Why do taken women still desire to hit the clubs?

[thefooloftheyear]

i went out tonight with my daughter it was a hotel with six levels.....there was a beer garden thing and they had a cover duo playing and then they had popular music......and a cocktail lounge ......etc

 

 

i am actually single......not interested in getting grinded on regardless of my status...i drank water all night and danced my bottom off......a couple of times while i was dancing with a group of females.....i would sense the guy coming up behind me, because they would stand away a bit and watch for an opening..i could feel them staring sizing me up...i got negged as well i just told him to go away.........guys tried to pop up to the side of me and beside me by the time their little drunk heads have figured out which side to approach...i have already blocked them by squeezing in between other females o rturning to dance with another female so my side turned into my back.......my daughter thought i was pretty smooth they look a bit confused then they spaghetti dance over to the next victim.......anyone can go have fun and dance or go to clubs.....if you dont drink and just have fun you wont be as susceptible o rvulnerable to making a huge mistake......also when you are totally straight and see spaghetti armed drunk guys thinking they are micheal jackson grabbing their crotch and winking suggestively...you afre in no way tempted to go near them.......i dont need to drink to dance...if i had a partner i would understand why he might get upset though....i woudl hope he knew that i am 100 per cent trustworthy ........i also can handle myself..deb

 

Cmon, deb...you mean no twerking for you??

 

TFY

[clia]

Well, I'll admit I've never been to one of the clubs full of druggies and shady people mentioned. But I have been to lots of different types of places with varying degrees of lighting that play music and serve alcohol.

 

In my experience, as a woman who has had a guy occasionally attempt that cr*p, most guys at clubs don't behave that way. Most dance near you and then ask if you want to dance with them before attempting to get close. For the socially inept ones who think it's okay to walk up and grope a random woman, they usually get the message and go away quickly, because they don't want to make it any more obvious that they were rejected. Some need to be embarrassed a bit to get that the behavior is not cool. For the rare few that just absolutely don't get the message, that's what my friends and I always appreciated having a male friend along for.

 

Yep, this. Most guys realize that it's rude to be grinding on a girl without her permission. There are always a couple of completely socially inept dudes lurking around the edges of the dance floor and moving in on a pack of girls who are just trying to dance and enjoy themselves. Then the girls inevitably reject the guy, and he moves back to the edge of the dance floor until he can spot another pack of girls to move in on. I actually rather like watching these guys. Really funny stuff. They are usually by themself. These types of guys exist at bars, clubs, and lounges -- anywhere with a dance floor.

[chucksagent]

Actually, after a moments thought, if there was any place where a guy was being disrespectful and wouldn't leave me alone, a club would be the easiest to get them to quit or get punished for what they did. There are always several bouncers around the dance floor who will keep people in line. Unless a guy is really out of line, they won't call for the police, but they'll rough him up a bit and ruin his evening by throwing him out.

 

At the grocery store, a convention or subway, by the time I got to someone I could report the guy to, he would be long gone and have no consequences. Even if there was video tape evidence, I'd have to sit around for hours for the police to take the report on the off chance they could ever figure out who the guy in the grainy footage actually was.

 

You're selling me on a visit to a club this weekend, chucksagent. I've been working so much that I rarely get to go out. I might just call up the girls and head out in your honor.

 

TheWayIAm - Very good couple of posts....I actually agreed with a lot of it. But I think you missed my BIG PICTURE point about the grinding in grocery store vs. club...Lol.

 

My whole point is how often will a guy in a subway, grocery store or movie theatre ACTUALLY do that???? It's club culture (and proves it is) BECAUSE they do it. Now for those of you from SoCal who say gentleman always ask...THATS HOW IT SHOULD BE...where I'm from though, the club culture is (and many of you also said you've dealt with this) grind/touch first, ask permission later (if at all/get denied). That's why I disagreed with you all when you said "It's dangerous going anywhere. I could be hit on at a grocery store, movie theatre, subway etc." And I said "That's true. However, that's VERBAL hitting on, not groping, feeling, etc. Which is the point I was trying to make...getting hit on would happen literally ANYWHERE...but the physical/groping/grinding ONLY happens in a club.......think NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY.....took place in a club, not in a restaurant or movie theatre or grcoery store or shopping mall.

