cj82 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 My ex-boyfriend texted me out of the blue a few weeks ago and wanted to meet up. We haven't seen/spoken to each other since we broke up in March 2012. The reason for it was I called him out for acting distant, and he said he felt bad because he was in between jobs, the distance (at the time, we lived an hour away from each other) and he needed to get his life together. It killed me and I've thought of him every single day since. He even told a mutual friend right after we broke up that he didn't want it to end and he didn't know what to do. Well, fast forward to today: I now live much closer. He's been in another state and now he's back. So, now we're in the same area. We eventually met up for drinks last week - we were there for 5 hours, closed down the bar. It went well - very light and fun, talked about what we've been up to in the time that's passed. At the end of the night, we hugged, he said it was nice seeing me and we should hang out again. That was almost a week ago and I haven't heard from him since. I texted him the day after we met up saying it was nice seeing him and we should get together again soon - he said "For sure". Also, he didn't offer to pay for my beer, nor was he clean shaven.....I've heard that if a guy is trying to impress you, he shaves, but maybe that's not all guys....? I don't know if I'm over analyzing things, but I don't know if he's totally over me and just wants to be friends....but it's not like he needs any more friends, why would he hit up his ex whom he hasn't spoken to since the breakup just to hang out? I'm staying sane and not texting him, but it's so hard not knowing what he's thinking. We didn't bring up the breakup at all when we hung out - no big emotional talks. Do guys really reach out to exes they have no feelings for anymore? What would be the point?
leafguy Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 I wish I could be of more help but the only reason I ever reached out to an ex was to get back with her..mind you it was 5 years apart and first was in high school, second was in college. I don't see it as easy being friends when you have had the spark for x amount of years...even if time has passed, people rarely change enough to lose the initial spark when you have worked together for that long. Some people just naturally have that connection. I'd take it slow, be cautious and try not to be the one reaching out. Let him do the work if he wants to come back.
BC1980 Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 My gut tells me he probably wanted to see if the spark was still there after over a year. I suppose it's possible that he just wanted to hang out as friends, but I think that it unlikely. So the question now is how does he feel, and you can only go by his actions. He hasn't made contact in a week. He either feels there was no spark left and feels it is over for good, or he is still thinking and a little confused. Sometimes, it just might take him longer to sort his feelings out than for you to do the same. I would still give it a week or so without contacting him. Then, maybe you could reach out to him, and see what his answer will be. Good luck.
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