones in my circle of friends/relatives...Im older now, but it didnt happen back then(or it was very rare, anyway).Theyll get together with friends for dinner or hang out at Starbucks and BS, but dont do the bar scene.. YMMV TFY I so rarely go....less than once every 3 years....but it's so much FUN! The music, the people watching, being loud, dancing like a fool and not caring. It makes me feel.....vibrant When we go, we go to gay clubs, so obviously not there for the men But we dress to the nines anyway! 1
kaylan Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) After bartending for a year and being a frequent club patron for much longer than that, I've come to the conclusion that women that go to clubs frequently go for two reasons: 1) casual sex (they will find the largest collection of alpha guys at clubs) 2) attention-whoring I've yet to meet one that goes there "just to dance". If they only cared about dancing, they would just stay home and dance in their living room. Kinda gonna agree with this. With how common cheating is, and with what Ive seen people in relationships do in front of me at bars and clubs...I dont really buy the whole "just going out with the guys/girls" excuse. If you enjoy music and dancing, you wouldnt be out often without your spouse in environments geared towards hooking up. My experiences with friends and acquaintances has shown me that people who are open to meeting new potential mates, frequent bars and clubs. The more faithful folks out there dont put themselves in situations that look suspicious or that could cause their relationship trouble. Women can bs all they want, but we know why you get dressed up and go to bars/clubs. The women who are invested in their relationships dont make alcohol infused sexual environments their frequent stomping grounds. Edited September 1, 2013 by kaylan 2
Author irc333 Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Right, chances are there are some underlying issues going on, like she's not entirely happy being around her spouse on a Sat. night. I mean, if you're going to go out dancing, do it with your boyfriends/spouses. Kinda gonna agree with this. With how common cheating is, and with what Ive seen people in relationships do in front of me at bars and clubs...I dont really buy the whole "just going out with the guys/girls" excuse. If you enjoy music and dancing, you wouldnt be out often without your spouse in environments geared towards hooking up. My experiences with friends and acquaintances has shown me that people who are open to meeting new potential mates, frequent bars and clubs. The more faithful folks out there dont put themselves in situations that look suspicious or that could cause their relationship trouble. Women can bs all they want, but we know why you get dressed up and go to bars/clubs. The women who are invested in their relationships dont make alcohol infused sexual environments their frequent stomping grounds. 1
kaylan Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I dont drink(never did) and worked for years as a bouncer in clubs when I was in college, even crazy ones in NYC in the 80's..Being around drunken fools became so annoying for me..I hated clubs, but I knew if you wanted to get laid, then you went to a club and tried to find a willing participant, so I played along. I wouldnt have a problem with a SO or spouse going to a club for a few drinks with her friends..I would have a problem if she came home stone drunk.. I dont know if its demographics or a regional thing, but you really dont see married or committed women in clubs "partying" around here-at least not the ones in my circle of friends/relatives...Im older now, but it didnt happen back then(or it was very rare, anyway).Theyll get together with friends for dinner or hang out at Starbucks and BS, but dont do the bar scene.. YMMV TFY This. The truly committed and trust worthy women Ive known in my life dont make partying a habit. So while I might be cool with a gf doing the bar/club thing every so often...Id be very turned off if she was going out to these venues without me a lot. 1
Author irc333 Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 Id be very turned off if she wasnt going out to these venues without me a lot. Agreed, dancing is an activity normally done with your partner, not people of the same sex. 1
Woggle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I can see why some people would be suspicious but if somebody is going to cheat they will in any setting. My ex would walk down the street and pick up guys to take home. Cheating is more about character than environment. 1
xxoo Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Right, chances are there are some underlying issues going on, like she's not entirely happy being around her spouse on a Sat. night. I mean, if you're going to go out dancing, do it with your boyfriends/spouses. Are there underlying issues if a partnered man watches the game with friends at the bar rather than on the couch with his woman?
Woggle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Are there underlying issues if a partnered man watches the game with friends at the bar rather than on the couch with his woman? I see your point but sports bars tend to sausage fests that are very focused on watching sports with mostly other men. It's similiar to women going shopping with each other. Nightclubs often tend to be very sexually charged enviroments. I have known men that cheat and almost none of them does it at sports bars while plenty of women cheat at nightclubs. 1
kaylan Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Are there underlying issues if a partnered man watches the game with friends at the bar rather than on the couch with his woman? Stop trying to equate sports with dancing. Watching sports with the boys is not different than girls getting together for their own tv nights. How about you compare dancing to dancing? If a guy goes to a sports bar to watch sports, usually there is mostly men there and NO dancing going on. People are usually seated, and you can actually listen to the game. Clubby bars with dancing would be a problem, and Id be ok with a girl getting annoyed if her guy was going to that kind of bar. A particular bar I go to in Manhattan is both of these types of bars. On Weeknights and Sundays its a bro sports bar. You can watch the games, hear the tv, and drink a pint with your lads. On friday and saturday nights, the music is loud, theres beer pong, and people dancing or looking for a mate. 1
xxoo Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I see your point but sports bars tend to sausage fests that are very focused on watching sports with mostly other men. It's similiar to women going shopping with each other. Nightclubs often tend to be very sexually charged enviroments. I have known men that cheat and almost none of them does it at sports bars while plenty of women cheat at nightclubs. I'm not saying they are the same. The assumption was that there are issues if a woman isn't happy at home with her husband on a Sat night. Are there issues if a man does anything other than stay home with his husband on a Sat night?