[chucksagent]

And I'm not calling any of you liars. But I think you may be a bit naive when you say "Drug users never go to clubs I go to."

 

Cocaine and Ecstasy were the biggest club drugs in history. Nowadays there are even more drugs people take to enhance their clubbing experience.

 

Maybe you guys go to clubs in utopia...on my planet these are not clean/fruitful/ classy places. Now I'm not including HIGH END clubs where rappers and wannabe thugs go...I'm not talking about Vegas clubs. I'm talking about local clubs.

 

What Drugs You Like Depends On Where You Go Dancing [infographic]

A graphical look at clubgoers' preferences in the US and UK

What Drugs You Like Depends On Where You Go Dancing [infographic] | Popular Science

[clia]

And I'm not calling any of you liars. But I think you may be a bit naive when you say "Drug users never go to clubs I go to."

 

I'm not saying it's not going on, but I haven't personally seen it. You make it sound like people are off shooting heroin in the corner or something and wandering around the place like a strung out homeless person. I have no doubt that some people at some of the clubs I've been to may have been on coke or X, but I don't think it's the majority, and I don't think it is any different at any bar or lounge. You will always have a few people imbibing in something illegal at any place like that. But I wouldn't necessarily call them "druggies." I know plenty of attorneys who do coke every now and then when they go out, and I wouldn't call them druggies.

 

Maybe you guys go to clubs in utopia...on my planet these are not clean/fruitful/ classy places. Now I'm not including HIGH END clubs where rappers and wannabe thugs go...I'm not talking about Vegas clubs. I'm talking about local clubs.

 

I guess I must be going to high end clubs, then, because the places I go are clean, classy places. If I go to a club, it is in Chicago (where I live) or Vegas. I might hit a club if I was visiting New York. None of these places are utopia. That's why I'm really not getting your point at all about how terrible these places are. Some of them are extremely cool. Can you provide the name of a club that is like what you are talking about so I can look it up? How is a local club different from a high end club?

[chucksagent]

The main difference between high end clubs and local clubs would be the clientele. Local clubs don't have $1000 bottle service. Not many people are showing up in limo's at local clubs. I don't live in a big city. Rich people have something to lose. Rich people go to high end clubs (if at all). Poor people who go to low end clubs have nothing to lose. It's why you always see cop cars and arrests made at small clubs in small towns. The riff raff that go there are trouble.

[The Way I Am]

My whole point is how often will a guy in a subway, grocery store or movie theatre ACTUALLY do that???? It's club culture (and proves it is) BECAUSE they do it.

 

At least where I live, grinding without asking or at least making eye contact and getting a non-verbal acknowledgement doesn't happen that frequently.

 

The surprise grinders are usually by themselves or with only one friend. They're the kind of guys you almost feel bad for because they don't' know how to talk to a girl. They hover around the edge of the dance floor. They try it on one girl, strike out, go back to hovering for 15-20 minutes. Repeat that once or twice then disappear. On a busy night, there might be a couple sets of the creepers.

 

Like clia said, the "surprise you from behind" grinders are easy to spot. Usually, you'll see them coming and can avoid them and warn your friends when one is on the approach. If a woman knows what to look out for, it's pretty rare to get a guy grinding on you without permission. They do once in awhile catch you by surprise though. It happened to me maybe a handful of times in 5+ years of going to clubs.

 

If you count all the attempts these guys are making on all girls, then yeah, it literally happens all the time. But for every 4-5 girls who got violated by the socially-inept creepers, there are a couple hundred other girls in that same club that night who didn't have that experience.

 

Yeah, it happens more often than in an environment where no one is dancing. But it doesn't happen frequently enough for me to decided everyone who isn't single should stay out of clubs.

 

And I'm not calling any of you liars. But I think you may be a bit naive when you say "Drug users never go to clubs I go to."

 

Didn't say that. Maybe I misunderstood you, but it sounded to me like you were describing an atmosphere where most people are publicly smoking weed and snorting coke off the tables. That doesn't happen. On occasion, I've smelled weed in the club. (Maybe it happens often in the outside smoking areas. I wouldn't know, because I avoid smoke.)

 

Obviously people who use drugs go to clubs. But people who use drugs also go to grocery stores and might some might be brave enough to smoke a joint right outside of one. I've worked at legit corporations with people who use drugs. In college, I worked at a grocery store with a guy who was on probation for selling drugs.

