Obsessing about past Can't see no future or deal with present

[Tears of a clown]

I've been with my ex for 6 years. We seperated around two months ago because I found out

I read a email from a guy on Facebook thanking her for the photos of her in a thong she sent him... A couple of months before this I discovered she had exchanged numbers with someone she had met on a night out and that she had met up with him which she says was just for a coffee... She regret meeting with dude and claimed pictures where innocent and Im the one in the wrong for not trusting her... The thing is she has manipulated me too the point that I Blaim myself for whatever has happened... She is currently on a holiday we booked in Spain for our first family holiday with our children... We have two aged 3 and 4... Before she went I begged that I should be able to go... Instead she has took some girl who she hardly knows... I got angry at that at the time and relised if she cared she wouldn't have prevented me from being with our children for 2 weeks... Anyway she is now a week into her holiday and Im a wreck blaiming my self for everything, planning how I will get her back when she's home.. My life is on hold waiting for a call which I never receive when Im expecting.. She calls at 4am drunk I miss my children my life and just want things back to normal.. Can't stop thinking about her not eating can't work or function Im obsessed.. Have never felt pain like this before... I'm stalking her facebook page... Texting constantly... Is this how life is going to be now can't see a future with my family unit.. I'm even convincing myself she is having affair with my best friend... I have lost all ability to control my thoughts and decifer reality from fiction.... HELP please I'm about to loose it and I fear it will be forever !!!

[BigTuna]

Well firstly, she must have done something suspicious beforehand for you to go snooping on her? Yes you found evidence, but I take it you suspected something before you found it?

 

If you went purposely looking for problems, well, there's your answer. However if everything was ok but you noticed a difference along the lines, then bin her. She sounds like a slag from what you're conveying. Think about yourself and your children. Set an example the mother is incapable of doing.

[TrblinMN]

I'm sorry for what you are going through. I know you are new hear but since I've been on this site, I feel as if I have many people I can vent to which is helping me.