Mariposa10 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 For those who have had various serious relationships. When did you feel that you had gotten over your ex? Maybe when you saw them with someone else and didn't feel any kind of jealousy, etc?
leafguy Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 For me it is the day I am ready to face the world alone and be happy being single and myself...where I can look at the things I have kept that are personal and not feel upset about it, but smile that it happened.
tart6245 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Took me nearly 10 months before I really got over of my ex-girlfriend of 2.5 years. She tried to come back as my friend a month after we split, I rejected her overtures and we fought which kind of reset things. Eventually we had a good talk about 5 months afterwards and have gotten along fine ever since. It was probably the best handled breakup I have ever experienced mainly because I had a tremendous amount of love and respect for her.
Misfortune Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 2 months after a 2+ year relationship and a 6 month marriage. It just happened once I accepted that it's over and there's nothing I can do about it. No point fussing or wasting energy on something I have no control over. 1
jesse93 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 2 months after a 2+ year relationship and a 6 month marriage. It just happened once I accepted that it's over and there's nothing I can do about it. No point fussing or wasting energy on something I have no control over. Wow 2 months, that's impressive As for me I'm not really sure this is the 1st real relationship I've been in but a friend of mine didn't get over his ex for a lil over a year.
Author Mariposa10 Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Took me nearly 10 months before I really got over of my ex-girlfriend of 2.5 years. She tried to come back as my friend a month after we split, I rejected her overtures and we fought which kind of reset things. Eventually we had a good talk about 5 months afterwards and have gotten along fine ever since. It was probably the best handled breakup I have ever experienced mainly because I had a tremendous amount of love and respect for her. why did you guys break up if you don't mind telling us...
tart6245 Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 why did you guys break up if you don't mind telling us... Distance. She moved 600 miles away after we graduated college. We tried long distance for 5 months, but it was too difficult and expensive. If a day comes when we are closer again, maybe we can reunite.
Follower Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 16 months; moving 300+ miles away for work and getting a whole new life did the trick, ohh and a new girlfriend! (4.5 year relationship)
on_the_edge Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 I felt I was over my ex once questions such as "when will I get over my ex?" or "will I ever get over my ex?" very gradually eroded and I instead stumbled upon a question such as "wow, oh yes, my ex - haven't thought about her in so long" It just sort of...happened, without my realization, until I deliberately brought my attention to it.
Tayla Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 MY fondest "ex's" are still in my life, and ever so grateful we transcended the one relationship level for an entirely new one, made for a different respect and mutual regard for the people we became. Took a good year of changing attitude and forgiveness to move in that direction, yet its been worth it as the years have matured and we value that which is important. I do hold a record though for One EX I had..it took me all of thirty seconds to get over him and not look back. Common sense opened my eyes and I just "knew" I was done, done, done. I sit here in a humble way and say I can laugh about it...How silly that it even took thirty seconds ! I really need to get up to speed (Editors footnote- HE cheated -need I say more)- and he's remained in the past ever since...How refreshing!
Author Mariposa10 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 MY fondest "ex's" are still in my life, and ever so grateful we transcended the one relationship level for an entirely new one, made for a different respect and mutual regard for the people we became. Took a good year of changing attitude and forgiveness to move in that direction, yet its been worth it as the years have matured and we value that which is important. I do hold a record though for One EX I had..it took me all of thirty seconds to get over him and not look back. Common sense opened my eyes and I just "knew" I was done, done, done. I sit here in a humble way and say I can laugh about it...How silly that it even took thirty seconds ! I really need to get up to speed (Editors footnote- HE cheated -need I say more)- and he's remained in the past ever since...How refreshing! How are they still in your life? Are they your friends now?
Misfortune Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Wow 2 months, that's impressive As for me I'm not really sure this is the 1st real relationship I've been in but a friend of mine didn't get over his ex for a lil over a year. Well, I wouldn't say I'm over her because love makes you irrational. I would love to give it another try if possible but I have no control over it. I'm just back to reality and accepted things for what they are. It happened in June, I spent that doing everything I shouldn't do and I just gave up in July. She lied about her sexual orientation, cheated, moved out, never apologized and is enjoying her new life. I've been doing therapy and CoDA meetings so, those help. I have no hope that she'll ever comeback, apologize, text, call or anything. Lost my job through it all so I'm being positive; I'm on vacation it's easy once all the hope and such is gone. You feel lighter.
Author Mariposa10 Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 Well, I wouldn't say I'm over her because love makes you irrational. I would love to give it another try if possible but I have no control over it. I'm just back to reality and accepted things for what they are. It happened in June, I spent that doing everything I shouldn't do and I just gave up in July. She lied about her sexual orientation, cheated, moved out, never apologized and is enjoying her new life. I've been doing therapy and CoDA meetings so, those help. I have no hope that she'll ever comeback, apologize, text, call or anything. Lost my job through it all so I'm being positive; I'm on vacation it's easy once all the hope and such is gone. You feel lighter. How are those CODA meetings going?? Could you elaborate on that? I might give it a shot.
Misfortune Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 How are those CODA meetings going?? Could you elaborate on that? I might give it a shot. CoDA is great actually, it's like therapy without the therapist's questions/input. I was skeptical at first but I was willing to try anything to get me out of my slump. I didn't think talking to a bunch of strangers would do anything for me but I was wrong. I meet new people every week, made friends, gotten stuff off my chest and I learned a lot codependency. Talking to others, having someone listen and knowing you're not alone with this affliction, really helps to ease some of your stress. I feel good knowing I'm not alone and it's gives me confidence when I see others rise up from worse aituations than mine. I'll join the recovered survivors one day. It's Anon for codependents.
Nicoleiia Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 It took me over a year to get over my ex and the feeling of rejection. I was burnt. But after, I just started not to care and as time passes you remember less and less.
Author Mariposa10 Posted September 1, 2013 Author Posted September 1, 2013 CoDA is great actually, it's like therapy without the therapist's questions/input. I was skeptical at first but I was willing to try anything to get me out of my slump. I didn't think talking to a bunch of strangers would do anything for me but I was wrong. I meet new people every week, made friends, gotten stuff off my chest and I learned a lot codependency. Talking to others, having someone listen and knowing you're not alone with this affliction, really helps to ease some of your stress. I feel good knowing I'm not alone and it's gives me confidence when I see others rise up from worse aituations than mine. I'll join the recovered survivors one day. It's Anon for codependents. I'm really shy when it comes to stuff like this... Do you have to talk in front of everyone, or can you just listen and talk when you're ready? I hadn't thought about this only I read your post... I think I could learn a thing or two from this meetings.
nerdlingZA Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 For those who have had various serious relationships. When did you feel that you had gotten over your ex? Maybe when you saw them with someone else and didn't feel any kind of jealousy, etc? I'm 9months past my break-up & I can tell u I'm over her most part , I just need to stop thinking about her everyday.
Jord11 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 I'm going on 6 months nc, feelings are less now but I do miss her still and need to stop thinking about her, but it is tough
BB7 Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 7 year relationship took me about 4 months to fully accept it and move on. I was a wreck early on but somehow the feelings just diaappeared. This was my first break up and it was a roller coaster ride but things just kind of clicked for me at some point. I had another relationship a few months later that lasted about 6 months. I would also say that I was a wreck for a month or so and then it got far easier and a lot quicker than before. I think once you understand a break up and the fact that everything will actually be okay, it becomes much easier to deal with.
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