Why do taken women still desire to hit the clubs?

[chucksagent]

Vellocet - I also do not go to strip clubs. It's probably because we aren't hypocrites. We are men who live by our actions; not children who behave and act only in our own self interest.

[thefooloftheyear]

Well …that doesn't say that a person has no choice but to go to clubs. It's also not in this thread. Why are you "refuting" it here?

 

Anyway, this thread appears to be asking WOMEN why they go to clubs if they're "taken" (a term that troubles me in itself, but whatever) and plenty of WOMEN have given reasons why. And we know your opinion. That has nothing to do with women's actual reasons, though.

 

 

You mean to tell me you've never been taken??...

 

TFY

[The Way I Am]

MME Chaucer. That was what the person I REFUTED posted, not a post that I made.

 

Wow. Really. You're taking my completely sarcastic and hyperbolic post that was in another thread in response to you making idiotic suggestions on what women were and weren't allowed to do and claiming that I said if women couldn't go to clubs there was nothing else they could do?

 

You apparently have still failed to miss the point. Which is that you assume that just because a woman is going to a club, they're going to have random men grinding on them and/or cheat. That is not the case for EVERY woman who ever goes to a club. If we're limiting what we can do based only on the fact that some men/women use that activity to cheat we might as well all stay inside our houses and never speak to members of the opposite sex. Because ANY activity can be a means of cheating.

 

I find more and more women to be the biggest hypocrites going today...They don't want to be judged because "Adults can do whatever they want."

 

Yet...EVERY WOMAN I KNOW mocks video games, fantasy football, pro wrestling, Dungeons & Dragons, etc. Anything they deem "nerdy" or "childish" they find unsuitable and a waste of time. Yet, when men do these activities, they are 100% clean/safe and doesn't effect anyone. Just hypocrisy all the way around.

 

If this is true, I would never be friends with any of the women you know.

[The Way I Am]

Also, isn't it funny how you would ALWAYS see drunk/stumble/fall down girls at the club? Upskirt shots because they are falling over a mess...guys preying on them like vultures...going out into the parking lot or occasionally right on the dance floor...all sorts of grinding all over the club...

 

YET...

 

Whenever this discussion is had between clubbing people, you ONLY have the angels and perfect people of the world discussing it. LMFAO. You never get any of the trainwrecks. It's always the "I'm always 100% in control of my actions and I have never and will never randomly hook up with a guy at a club."

 

It's amazing how that works. They must all be hiding in their den of shame refusing to post to message boards or discuss/debate this issue in real life.

 

I highly suspect most people who are walking train wrecks aren't introspective enough to have the hobby of discussing interpersonal/relationship matters.

[The Way I Am]

I can't listen to some one that speaks in platitudes. Anyone who says " all men xxxxxxxxxx " or " all men are like xxxxxxxxx " really doesn't have a place in a conversation.

 

If I said all women are xxxxxxxxxx I would NEVER get away with it on this forum.

 

You actually have this completely backwards. Especially if we are talking about this forum. Strip clubs are unacceptable in the eyes of women, but dance clubs are. I don't really understand the logic there, nor did I really care enough to bring it up as an arguing point, but I HAD to correct you on that one, because your stretching the truth to fit your argument .

 

*cough* *cough*

[cocorico]

I was out with some friends the other night, it was Meetup event, and one of the ladies brought 5 more rather attractive women to the group...most of the people in said group are spoken for or kind of older in years.

 

So it was nice to see a series of fresh new faces to get to know.

 

Well, turns out one of them was married, another engaged, and the rest had boyfriends.

 

Buzzkill, but I still flirted regardless since, well, it was a "Girls Night Out" for them and well, if he ain't around what would the boyfriend know, right?

 

I didn't flirt with the married or engaged one, but one with the boyfriends...well, boyfriends always come and go.

 

But...anyhow, regardless, I sometimes wonder the desire to hit clubs and bars is really all that interesting to a woman that's already "taken" but, I wonder if said women get tired of being hit on by legitimately single guys and will just stay at home or find non-night club related activities to do.

