Shuffty Posted November 14, 2004 Posted November 14, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=indigo][/color] I had an awful day at work yesterday and i feel like no on gets how upset i am. I know this might not sound like a big problem, but it's really getting me down. Basically this is what happened... I work at a hotel with my sister, and we were told we could go and get a drink, but we can't get one without asking the bar staff. So we were stood behind the bar (slightly confused) because there was no one about. Then this horrible horrible HORRIBLE girl, who works behind the bar and is absolutely awful to everybody, came out from the back room and said 'What are you just stood there for?' so i told her and she got really aggressive and started swearing saying 'can't you get it you're f---ing self, etc...' so we did and she was yelling at us the whole time, saying i had a 'f---ing attitute' so we just ignored her, then we went to leave the bar and she shouted at me (in front of a bar full of customers and staff) 'Yeah, you're welcome, my f---ing pleasure, STUPID BITCH!' Really loud, i'm not making this up. So i got pissed off, because i've NEVER spoken to this girl before, and she just lost it for no reason at all, and i've never stood up to people who bitch about me before, but someone who's never even spoken to me! So i went back in, with no intention of starting a fight (really!) and said 'What have i said to you to make you shout that at me?' then she starts shouting and swearing and pointing, all this rubbish about how i basically ordered her to get me a drink, which is utter crap. Then this other guy from behind the bar had to come and split us up, even though it was her that was shouting, and he was going 'no arguing behind the bar' to ME?! So i walked out and started crying and crying and crying i was that mad. Why should i put up with her? It really got to me, and i've been fed up ever since. I've never had anyone be so EVIL to me for absolutely no reason and i don't understand it. She upsets EVERYONE, but whenever you say anything you get told 'well that's just what she's like' coz that's an excuse??? Yeah, she's tapped, that's what she's like! I just get so mad and everyone keeps telling me to keep out of the bar to avoid trouble, but am i supposed to go about my business being totally intimidated by her? And not stick up for myself? What was i supposed to do? She gets away with it because no one stands up to her, why don't they fire this girl? I don't get it! I absolutely refuse to be afraid of her, i don't care how hard she think she is, i've always been pushed around, i'm a grown bloody woman for god's sake! Management said they would 'deal with it' which means she'll get a talking to and carry on doing it. She said she would apologise if i did! What am i supposed to be sorry for? I get really fed up, because i try to be nice to everybody and would like to consider myself a good person, but all i get is walked over and treated like s--t. So what's the point? Or am i just supposed to be soft and put up with this crap all my life? Suggestions please?!
Merin Posted November 14, 2004 Posted November 14, 2004 I would suggest you take this issue up with Human Resource... You shouldn't have to put up with being talked to in an abusive manner nor feeling intimadated at your place of work... This issue isn't just about her speaking to other employee's the way she does... whats up with the use of the kind of language in front of guest of the hotel?! I'm very suprised her employer would put up with this! If you know of other employee's that have felt threatend, or intimadated by this girl, I would recommend getting them all together and making a complaint to HR regarding this individuals behaviour. Good Luck
Shufty Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 I know! I have another job, and if i swore in front of customers and at other staff like that i would be out of there so fast! But she gets away with it because she's so aggressive, which is just ridiculous. They just don't do anything about it, and she's like that ALL the time! I feel like nobodies on my side because they don't deal with her. I did tell my boss, because he walked in on me when i was slightly hysterical. And he told her boss who said she'd 'sort it' but she's useless so that probably won't go anywhere. But i talked to some of my friends on my team at the hotel, and she's been really bitchy to them too (not as bad as me though) but they didn't say anything about it. So hopefully there'll be enough evidence eventually to get rid of her, i really hope so. The stupid thing is, i started to feel sorry for her! There's something about her that just screams, 'i've had a s--t life' i dunno, maybe she was abused or something. I'm serious because no normal well-balanced person flies of the handle like that over nothing do they? She sleeps around all the time, and is really abusive to everyone, particularly girls (who aren't her boss) and apparently she was on anti-depressants for like ever and now she's come off them. It's like a pushing away thing i think. But i might just be making excuses for her. So i dunno if they can't fire her for that or summat, although why they hired her with her history of aggression is beyond me. Then i started to question whether i should have gone back in and talked to her or just left it alone. But i ignored her three times before i said anything and i wasn't being aggressive. I suppose i just had enough and saw red because i don't really remember much about what was said after the initial swearing. I don't even know if i was shouting. Do you think i should have let it go? Thanks for the advice.
neptoon Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 Some people get like that when they haven't gotten laid in a while.