 

I'm not going to limit where I go based on the fact that a person who does drugs goes there. If we count weed, which I do because it's an illegal substance and I don't use illegal substances, I literally could never leave my house.

 

Maybe you guys go to clubs in utopia...on my planet these are not clean/fruitful/ classy places. Now I'm not including HIGH END clubs where rappers and wannabe thugs go...I'm not talking about Vegas clubs. I'm talking about local clubs.

 

Your clubs must be really different than OC clubs and the few I went to in LA. I consider Vegas clubs to be shadier not classier.

Edited September 27, 2013 by The Way I Am

[Got it]

Serial Muse - Dancing is PERFECTLY ok...heck, I encourage it. But do what clean, wealthy, classy, esteemed, respectable people do....Take dance lessons, Dance at a Lounge or a nice bar, have a party at your house with dancing...

 

Why does nobody mention lounges? Lounges are dance clubs which are slightly better luminated, with older/more mature/respectful people, cheaper drinks, and NOT THE ASSUMPTION people are here to hook up.

 

Muse, I'm not the only one ASSUMING things that go on at a club. Why do you think MEN GO THERE? Cause we NEED THE ART OF DAYHNCE (dance said arrogantly) like all you women? "We need to just let our hair down and dance you guys!"

 

No, men go to prey on WOMEN!!!! It's why its called a MEAT MARKET or a SINGLES CLUB! BECAUSE OF ITS REPUTATION!!!!

 

It's like saying "Yeah, I go to that Meth Den, but honestly sweetheart, I don't do Meth."

 

Or "Yeah, I went to that keg party, but didn't drink anything." Guy on a diet "Yeah hunny, I went to Krispy Kreme but didn't get a dognut...JUST the coffee."

 

Meth Den - KNOWN FOR METH

Keg Party - KNOWN FOR BEER

Krispy KReme - KNOWN FOR DOGNUTS

 

You can dance ANYWHERE...Clubs are KNOWN FOR GRINDING/GETTING DRUNK/SINGLES MINGLING...sounds like a great place to go when you are in a committed relationship. Hey, why should you give it up right? You can do WHATEVER you want, you're an adult, and that's good enough for me!

 

Yes, those that are over the age of 60, engaged folks planning for their wedding, again people who are all about the blue plate special who remember actual lounges, or are teenagers who can't go anywhere else so hold parties with dancing at their house.

 

Yes because never seen people cross lines at the old neighborhood block party. I did lifeguard as a teen, so lots of bad behavior at the old pool house.

[Got it]

The main difference between high end clubs and local clubs would be the clientele. Local clubs don't have $1000 bottle service. Not many people are showing up in limo's at local clubs. I don't live in a big city. Rich people have something to lose. Rich people go to high end clubs (if at all). Poor people who go to low end clubs have nothing to lose. It's why you always see cop cars and arrests made at small clubs in small towns. The riff raff that go there are trouble.

 

Wow, the assumptions, stereotypes, and just erroneous information here is just mind blowing.

[chucksagent]

I gotta go to the strip club tonight with my boys. I have no choice because it's guys night and my guys only wanna go to the strip club. Also, the football game will be on at the strip club, so that's the only reason Iwanna go. All the naked women won't effect me at all. Where else am I supposed to watch the game with my boys if that's where they want to go?

 

Maybe turning things around will make you ladies see it from our point of you a little better.

[hotpotato]

I gotta go to the strip club tonight with my boys. I have no choice because it's guys night and my guys only wanna go to the strip club. Also, the football game will be on at the strip club, so that's the only reason Iwanna go. All the naked women won't effect me at all. Where else am I supposed to watch the game with my boys if that's where they want to go?

 

Maybe turning things around will make you ladies see it from our point of you a little better.

 

Ok so are there naked menz at sports bars/bars/clubs?

Women arent going to clubs to see naked menz.

[Got it]

Jeez I have been missing out! All these naked menz and I have never seen them. Damn! Who knew!?! Must be all those high falutin' rich clubs I keep hearing about; gonna get me some of that when I win the lottery.

[emva07]

I'm at the club right now (bar break) and men I had forgotten how

Good it feels to just salsa dance and have a good time! Though I must admit now that I'm single I get frisky during the hop hop and regetton. So sexy.