 

I even asked one of the said women to join me in a dance (the one that had a boyfriend), and she complied...so at least I got some fun out of it. LOL

 

But it can be frustrating for guys regardless.

 

They left early, and the rest of our regulars stayed around and I said to one o f them, "Man, I can't believe they all had boyfriends and crap".

 

And he was like "Meh, they always do" lol

 

So the assumption is, no woman ever goes to a club or pub unless she's on the prowl? Interesting. They should teach us that at school. "Do not go out unless you want to get hit on. This applies particularly to any venue dispensing alcohol, but could apply also to: shopping, eating out (alone or with girl friends), going to movies (alone or with girlfriends), walking the dog, playing sport, participating in any recreational activity... In fact, anything, anywhere at all, unless obviously accompanied by a man."

 

Yep, make it explicit so we know our place.

[chucksagent]

cocorico - C'mon now. Let's not get cute here. YES you can get hit on in ANY of those forums. But those forums aren't called SINGLES grocery stores...SINGLES restaurants...SINGLES movie theaters. Dance clubs are commonly known as "Singles Clubs" or "Meat Markets." So please do not try and lump these together, it's counter productive for the discussion.

 

MME chaucer & others - Just so I understand. You are all convinced that when it comes to cheating, there are only 2 categories of people. People who PLAN to cheat and enjoy it...and people who would NEVER EVER EVER cheat (my hero...loving embrace)...

 

I think that's faulty/illogical/unrealistic/immature/self serving thinking (not saying all of those, but probably one or two of them)...I've said it before...I think human beings can make mistakes or faulter. I don't think EVERY person who has EVER cheated, walked out of there house and said "ya know what I want to do today, I want to cheat on the person I love."

 

And I think "clubbin" is the perfect storm of where people can faulter. That's why I don't think committed people should do it.

 

I understand those of you who disagree feel so because girls should do whatever they want, alcohol doesn't make you do stupid things, and it's the only place to dance with friends. It all makes total sense from your side of things.

[serial muse]

And my wife and her friends don't gamble. Not sure what casino's are like where you guys live...but at our casino's, they have shows, shops, bar/restaurants, good sushi, live bands, etc. So lots of people go there to NOT gamble, but enjoy entertainment. But even if she did gamble (which she doesn't) I would rather her drop $100 in a slot machine then get felt up by some creep. So for you to say the casino is worse than a club is insane.

 

But it makes perfect sense to ASSUME that going to a club = getting felt up by some creep. All that other stuff is OK, but not dancing. Are we in Footloose suddenly?

 

Arbitrary, arbitrary, arbitrary.

 

Edited to add:

 

I understand those of you who disagree feel so because girls should do whatever they want, alcohol doesn't make you do stupid things, and it's the only place to dance with friends. It all makes total sense from your side of things.

 

Well, no, the argument isn't "girls should do whatever they want". The argument is that going dancing ("clubbing", in your parlance) isn't necessarily the be-all and end-all of evil, certainly not compared with some of the other activities you seem to find a-ok. I suppose your wife and her friends don't drink when they go to the casino/bars? I certainly hope they never dance when they're listening to that live music. That would be awful. Because you know, alcohol might make you do stupid things. I guess it all makes total sense from your side of things? Because to me, it's a bizarre line in the sand you've drawn.

Edited September 27, 2013 by serial muse

[chucksagent]

Serial Muse - Dancing is PERFECTLY ok...heck, I encourage it. But do what clean, wealthy, classy, esteemed, respectable people do....Take dance lessons, Dance at a Lounge or a nice bar, have a party at your house with dancing...

 

Why does nobody mention lounges? Lounges are dance clubs which are slightly better luminated, with older/more mature/respectful people, cheaper drinks, and NOT THE ASSUMPTION people are here to hook up.

 

Muse, I'm not the only one ASSUMING things that go on at a club. Why do you think MEN GO THERE? Cause we NEED THE ART OF DAYHNCE (dance said arrogantly) like all you women? "We need to just let our hair down and dance you guys!"