kaylan Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Id be in agreement with a woman getting pissed that her boyfriend frequented such a places on fridays and saturdays. If he was there during the week or sunday to watch the game with his boys, Id tell her theres nothing to worry about. So let me say again, you need to compare the right atmospheres. You cannot compare watching football with the boys in a predominantly male atmosphere, to girls night out where mixed gender people are trying to get drunk and laid. 1
xxoo Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Agreed, dancing is an activity normally done with your partner, not people of the same sex. It is completely normal for women to dance together to club music. It isn't ballroom dancing.
kaylan Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 It is completely normal for women to dance together to club music. It isn't ballroom dancing. You should see the guys make dance circles amongst each other when I go out. They egg each other on and start busting out funny moves too. College was even funnier when this happened. 1
Woggle Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I'm not saying they are the same. The assumption was that there are issues if a woman isn't happy at home with her husband on a Sat night. Are there issues if a man does anything other than stay home with his husband on a Sat night? The issue is going into a sexually charged environment where cheating happens very frequently. I saw plenty of things when I was a bartender. I overheard cell phone conversations with women telling their husbands to stop being insecure right before they went to the bathroom with another man. 2
xxoo Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 The issue is going into a sexually charged environment where cheating happens very frequently. I saw plenty of things when I was a bartender. I overheard cell phone conversations with women telling their husbands to stop being insecure right before they went to the bathroom with another man. And you saw hundreds of women out with the girls over the years that did nothing but have some drinks, share laughs, watch the guys try to out-dance each other in their drunken circle dance, and go home refreshed and happy. Question for the OP---did the women you met that night do anything inappropriate at the club, other than being there?
ThaWholigan Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 The whole women in clubs thing is so over-exaggerated it's funny. It must be different in US. There is a level of truth to the idea, but generally most of the girls I knew that had BFs used to dance with the other girls, drink, and still went home to f*ck their BFs. Granted, I've also seen the opposite on occasion, but some of the things I'm reading in here, you'd think that going to clubs was an act of deceit in itself . A lot of women who frequent clubs while single, will usually do it while taken - the ones who were never that much bothered will get tired of it whether they are taken or not. Those women generally are energized by being around people, and enjoy company - so just dancing around in their houses drunk with a couple friends will lose it's appeal. It is about meeting new people to an extent. If you have trouble with girls who like that, then it's obviously not for you as you will always have that level of mistrust even if there's no other reason to be suspicious of her frequenting clubs. If you have bad experiences with women, you'll probably be mistrustful anyway. If it is problematic, just date girls who don't club often. (Another day, another one of these kind of threads on here ) 3
thefooloftheyear Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Are there underlying issues if a partnered man watches the game with friends at the bar rather than on the couch with his woman? With all due respect, If I go to a sports club with a few of my friends to catch a UFC fight or a big NFL game, we go dissheveled, unshaven, ball cap on backwards, pigging out on junk food, scratching our balls and having a few laughs. Its a cock fest...no hens anywhere.... TFY
xxoo Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 With all due respect, If I go to a sports club with a few of my friends to catch a UFC fight or a big NFL game, we go dissheveled, unshaven, ball cap on backwards, pigging out on junk food, scratching our balls and having a few laughs. Its a cock fest...no hens anywhere.... TFY It might be my middle-upper class suburban area, but I've never been to a sports bar as seedy as described here. Everyone looks nice at the ones I've been to. The young professional crowd, anyway. And c'mon, you guys KNOW how sexy unshaven can be If I were a single woman, I'd be heading to the sports bars! 1
Leigh 87 Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 When I am taken, I choose to not get super drunk, unless it is at home with, say, a best friend. A best GIRL friend.... I would certainly not get super drunk at a CLUB, where people are all dancing all over each other. I would never cheat but it is asking for trouble. I do travel overseas when I can and like to party but, without a boyfriend. WITH a boyfriend? I would go out but not drink much at all. I would barley get tipsy. I would not get to the stage where I was drunk.
Recommended Posts