[irc333]

The surprise grinders are usually by themselves or with only one friend. They're the kind of guys you almost feel bad for because they don't' know how to talk to a girl. They hover around the edge of the dance floor. They try it on one girl, strike out, go back to hovering for 15-20 minutes. Repeat that once or twice then disappear. On a busy night, there might be a couple sets of the creepers.

 

Like clia said, the "surprise you from behind" grinders are easy to spot. Usually, you'll see them coming and can avoid them and warn your friends when one is on the approach. If a woman knows what to look out for, it's pretty rare to get a guy grinding on you without permission. They do once in awhile catch you by surprise though. It happened to me maybe a handful of times in 5+ years of going to clubs.

 

Funny thing, I recall a "Surprise Grinder" before at a night club. It was kind of close quarters and this rather attractive woman was in front of me, but facing away from me. I thought nothing of it and was just dancing solo in the group...my friends were on the floor too.

 

Well, she starts inching closer and closer and I could feel her booty on me, and I figured she'd move away because I thought she maybe didn't realize what she was doing, but she was close enough for me to feel her but pressing up against me.

 

I didn't touch her for a good minute and then I decided to put my hand on her waist, then she started really getting into it and other men on the dancefloor was watching us.

 

Was quite a thrill when a woman takes the initiative. lol

[chucksagent]

That made me LOL. What lies.

 

ke.ir.a - What do you mean? No no no...honest...scouts honor...The women there have NO EFFECT on me going there...I mean, after all, the strip club is the ONLY place I can watch the football game with my boys! Nudity or not, we all know what naked people look like, we are all adults. Maybe I will go to a non fully nude club (yes they are real) to make things a little bit even. I can't watch the game at a bar, friends house, or home because only OLD PEOPLE do that.

 

Lol. Do you see how stupid and silly these excuses sound in reverse?

 

"It's only the art of dahnce (dance in arrogant voice) if done in a dark club with horny men about. Dancing done elsewhere isn't dancing at all!!! Just cheap imitations!"

[irc333]

.I mean, after all, the strip club is the ONLY place I can watch the football game with my boys!

 

The ONLY place? Quite lying dude, there are plenty of bars and grills that have that kind of thing showing on TV. You're just trollin' lol

[The Way I Am]

I gotta go to the strip club tonight with my boys. I have no choice because it's guys night and my guys only wanna go to the strip club.

 

Have fun!

 

Maybe turning things around will make you ladies see it from our point of you a little better.

 

See what? That you're being ridiculous? I saw that a long time ago. My bf can go to strip clubs any time he wants, and he knows that. I don't care what other guys might do when they're at a strip club. I trust my bf. If I didn't, I wouldn't be with him. He doesn't need to make any excuses to go to one.

 

I mean, after all, the strip club is the ONLY place I can watch the football game with my boys!

 

It baffles me that in your mind, this is the inverse of dancing at clubs. Apparently where ever you live not only has dancing at places that aren't clubs but also has strip clubs that show football games. Where ever you are is definitely not like where I've lived. Because in the 2 areas of the US I've lived we call any place with a dance floor a club, and if the strip clubs even have a TV, it's showing random graphics to the music.

Edited September 30, 2013 by The Way I Am

[atreides]

Why do married men go to sports bars with the guys? They can watch football in their living room!

 

LOL, I have an easy answer for that, almost all of the married men I know have wives that don't allow "the guys" to hang out in the living room, drinking beer and getting loud especially if they have kids. So the guys go into the garage which means it's a 17 inch hung on the garage wall if they are lucky. Watching the game in the garage next to a lawn mower and no AC gets old.

[chucksagent]

The ONLY place? Quite lying dude, there are plenty of bars and grills that have that kind of thing showing on TV. You're just trollin' lol

 

hahaha yeah I know, I'm just joking. I'm trying to make a point that MUCH like I can watch a football game many places, the art of dance can also be partaken many places. Haha.

[skydiveaddict]

But...anyhow, regardless, I sometimes wonder the desire to hit clubs and bars is really all that interesting to a woman that's already "taken"

 

Don't fool yourself. They love the attention. They may pretend that they don't, but it's a cheap lie. Don't buy it.

[The Way I Am]

Ah... So sad how many stereotypes you guys cling to.

 

hahaha yeah I know, I'm just joking. I'm trying to make a point that MUCH like I can watch a football game many places, the art of dance can also be partaken many places. Haha.