 

No, men go to prey on WOMEN!!!! It's why its called a MEAT MARKET or a SINGLES CLUB! BECAUSE OF ITS REPUTATION!!!!

 

It's like saying "Yeah, I go to that Meth Den, but honestly sweetheart, I don't do Meth."

 

Or "Yeah, I went to that keg party, but didn't drink anything." Guy on a diet "Yeah hunny, I went to Krispy Kreme but didn't get a dognut...JUST the coffee."

 

Meth Den - KNOWN FOR METH

Keg Party - KNOWN FOR BEER

Krispy KReme - KNOWN FOR DOGNUTS

 

You can dance ANYWHERE...Clubs are KNOWN FOR GRINDING/GETTING DRUNK/SINGLES MINGLING...sounds like a great place to go when you are in a committed relationship. Hey, why should you give it up right? You can do WHATEVER you want, you're an adult, and that's good enough for me!

[chucksagent]

And to those of you who are too dense to see the obvious difference between grocery store, movie Theater and a dance club...allow me to educate you.

 

If a guy comes up to you and rubs his genitals on your butt in a dance club = that's a drunk Friday night.

 

If a guy comes up to you and rubs his genitals on your butt in a movie theater or a grocery store = that's sexual assault and he's going to be arrested and put on websites listing sexual predators.

 

In a club - it's "grinding" and it's harmless...(socially acceptable)...other places, It's Sexual Assault and a very serious crime.

 

Does this kinda spell it out for you a little better? Maybe it cleared up any confusion for you all.

[chucksagent]

I'm one of those CRAZY/CONTROLLING cavemen types who has a problem with his wife being sexually assaulted on a Friday night...crazy me, what is she going to do with me? Shouldn't I get that she's an adult and and can do anything she wants?! Wow, I'm such a jerk. All she wants to do is get her Dance on for crying out loud!!!! And lord knows, to sate the never ending thirst to dance, it can only be quenched on the floor of da club!

[chucksagent]

If some dude kept following you girls around at a grocery store or movie theater trying to grind on your butt, you MAY/PROBABLY would call the cops or tell a manager...and you would tell everyone that would listen that the guy is "stalking" you...

 

At a dance club...its flattering and harmless flirting...because he's buying you drinks.

 

Again, tell yourselves whatever BS makes you sleep better at night. But these points I'm making are gold, and I'm doing it for free no less (no clue why)...probably because I hate injustice and people who kid themselves. But these facts and situations and hypothetical I've presented are rock solid and flawless.

[chucksagent]

From Urban Dictionary - I realize it's trying to be funny - but many of you have said "Where do you guys get this image of the club from?" It's the image MOST people have of the club.

 

1. nightclub

 

A dark enclosed space where men and women mingle and dance. Most encounters leading to sex during the same night. There is usually a bar where overpriced drinks can be purchased and music is played very loud through the night. Can be a prime breeding ground for several types of STD's.

 

1) I met a female companion at a nightclub on Saturday. Little did I know she had already slept with most of the club goers and had passed on a virulent strain of herpes to me.

 

2. nightclub

 

A place where people dance, drink and take drugs.

1) I like to party at the nightclub.

[chucksagent]

My wife and her friends went to the casino ONCE in the last year for one of their birthdays! I was using it as "an example." And you are all writing paragraphs about it...Lol.

 

You all must be terribly young.

 

You will see when you get older and have a spouse, career, house, kids, pets, community obligations, errands to run, if you have an actual career or profession much is expected of you outside of normal work hours...You won't want to spend what little free time you have in a LOUD atmosphere (can't hear valued friends speaking when you don't see as much), OVERPAYING for drinks (when you can get the same stuff MUCH cheaper elsewhere), dealing with CROWDS (when you'll be stressed from all the crap you did all week and crowds don't make it easier), CO-MINGLING with people people MUCH younger than you (by this time in your life, you have matured and are busy, only people at the club are 20 year olds and lonely old people who have nobody who cares about them, and the occasional drug user/sex addict/liberal who likes to pretend she's/he's still a kid.)

