spiderowl Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 (edited) How do I tell a nice guy that we are just not right for each other? He's pretty much ignoring the hints I'm giving him that I am uncertain. He says he isn't. We are not compatible sexually or emotionally though we tried because we both like and respect each other. I'm sure there is an element of he wants sex and is not thinking further ahead, but he may be getting attached. I really can't tell. A lot of our conversation is actually quite superficial, which he doesn't seem to notice or mind. I feel really depressed about this as I don't want to hurt him. On the other hand, if he's ignoring our differences and brushing them aside whenever I bring the subject up, is he only interested in sex anyway? Either way, this a different situation to usual because he's a really nice guy who has treated me well. Usually if I think someone isn't suitable, it's because their behaviour towards me is poor so it's easier to know what to do. Edited August 31, 2013 by spiderowl
Sparkle304 Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 There is no kinder way to do than speak to him in person and tell him that you just don't feel a strong connection. Be simple and straightforward. You cannot avoid hurting him. Please don't keep stringing him along, it only makes the breakup worse for him.
Author spiderowl Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 Thanks, I appreciate your thoughts on this. Just to say I am not stringing him along. I have said all along that I had doubts but he just seems driven to ignore this and seems to think when we get to know each other well these things won't matter. He thinks we would have fun in the meantime. I feel so mixed up about this, yet it should be obvious to me. I'm not even sure how I managed to get drawn into this. He's been so kind to me, I thought it was worth getting to know him and that affection and love might grow, but although affection has, I know we are not compatible long term.
Sparkle304 Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Well, when a person has really fallen for someone, you'd be surprised by how easily they gloss over/ignore/don't hear what you are trying to tell them. I suspect this is the case here. Be gentle. Be kind. Do not ask to remain friends! This can often be seen as a sign that there is potential to get back together.
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