keith99 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 (edited) I married a aussie, moved to australia from the uk, we had a son together. We had lots of arguments, she was very controlling and emotionally abusive. Anyway I stayed for my sons sake. He had some issues, possible autism. I was left to deal with that, I was my sons primary carer and he was the apple of my eye. I started to get really stressed with all the issues we were having. My son was a nightmare at school, I was going to meetings, going to different doctors trying to see what the problem was and my wife was not supportive. She was just very angry and we just descended into row after row. After 3 years of dealing with schools, doctors, and arguments, I snapped. I left and went back to the UK with nothing. My wife divorced me and then after months she contacted me and wanted me to come back. I thought the marriege was over and began seeing another girl who was very nice. Not seeing my son took its toll on me badly. So now after 17 months we both know we made a big mistake. I want to go home but im really struggling to leave and I dont know why. Im scared of telling my parents, my job. My parents will go nuts, they really didnt like my ex wife at all. I go into a panic if I try and buy a ticket to go home. I want to go home but something seems to stop me. Have I lost my mind. The girl I was seeing is really supportive and thinks I should go back even though she wanted me to move in with her. I want to know why is it that Im staying put and find it hard to even get a ticket. Edited August 30, 2013 by keith99
lylat333 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Disclaimer: I'm only 27, no kids, never been married. The most important question imo is whether or not you are both prepared to truly overcome whatever issues you had in the past. If you get together is there any lingering bitterness or ill will that will keep the relationship from ever working? Next, what's changed? Why did she have a change of heart? Is she still going to be controlling or emotionally abusive? If so, the relationship will be just like it was even if you think you want to get back together. It's good to get input from friends and family, but ultimately the decision is yours. It's unfortunate the girl you're seeing now is getting pulled into this. You're saying, "after 17 months we both know we made a big mistake", that's really not fair to the girl you're seeing to hear. If you were single I would say of course, go down see your ex and your child, take it easy and see where things stand. I think you're the only one who can know why it's a hard decision for you to get a ticket to go back. Maybe you're worried about losing your current relationship. Maybe you're worried your high emotions will negatively impact your decision-making. Whatever you do, try to take it easy and stay completely honest with your current girl.
yessy21 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Keith99.... maybe you don't really want to go home...because that is not really home. Follow your gut. you can be in your sons life too... actually it would be cheaper than starting over just contacting a lawyer.
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