[serial muse]

My wife and her friends went to the casino ONCE in the last year for one of their birthdays! I was using it as "an example." And you are all writing paragraphs about it...Lol.

 

You all must be terribly young.

 

You will see when you get older and have a spouse, career, house, kids, pets, community obligations, errands to run, if you have an actual career or profession much is expected of you outside of normal work hours...You won't want to spend what little free time you have in a LOUD atmosphere (can't hear valued friends speaking when you don't see as much), OVERPAYING for drinks (when you can get the same stuff MUCH cheaper elsewhere), dealing with CROWDS (when you'll be stressed from all the crap you did all week and crowds don't make it easier), CO-MINGLING with people people MUCH younger than you (by this time in your life, you have matured and are busy, only people at the club are 20 year olds and lonely old people who have nobody who cares about them, and the occasional drug user/sex addict/liberal who likes to pretend she's/he's still a kid.)

 

OK, wow, 6 posts in a row, and you're saying that I'm writing paragraphs? The casino thing was your example of a reasonable activity for "taken" women, which made it fair game for further discussion, as far as I'm concerned. But now you're backtracking because it's hard to defend that position I guess. Okey doke.

 

I give up, man - you're clearly fixated on your ideas and are not open to any other interpretations of ANYTHING. But I will point out that you have no idea what the experiences/ages are of those with whom you're corresponding here (as I said earlier, I'm not young - perhaps older than you are), and so when you keep telling us what we think (that "girls" should be allowed to do whatever they want, or some BS) it's incredibly annoying, not to mention incorrect. Grown people can disagree.

 

So what I'm taking away from this is that you're not interested in discussion or other viewpoints, you just want to hammer home your viewpoint ad nauseum, to the exclusion of anyone else's.

 

Well, I disagree with you that places that women go dancing are necessarily meat markets, and I disagree with you that women don't like video games or sports, and I disagree with you that casinos and bars are more innocent, and I disagree with you that overpaying for drinks happens more in places where people dance rather than in any other venues where people might congregate for a night out , and I disagree with you that disagreeing with you means that I'm telling myself whatever BS gets me to sleep at night, because that is really insulting and condescending.

 

And seriously, that's all I have to say about that. Peace out.

 

p.s. For the love of God, stop calling grown women "girls".

[The Way I Am]

And I think "clubbin" is the perfect storm of where people can faulter. That's why I don't think committed people should do it.

 

Yes, any person can be tempted to cheat. A club is just holds zero temptation for some people. The idea of having sex with a random guy I'm not even able to have a conversation with has zero appeal. Random guys rubbing their junk up on me grosses me out, and ever time someone finds a colorful way to describe that, it makes he throw up a little in my mouth.

 

And to those of you who are too dense to see the obvious difference between grocery store, movie Theater and a dance club...allow me to educate you.

 

If a guy comes up to you and rubs his genitals on your butt in a dance club = that's a drunk Friday night.

 

No, it's not. I find that as unacceptable at a club as I do anywhere else. Any guy who's ever came up and started rubbing against me got the response of my turning around and shouting "Excuse me" and if he acted all butt hurt, he got informed that if he wants to dance, he needs to have some respect and ask first. My friends were usually a little nicer and would just walk away from those creepers.

 

If I wanted to cheat with a random person, the most tempted I've ever been is at a linux expo. A handsome, successful, smart, and nerdy guy with no wedding ring giving a presentation kept looking at me through the whole damn thing. I could have easily gone up and talked to that guy after the presentation. A successful guy with the same interests as me is a lot more tempting than some jerk who doesn't even have the respect to ask permission before assuming his junk can get anywhere near me.

[piggyoink]

Maybe that possessive guy's into gorean culture

[clia]

This thread is hilarious.

 

Serial Muse - Dancing is PERFECTLY ok...heck, I encourage it. But do what clean, wealthy, classy, esteemed, respectable people do....Take dance lessons, Dance at a Lounge or a nice bar, have a party at your house with dancing...