Merin Posted November 15, 2004 Posted November 15, 2004 Originally posted by Shufty I know! I have another job, and if i swore in front of customers and at other staff like that i would be out of there so fast! But she gets away with it because she's so aggressive, which is just ridiculous. They just don't do anything about it, and she's like that ALL the time! I feel like nobodies on my side because they don't deal with her. I did tell my boss, because he walked in on me when i was slightly hysterical. And he told her boss who said she'd 'sort it' but she's useless so that probably won't go anywhere. But i talked to some of my friends on my team at the hotel, and she's been really bitchy to them too (not as bad as me though) but they didn't say anything about it. So hopefully there'll be enough evidence eventually to get rid of her, i really hope so. The stupid thing is, i started to feel sorry for her! There's something about her that just screams, 'i've had a s--t life' i dunno, maybe she was abused or something. I'm serious because no normal well-balanced person flies of the handle like that over nothing do they? She sleeps around all the time, and is really abusive to everyone, particularly girls (who aren't her boss) and apparently she was on anti-depressants for like ever and now she's come off them. It's like a pushing away thing i think. But i might just be making excuses for her. So i dunno if they can't fire her for that or summat, although why they hired her with her history of aggression is beyond me. Then i started to question whether i should have gone back in and talked to her or just left it alone. But i ignored her three times before i said anything and i wasn't being aggressive. I suppose i just had enough and saw red because i don't really remember much about what was said after the initial swearing. I don't even know if i was shouting. Do you think i should have let it go? Thanks for the advice. I think you had and have every right to be upset.. and you know if you still feel threatend by this woman or fearful, you should go to your human resource person... this is just to much crap to put up with in your place of work. Good Luck girl
Author Shuffty Posted November 16, 2004 Author Posted November 16, 2004 Originally posted by neptoon Some people get like that when they haven't gotten laid in a while. Yeah but, from what i hear, she gets laid A LOT. Thanks everyone, i feel better for having vented my frustration. Cheers
sami Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 There is no hate for no reason. Try to find out the real reasons behind it and start working on them.
Author Shuffty Posted November 16, 2004 Author Posted November 16, 2004 I'm not saying she has no reason to hate people, if she's had a crap life i feel for her. But she has no reason to hate me, she's never even met me before and you can't blame me for feeling slightly victimised. I really do feel sorry for her, (since i've calmed down slightly) there must be something not right with her. But she wouldn't let me talk to her even if i tried, so how am i supposed to do that? Since then she has said to other people that she's sorry for it, but she hasn't actually said anything to me. Some people are acting like i want to kick her head in and i really don't, if she's ok with me, i'll be ok with her. I don't feel scared of her, because i know it musn't be me, and there's obviously something a lot deeper going on. She does have issues, but i feel like she really would go off at me, if i tried to go there.
bluechocolate Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 Or am i just supposed to be soft and put up with this crap all my life? Suggestions please?! The best way to deal with people like this is to kill them with kindness. Never rise to her - that only adds fuel to her fire. If you're both shouting & yelling at each other in a place of employment you may just find that both of you end up getting the sack. She said she would apologise if i did! What am i supposed to be sorry for? I would have said something like, "I'm sorry that you mistook my asking for a drink as a demand. Normally I think I am polite person but will make a better effort to do so in the future". Smiling & being polite with people like this, even if it's forced, is really much easier than getting worked up about it, especially in the work place. If she becomes extremely aggressive & impossible to work with then by all means, make your concerns known to management. But in my experience management would really like their staff to sort their petty squabbles out amongst themselves. She does have issues, but i feel like she really would go off at me, if i tried to go there. She probably would - just deal with her politely & professionally.
missopinionated Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 Ok. She doesn't hate you. She hates herself and you happened to be in the way of her bad mood. Secondly, you don't need to get down on her muddy playing field and fight. Do not say a word to her ever again and if she gets in your face, WALK AWAY. She is her own worst enemy and probably fights with herself a lot. She will, for sure, pick a fight with the wrong person and get her butt fired. Just don't be in the way of that bullet. Wanna read a book that is full of EXCELLENT advice? Read "How to Get Rich" by Donald Trump. He's not talking about money rich, he's talking about being rich in mind and body. Dare you.
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