 

Such as?

 

You really don't get how it's complete nonsense to compare one factual statement to a complete lie?

 

The fact is that is you want to go dancing without someone having to go to the hassle of hosting a f*cking party, the only place to go is a club. Just because you have different names for places than other people, doesn't make it so. If a place has a dance floor, it is called a club. Bars don't have dance floors. Lounges are things that existed through the 1950's. Hence, there is literally no other place to go dancing.

 

Not only is a strip club not the only place you can go out to watch a football game, they don't even show sports at strip clubs. Saying you're going to a strip club to watch sports would be a complete lie. I've been to several with female strippers -- sometimes with only female friends on girl's nights out. There's absolutely no validity to your comparison.

 

What I find strange is that you think it's better for women to host a party at their house for dancing than going to a club. Which is pretty backward. If a woman hosts a party, it's going to be a bunch of people she knows -- including guys that she knows. It's a higher probability that an ex or some acquaintance that she had a crush on at some point will find out and show up for the party. How is that less temptation than going where the guys are likely to be strangers the woman has zero interest in?

 

It's obvious that your fear of clubs is so completely irrational that I kind of feel bad for you at this point.

Edited September 30, 2013 by The Way I Am

[hotpotato]

I'm cool with a guy going to a bar to watch the game.

 

That's less I have to cook, less food and beer I have to buy, less cleaning for me.

 

Sounds like a win-win situation!

[chucksagent]

The Way I Am - YOU CAN CONTROL WHO YOU INVITE TO A PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

You can't control who shows up at a club.

 

And since "allegedly" it's all these girls who just NEED the art of dancing with their "girls" then you INVITE only your "girls."

 

Unless, as Skydiveaddict pointed out, it's all about male attention.

 

Skydiveaddict - I couldn't have said it better myself. I have ALWAYS viewed that "we need to go to the club to dance" as a giant lie that females told themselves, significant others and friends to justify doing something that is questionable at best.

[piggyoink]

Ah... So sad how many stereotypes you guys cling to.

 

 

 

Such as?

 

You really don't get how it's complete nonsense to compare one factual statement to a complete lie?

 

The fact is that is you want to go dancing without someone having to go to the hassle of hosting a f*cking party, the only place to go is a club. Just because you have different names for places than other people, doesn't make it so. If a place has a dance floor, it is called a club. Bars don't have dance floors. Lounges are things that existed through the 1950's. Hence, there is literally no other place to go dancing.

 

Not only is a strip club not the only place you can go out to watch a football game, they don't even show sports at strip clubs. Saying you're going to a strip club to watch sports would be a complete lie. I've been to several with female strippers -- sometimes with only female friends on girl's nights out. There's absolutely no validity to your comparison.

 

What I find strange is that you think it's better for women to host a party at their house for dancing than going to a club. Which is pretty backward. If a woman hosts a party, it's going to be a bunch of people she knows -- including guys that she knows. It's a higher probability that an ex or some acquaintance that she had a crush on at some point will find out and show up for the party. How is that less temptation than going where the guys are likely to be strangers the woman has zero interest in?

 

It's obvious that your fear of clubs is so completely irrational that I kind of feel bad for you at this point.

 

With a palm on a bible, I hereby and solemnly declare, with a touch of formality, +1

[chucksagent]

Not unfounded at all.

 

I want a dark and loud place where I can watch the football game. Plain and simple. Don't complicate this folks.

 

Sports bars aren't dark/loud enough. I can't really ENJOY the game if it's not dark and loud.

 

And don't tell me to turn down the lights and blast music at my own house, that would just be ridiculous, right? Didn't you say it'd be ridiculous to play music and dance at your own home? Well, since you declared that dancing is dumb at your own home, I will declare watching football at you own home is dumb too.

 

There's just something about being in a dark and loud place that isn't your own home and drinking excessively around horny women that really make the experience irreplaceable anywhere else....um....ut oh, I mean, scratch that, the horny women have NOTHING to do with it, uh, um, uh, what do I do, well, it's not like I can just turn my lights down and turn the volume up, that's stupid, uh, so yeah, since it's, uh, stupid, I need to go ELSEWHERE...and since sports bars aren't dark and loud with flashy lights, I need to go to the strip club since they have all that stuff.