 

Who do you think are the people buying the expensive bottle service at clubs? Poor people? Most of the clubs I've been to recently are filled with wealthy, educated professionals. Yeah, you get some riff raff, but the majority of the people who can afford the cover charge and the $10 beers are not working the cash register at Walgreen's. It may not be your scene, but in my experience the place isn't completely filled with losers who are grinding all over each other.

 

Why does nobody mention lounges? Lounges are dance clubs which are slightly better luminated, with older/more mature/respectful people, cheaper drinks, and NOT THE ASSUMPTION people are here to hook up.

 

Muse, I'm not the only one ASSUMING things that go on at a club. Why do you think MEN GO THERE? Cause we NEED THE ART OF DAYHNCE (dance said arrogantly) like all you women? "We need to just let our hair down and dance you guys!"

 

No, men go to prey on WOMEN!!!! It's why its called a MEAT MARKET or a SINGLES CLUB! BECAUSE OF ITS REPUTATION!!!!

 

What exactly are you defining as a “meat market” “singles” club? Can you point me to a few examples in some city? Because, I'm honestly really confused about what type of place you are referring to. A place where they play music and people dance? What exactly is your criteria for the places that taken women should not be going?

 

The types of men you described above can be found at all different types of bars -- dive bars, sports bars, lounges, live music venues, etc. Am I supposed to stay home because some mouth breather feels it's his right to walk up and start groping me? I think that's ludicrous. I just tell him to back off and go away. Women get hit on and groped everywhere. Opportunities to cheat can be found anywhere, and aren't any more likely to happen at a club than at a sports bar or a lounge or a concert or a casino. (I think I have yet to play a hand of blackjack without getting hit on.)

 

If you are really that insecure, you better just lock your wife up and never let her go anywhere. I've been hit on far more at sports bars than I ever have at clubs. In fact, when I was single, that was the prime way I met men -- by getting together with the girls on Saturday or Sunday afternoon during football season and going to a sports bar. The male to female ratio is hugely in your favor -- much better than at a club -- and most men love talking to women who know sports. Live sporting events were also a great place to meet men. In fact, if I wanted to cheat, the last place I would go to meet a guy would be a club.

 

You can dance ANYWHERE...Clubs are KNOWN FOR GRINDING/GETTING DRUNK/SINGLES MINGLING...sounds like a great place to go when you are in a committed relationship.

 

I would like some real life examples of bars/lounges to go where dancing is allowed, and places where it isn't, in your view. I assume you will be able to guarantee that the places where we taken women are allowed to go there will be no drunk men trying to grind on me?

[The Way I Am]

Oh. I forgot about my real estate agent. Married, but holy crap that guy is gorgeous. Charming and funny too. I'd be lying if I said the idea of effing him hasn't at least crossed my mind. How hot would that be on somebody else's granite counter tops? Even my boyfriend has said he'd do the guy.

 

House shopping with that guy has some serious temptation! Idea of sex with random guys I don't know anything about, zero temptation.

[chucksagent]

Clia (and many others) - Maybe we are all talking about two different things. I think we have confusion on both of our parts. I have NO PROBLEM with my wife or any committed woman going dancing and for a few drinks with friends. I have a problem with her going "clubbin." I view (and many others do too) clubbin as a creature of its own thing.

 

"Clubbin" has certain connotations. A dance club is a dark/dim lit place, with lots of druggies and shady people, grinding all over each other, with SUPER expensive drinks, it's so loud you can't hear anything, and the general expectation is single people go there to mingle.

 

A lounge or a bar is fully lit or dimmed lights slightly. It's not the culture of a bar/lounge to approach any woman you wish and grope them. I'm not sure what sports bars you're going to, but I've never seen a woman get felt up sitting in a booth at a sports bar. APPROACHED, absolutely...but you can say "no thank you" to a verbal approach...you can't say no after someone just grabbed your breast, butt, upskirt, etc. All of those latter things I've seen or heard from friends happen at a club.

