volley Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 My exboyfriend and I have been broken up for a year. He broke up with me because he didn't have enough love for me. We were together for 6 yrs. The last two year I had postpartum depression because we lost a baby at 16wks. Are realationship was amazing before that. Never faught, did fun things etc. But when he broke up he stated that nothing is left of our realationship and it will never happen again. To me I think that's rude. Why do I deserve a never. I never cheated or lied etc. I was an amazing girlfriend to him.yet he did see and fell out of love with a women who wasnt me but a depressed women. We did stay in contact after we broke up I was heart broken. I did the wrong thing I texted, email many times. Until I was like this is a waste of my time. That last like 2 months. After 8 months went by he ask to hang so I said ok. He showed me he still had feelings. We cuddled and kissed. I asked him the next day what was that about he states I have a lot on my plate and I don't thing your ready to hang. So i left it at that. A month went by and i ask to hang and we are cool as friends but I need my space. So I have been giving him his space for about 3 weeks. We are in no contact and its tough but I know its for the good so he can see he has made a mistake. Because he knows I got help for my depression and I'm myself again but better. Its just I really love this man and in my heart iknow he is the one. I so miss him. Does an ex come back ? Do they ever realize they made the wrong choice? When should I break the no conract rule and what should I say. I really love him with all my heart.
leafguy Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I can tell you the girl that just broke up with me I dated before this time. We dated in high school for 5 months, I broke it off before we met up in the final year of college again. I would have done it sooner, but couldnt get up the nerve to talk to her face to face until it was almost all said and done. We lasted 5 years this time around. I can tell you that I was the one that came back, but it was 5+ years apart. As far as NC goes...I tend to be on the minority when I say that it may or may not be a good thing. In my case right now, I have gone NC because I was shocked she ended it. She has reached out every day thus far to no response. Knowing I need to fix myself, I can't get caught up in the games anymore. However, if I was well on my way to moving on and happier in my current situation, I might have a convo with her to see what the hell she wants after X amount of days where X is > than the time it takes me to heal and be prepared for it. In your case, I would make him come to you as he is the one that is confused. If you are constantly at his beck and call, all he will use you for is a doormat. I know from experience. 1
Author volley Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 Thank you. I am hoping he will come back . Hes 42 and I'm 27 even though there was a huge gap it work well. I'm just scared he's not going to. He said will never end up back together I just don't understand. It hurts so much to here that cause its like what did I do to u besides being not myself because I was depressed . I think its just so ****ty of him.
leafguy Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 What were you depressed with? Has it been diagnosed or just depressed with life in general due to circumstance?
Author volley Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 I had post partum depression when we lost our baby at 16 wks. I became someone who wasn't me. I was lazy, moody, not intament, texting him all the time while he was at work. I became insecure with myself cause I emotionally ate and gained some weight. I started saying stuff like who u texting. Are u texting this girl etc. After we broke up I got help with my eepression. No longer depression and clear by a dr. I lost all my weight and back to myself but better. I just want him back I want us back. I love him and I know we can have an amazing life a better one than before. It just hurts because he hasn't contacted me and I'm scared he won'tbecauae he said never will get back together. I don't understand I think its just harsh. I would understand if I cheated or was abusive etc. But I'm not.. I just dont understand.
leafguy Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I will start with by saying if it has been a year, it is possible he has moved on and found someone else, so that must be something you come to terms with before even attempt to contact him. You have to be prepped to take the worst possible outcome. A year is a long time and he very well could be over you and well into forming another relationship. With that being said, once you are prepared for not having him back, you could always try contacting him. Again, be prepared for worst case which is he does not respond and you have your answer. Best case is he contacts you and you have at least a bit of feedback to go on.
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