ruby77 Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 So, 5 months post break up, I am ok most of the time. Work is my saviour, I love being there as it keeps me busy and gives me a purpose. Weekends I am ok if I am out with friends, I am able to have a good time and put it to the back of my mind. But when I come home or wake up the next morning after a night out or have nothing planned on the weekend..i get depressed, I get terribly lonely. How do I learn to be ok on my own and shift this loneliness feeling? Anyone else feel like this?
TrblinMN Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 I am approaching 6 months and I completely feel the same way. When I am home alone, I try to keep a busy as possible but somethings it's impossible to find something to do. I do go to bed early every night just I can go to work the next day and get busy to distract myself. It has gotten easier over the last couple of months, but when you still think about your ex, it seems like there is no end in sight. You are not alone ruby77. Stay strong and keep busy!
Author ruby77 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 That's exactly it, feels like there is no end in sight. Feels like it will never end and I will be stuck this way forever. I guess its better than the early days when I didn't even want to leave the house, didn't want to socialise so I should focus on the fact there has been progress even if very slowly. Lets hope this time in another 5/6 months we are both in a better place. 1
TrblinMN Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 I feel the same way that I feel that I have made some progress, but the progress have been very slow. I just need to avoid any triggers that make me think about my ex so that the progression towards recovery come faster. Thanks! I too hope we both feel better in 6 months!!!
hopefulfaerie Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Unfortunately, I feel much the same. btw, anyone reading this that is going through this hellish journey, I'm so sorry! ! ! Anyway, I am still extremely hurt and sad but I have my days when I can at least "see the light" Usually the days when I'm working or visiting with friends or if I have some sort of task or project to keep me busy. It's the days when I have no projects, weekends off (blessing and a curse, makes me think what he's doing on the weekends), friends that have boyfriends or are just busy living their lives too. It's those times that sneak up and get me. I find myself wanting to sleep just so I can escape the pain. I will actually watch the clock and can't wait until a time it's not "weird" to go to bed! AAAAGGGGHHHHH! I just want to be over this! Can't wait to see where I'll be in 6 months....It can't be any worse than this. It can only get better for us!
robsa Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Well I'm also there unfortunately, and i'm not working at the moment so i have way to much time on my hands.....it is difficult to be comfortable being alone, but i keep telling myself that if i can manage to do this than it has to get better sooner. If i face all the hardest stuff now that is just the beginning (a little over 6 weeks since break up) then it has to move quickly and i will finally be over this, and i will be able to think of it all as the past and smile because of all the good times and the lessons that it taught me. Love might never go away, but we learn to live a "new" life, the light is there you have to choose to see it, but you also have to let yourself feel and overcome the bad moment... when we are around people or busy doing something we block out the bad feelings, and it is good but sooner or later they catch up to us so I think it is good to let yourself feel form time to time. and yes it has to get better....and it will get better! that is what i keep repeating to myself during my darkest moments when i feel like there is no air to breath.
candie13 Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 guys... you cannot continue to keep running away from yourselves by searching other people's company. You will need to face the source of your sorrow and go through it. Understand what it is that makes you so miserable. Think, cry and then accept it's over. It's not the break up or time that helps. It's letting go. You need to let go. The longer you hold on, the longer this horrible situation will last. You yourself became the prisoner of your past. You need to allow yourself to get out of it. The only way out is through the pain, not avoiding it. Don't mean to scare you, but this situation can last for years. Your choice. 3
keepontruckin Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Guys, it does take time to get over this ****... My biggest laugh was when my STBXW told me she wanted the "old me" back:laugh: After a five year relationship with her, I though I was making improvements! Both for her, and for me! And she wants the man she met back? WTF? So, turn back into the person that you once were! Basically, don't give a **** is the message that I can forward... Revert to the old you, and don't look back... 1
Brown-Eyez Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 Unfortunately, I feel much the same. btw, anyone reading this that is going through this hellish journey, I'm so sorry! ! ! Anyway, I am still extremely hurt and sad but I have my days when I can at least "see the light" Usually the days when I'm working or visiting with friends or if I have some sort of task or project to keep me busy. It's the days when I have no projects, weekends off (blessing and a curse, makes me think what he's doing on the weekends), friends that have boyfriends or are just busy living their lives too. It's those times that sneak up and get me. I find myself wanting to sleep just so I can escape the pain. I will actually watch the clock and can't wait until a time it's not "weird" to go to bed! AAAAGGGGHHHHH! I just want to be over this! Can't wait to see where I'll be in 6 months....It can't be any worse than this. It can only get better for us! sadly exactly me too.. when will this hellish nightmare be over?? I am so sick of thinking about him, missing him, and just generally feeling so low. I'm alone ALOT right now and it sure is not making a big difference in my feeling any better. I am truly trying to let go but still find so little relief.
NomiMalone Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 I can totally relate. I feel the crappiest when I'm alone, especially after a fun night with friends. My view is that being ok with being on your own will come with time. I've found that focusing on yourself, such as trying new things, taking classes, learning a new sport etc really helps because they bring a sense of accomplishment which is great for our self esteem. I've also found that there's no "magic formula" for letting go, and it's not something that can be done consciously. As with any great loss, letting go of a relationship also only comes with time. One day down the track, you'll realise out of nowhere that you no longer feel anything for him. I'm 2 months post break-up and I feel I'm on the right track, and am functioning like I did before he came into my life. I even went on a date yesterday. But I've still got a long way to go to truly let go, and I've accepted that its ok, and normal, for my heart to hold onto a small piece of him. I know that time will eventually heal everything for all of us 1
Author ruby77 Posted September 3, 2013 Author Posted September 3, 2013 I totally agree that you cannot consciously 'let go' it comes with time and I actually think its happening so slowly and gragually that you don't even notice. It occurred to me yesterday that I'm actually thinking of him a lot less. I've spent so long wishing and waiting for the day when he's not constantly on my mind bit actually its crept up without me noticing, I still think about him and everything that happened but not so much. Its just a long long road to recovery and I am waiting for the day where I realise I am over it - hurry up! 1
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