 

Where I live, it's common knowledge that clubs are for single people. Meat Market is derived from women dressing in clothes leaving not much to the imagination and men wearing tight clothing showing off their physique. Vis a vis, you show up looking as hot as possible, and admire the other pieces of meat; you approach that piece of meat which suits you best.

 

Lounges are simply classier bars. Usually someone playing piano, a live band, sometimes a DJ...there are tables...a bar...usually serve Martini's and drinks like that...It's hard to GRIND holding a martini! Lol. They will often have a dance floor or an area for dancing designated. They will usually have an employee or a bouncer near the floor to make sure clean fun is being had and unwanted advances aren't occurring. The BIGGEST difference is, MEN KNOW the culture and it is NOT acceptable to approach a woman and GRIND on her OR GROPE her...Of course you may approach and ask for a dance, but nothing is presumed.

 

My experiences at Dance Clubs is that the guy just STARTS grinding on you and doesn't care what your opinion on the matter is.

 

Now one of you said "If someone grinds up on you or gropes you you tell them to back off..and your friends are nicer about it then you are." So are you telling me that if some random guy approached you and started grinding/groping you in a grocery store, you're only reaction would be "please don't." or your friends would be "nicer to him." Like I said, that'd be assault, clear as day. BECAUSE club culture is, that is acceptable until told otherwise. In normal places, it's not acceptable at all.

Edited September 27, 2013 by chucksagent

[chucksagent]

Here is a good breakdown:

 

The Club – Clubs will always have lots of Music, Booze and Horny people. Unlike a bar or lounge, a Club gives you a high energy atmosphere that motivates you to dance and party hard! This will include having a full dance floor equipped with special lighting where you can show off your nonexistent dance moves or what most people do, grind up on some intoxicated guy/chick you don’t know trying to get action that night. People wear next to nothing and fashion is key. Lastly drink prices are generally about 40% higher at Clubs.

 

Bars – Bars are generally smaller dive spots where you and your friend might want to go before the Club. People here run the gamut as opposed to clubs where most people are looking to meet people. The music is generally pretty good. Not much of a dress code and drinks are significantly cheaper, they generally have draft beers and good drink specials. Most bars have a dance floor, but it’s different than a club because it’s out in the open and not as dark as a club.

 

Lounges – this is the HYBRID of clubs and bars. They give you the vibe of a club and the laxness of a bar. People here are generally out after work with friends or on a girl’s night out trying to have some harmless fun and dance without the annoyances you sometimes get at a club or a bar. You can dress up or down at lounges and there is lots of seating. They play good music but the dance floor usually isn’t as big. For those who truly love to dance, however, this is the perfect place to come with your girls without the fear of being asked to dance! Also, drink prices are somewhere between bar and club. Not as cheap as a bar and not as outrageous as a club.

[chucksagent]

Where would you suggest taken women have girls night out if bars/clubs are off limits? I have been to many bars with girlfriends when in a relationship, I mean that is truly NOT a strange thing to do. We went to socialize and drink. I mean....what's confusing about this? Where should we have gone? We could go to a restaurant but typically they aren't cool with you sticking around for 3 hours after you eat.

 

also, as far as it being a Meetup event, unless it is a singles group I'm not sure why coupled up folks would be frowned upon attending.

 

Wow. I have no idea what girls could do if clubs are off limits. I wonder what guys do who don't go to bars or clubs? They must have the WORST most BORING lives. What a crappy country we live in where the ONLY activity friends can partake in is grinding at da club. You'd swear we lived in a first world country with literally ENDLESS things to do.

