Mrlonelyone Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 In my life I have always been attracted to a certain level of masculinity in terms of thought and action which I have found wrapped in bodies of every shape. From the macho tri varsity athelete guy to the tiny demure teacher. To my last entanglement with a very sweet and pretty but tomboyish woman. Maybe what I need to try is a really super girly girl. I notice that in my male lovers they seem very at ease with who they are because for them to possess a certain degree of masculinity is accepted. While the women I deal with have always had to make excuses for who they were. Maybe I just need to find a girly girl who is, like my male lovers, is so secure in her own self image that my ambiguity won't threaten her identity? That issue has always underlain many of my relationships, the whole "what does this mean about me" angst. Any thoughts.
Philosoraptor Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Sounds like you just need to find someone who is secure with who they are as a person. You're attracted to what you're attracted to, nothing to think about too much there. You just need someone comfortable in being who they are.
El Brujo Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 What do you mean "maybe"? If you're not sure what you want, why are you trying to look for it before you've made up your mind? Sounds like bad planning to me.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Sounds like you just need to find someone who is secure with who they are as a person. You're attracted to what you're attracted to, nothing to think about too much there. You just need someone comfortable in being who they are. I know that. That's why I am thinking I should look for that in a type of person I am not usually into. A super girly girl might just be more ok with my non tradtional ways. While a somewhat tomboyish girl always is going to have that process in their psyche that wants a man to be super masculine to affirm their own normality. i.e. to feel feminine in comparison to him. (or perhaps they have concluded the same thing I have re security.) What you say make sense. It's just that the part of me that believes in romance is weakened. My last entanglement was practically Shakespearian in it's intensity, and passion. The circumstances around it and the feeling while I was in it felt like I may have found someone who could be the one. Then it ended so abruptly and artificially. I just want someone who will love me even if I don't really love them. I just want company and a kind heart. What do you mean "maybe"? If you're not sure what you want, why are you trying to look for it before you've made up your mind? Sounds like bad planning to me. I say maybe because it is just a thought. I'm not attracted to girly girls.
xxoo Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I think you need to find a secure, mature person. But I don't follow how a girly girl would be more secure. Girly girls are often just conforming. Are you secure with yourself? Would you choose someone like you?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 I think you need to find a secure, mature person. But I don't follow how a girly girl would be more secure. Girly girls are often just conforming. Are you secure with yourself? Would you choose someone like you? Choosing someone like me is what I have been doing. When I choose a tomboyish girl, am I not choosing the female version of a sissy boy? (I have been in a relationship of sorts with another transwoman before. They had other issues). A girly girl might be more secure due to a life of positive reinforcement from society at large. They may also not like macho posturing guys. I.e. Iman a supermodel being the woman for David Bowie.
kazuma Posted September 1, 2013 Posted September 1, 2013 I found that I am more attracted to tomboyish women due to them being comfortable with who they are as a person and don't care about how society views them. In other words, they live life their way because it's the way they want to live their life and not because society says they should be a certain way (makeup, heels, etc). Maybe it's just that I haven't met a girl girl who lives life this way....
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