[todreaminblue]

i went out tonight with my daughter it was a hotel with six levels.....there was a beer garden thing and they had a cover duo playing and then they had popular music......and a cocktail lounge ......etc

 

 

i am actually single......not interested in getting grinded on regardless of my status...i drank water all night and danced my bottom off......a couple of times while i was dancing with a group of females.....i would sense the guy coming up behind me, because they would stand away a bit and watch for an opening..i could feel them staring sizing me up...i got negged as well i just told him to go away.........guys tried to pop up to the side of me and beside me by the time their little drunk heads have figured out which side to approach...i have already blocked them by squeezing in between other females o rturning to dance with another female so my side turned into my back.......my daughter thought i was pretty smooth they look a bit confused then they spaghetti dance over to the next victim.......anyone can go have fun and dance or go to clubs.....if you dont drink and just have fun you wont be as susceptible o rvulnerable to making a huge mistake......also when you are totally straight and see spaghetti armed drunk guys thinking they are micheal jackson grabbing their crotch and winking suggestively...you afre in no way tempted to go near them.......i dont need to drink to dance...if i had a partner i would understand why he might get upset though....i woudl hope he knew that i am 100 per cent trustworthy ........i also can handle myself..deb

[The Way I Am]

Where the heck do you live? I'm wondering whether you really do live in some place where clubs are drug-filled dens of sin where groping strangers without permission is okay. Here in southern california, there are plenty of clubs, but none of them I've been to are as you described.

 

I have a suspicion that where you live is the 1920-50's where people still use the term "lounge". Just teasing. Maybe the term "lounge" is a regional term? Most people I know refer to any place with music and dancing as a club. If they have no dance floor or no area available to dance, it's a bar.

 

My experiences at Dance Clubs is that the guy just STARTS grinding on you and doesn't care what your opinion on the matter is.

 

Your experience? So you grind up on women and don't care what their opinion is on the matter?

 

In my experience, as a woman who has had a guy occasionally attempt that cr*p, most guys at clubs don't behave that way. Most dance near you and then ask if you want to dance with them before attempting to get close. For the socially inept ones who think it's okay to walk up and grope a random woman, they usually get the message and go away quickly, because they don't want to make it any more obvious that they were rejected. Some need to be embarrassed a bit to get that the behavior is not cool. For the rare few that just absolutely don't get the message, that's what my friends and I always appreciated having a male friend along for.

 

But if a guy didn't go away when asked, pretty much every club I've ever been, the woman would be able to go get a bouncer to handle the guy. I had a gay guy friend who got kicked out of a couple clubs for acting in ways women who didn't know he was gay didn't appreciate.

 

Now one of you said "If someone grinds up on you or gropes you you tell them to back off..and your friends are nicer about it then you are." So are you telling me that if some random guy approached you and started grinding/groping you in a grocery store, you're only reaction would be "please don't." or your friends would be "nicer to him." Like I said, that'd be assault, clear as day. BECAUSE club culture is, that is acceptable until told otherwise. In normal places, it's not acceptable at all.

 

If a guy did that in the grocery store, I'd probably call report him to the cops. Actually, no, realistically I probably wouldn't because it'd be too much hassle. I'd probably tell him off and knee him in the balls or something if he stuck around. Not the wisest course, I admit, but it's what I would most likely do.

 

You're partly right. I would have a stronger reaction to someone behaving that way in a grocery store than a club. But somebody in the grocery store shouldn't be that close in my personal space. I'd have the same type of reaction as in a club if I were in any other elbow-to-elbow crowded place like a comic book convention, subway, etc.

Edited September 27, 2013 by The Way I Am

[The Way I Am]

Actually, after a moments thought, if there was any place where a guy was being disrespectful and wouldn't leave me alone, a club would be the easiest to get them to quit or get punished for what they did. There are always several bouncers around the dance floor who will keep people in line. Unless a guy is really out of line, they won't call for the police, but they'll rough him up a bit and ruin his evening by throwing him out.

 

At the grocery store, a convention or subway, by the time I got to someone I could report the guy to, he would be long gone and have no consequences. Even if there was video tape evidence, I'd have to sit around for hours for the police to take the report on the off chance they could ever figure out who the guy in the grainy footage actually was.

 

You're selling me on a visit to a club this weekend, chucksagent. I've been working so much that I rarely get to go out. I might just call up the girls and head out in your honor.