djj Posted November 14, 2004 Posted November 14, 2004 Okay, some friends and I go to a local strip club often enough to be known by a lot of the firls and staff. We dont go weekly, more like every 4 - 6 weeks but again enough that staff know us. We all have our "regular" dancers if you will that will will often get a dance from. Often though the girls will just stop by our table to hang for awhile and chat with us, catch up and then go back to work. There is a regular dancer that I will spend time with often getting lap dances etc. We will often sit and chat for ages also. We have met outside of the club once at an event and I ended up driving her to work after the show (I knew she was working that night ahead of time). My friends called me that night and wanted to go to the club so we did. Once there I spent more time with her and had prob. the most intimate lap dances she has ever given me. We went last week and I saw her again, this time I think she had a little too much to drink but agian the dances were more intimate both in the conversations we had and actual dances themselves. Nothing "dirty" or overly sexual (lol.. I know it was a lap dance... lol). Anyway point being we email each other on and off to keep in touch and see how things are going in each others lives, we have been out once and now things seem to be getting a little closer. I (I can hear some of you laughing already!) have always admired and enjoyed my time with her regardless of the physical or sexual aspect to our encounters and am wondering where she is going with this. Are things progressing to a point where we could start dating or am I becoming a good friend or is this purely business and she is just ensuring that I remian the faithful client that I am! lol... confused... a little... lol if the club was open tonight I would prob. go to see her!
Merin Posted November 14, 2004 Posted November 14, 2004 Only way to be certian.. is to ask her. You know IMO if she was just trying to be nice to keep you her regular client.. she would keep all contact strictly limited to the club she works in... however from what you've said that hasn't been the case. So with that said... ask her out for a real date and see where it goes. Good Luck
zara Posted November 16, 2004 Posted November 16, 2004 We are genuine people too you know! And i would say that it does sound as though she genuinely likes you! I agree with Merin - why not ask?! Just clarify the situation and you will know for sure, buit i think all the signals look good. I can assure you that even my best customers if that's all i view them as then all contqact is through work and about work. But if she's letting you into her real life then chances are it's becasue she wants you to be a part of it.
Author djj Posted November 17, 2004 Author Posted November 17, 2004 Thanks for you input guys... errrr girls I should say. It's funny because I am fighting going back to the club in a hurry as I dont want to seem like I am anxious or something, or a strip club addict lol.... I suppose it's mixed signals or at least that's how I percieve them. The friendship that seems to be there is pretty genuine, at least I believe so..... something else I dont know. As for asking her? Hmmmm Perhaps Zara can shed some light on this, but I assume that she must have a million guys telling her how great she is every week and asking her out etc. because of this I almost think it's better to wait it out and let her make a move to something other then our current "club/client" relationship. On the other hand perhaps she values the friendship we are developing and doesn;t want to wreck that by making it something more or asking for fear that I am uninterested...... Boy oh boy.... now I am getting more confused. lol..... All I can say is that she has been on my mind since I left the club last week and not in a "sexual / Club based" kind of way. Does that make sense? Not to say that I dont often think about her anyway, but the last week it's been a constant thought... driving to work, at work, driving home, etc. etc. etc..... 9 times out of 10 she's in my mind. I sent her a quick email on Saturday so I will wait and see if/how she responds... usually takes her a few days to check email so I will be patient (as I check my email again.... and again....and... you get the picture.) Thanks for listening. ~djj
zara Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 Yes, she gets asked out on a regular basis by customers and she will be very used to this, but if you were to ask her (tip: don't ask her in the club, do it outside of the club in a normal social setting or in an email or something and don't make it a big deal, just ask her if she wants to go see a new movie or something...) then she would see it differently becasue there is that friendship there, whereas most of the customers who ask her out have spent what, a few hours talking to her work persona with no idea of what she is really like as a person. Good lick and remember - she's a normal girl!
alphamale Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 This is exactly how strippers sucker guys into giving up their hard earned money. No matter how nice or friendly she seems to you she only wants your money. Girls that strip for a living are generally NOT NICE WOMEN even though they may seem so. She may look at you as a friend but her number one priority is emptying your wallet. Trust me on this, my best friend used to manage a high class strip club here in Detroit. She most likely has 10 or 15 regular "friends" such as you. Also, if you were a stripper would you rather give lap dances to someone you know or someone you don't know, everything else being equal.
zara Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 NEWSFLASH: Girls that strip for a living are just regualr girls - some will turn out to be monumental b*tches some will be sweet, loving, faithful partners. Give your prejudice a vacation will ya? Whilst it is true that it is our job to be nice to people, believe me, that does not extend to allowing people to be involved in our lives outside of work if all we want are more dancing dollars. We are capable of having friendships and relationships you know! Oh, and to answer your question, most of us would rather give lapdances to people we don't know becasue there is something strange about dancing for people you know, a bit like kissing your own brother! Plus, it's a lot easier to just take your money and move on to the next. Anyway, DJJ - good luck and don't get disheartened, you sound like a nice guy who treats this girl with respect and if she's not interested in anything more than friendship i'm sure she'll respect you for being so chivalrous anyway!
alphamale Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by zara Oh, and to answer your question, most of us would rather give lapdances to people we don't know becasue there is something strange about dancing for people you know, a bit like kissing your own brother! I rest my case, just like you said she looks at him as a brother who just happens to have money in his wallet. His chances of having a romantic relationship with her are close to zero.
zara Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 I said no such thing. my point is that it is easier to dance for money off men you do not know, therefore since she is developing a relationship (be it platonic or otherwise) with DJJ then it is unlikely that she is only interested in how much money she can get out of him for dances. His chances of having a romantic relationship with her are as good as if she was the girl who worked on the checkout at his local grocery store. The fact that she is a dancer is neither here nor there.
alphamale Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by zara The fact that she is a dancer is neither here nor there. So then Zara you would not mind if your 19 year old daughter was stripping for money in front of strange men? Would you tell your friends about how proud you are that your flesh 'n blood is sticking her breasts into the faces of married/wierd/disgusting males? I highly doubt it.
zara Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 alphamale - i am a lapdancer and would have no problem witha daughter of mine doing the same. Like i said, take your prejudices and ... (i'll save the moderaters the trouble!)
alphamale Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 Well Zara, i personally think there is nothing wrong with someone stripping for a living. I think it is great and here in America it is an institution. I do see something wrong with giving DJJ bad advice and getting his hopes up for a romantic relationship with this woman. She looks at him as a client/friend and that is all it will ever be. YOU know it and I know it.
zara Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 Alphamale - you seem to think that being a stripper precludes a woman from being able to form a functioning relationship. I am not giving DJJ flase hope i am just not being entirely negative. I have to wonder if he altered the context of this post and said that this was a waitress he met in his local diner, would you be so pessimistic about his chances of a relationship? - To me, it is no different.
savethedrama4allama Posted November 17, 2004 Posted November 17, 2004 The likelihood of a stripper being interested in a man she dances for is no different than a car salesman, cashier, or waiter being interested in his or her customer, IMO. It doesn't happen often but it does. There is only one way to find out. Note: If she does like you and you begin to date, know that you met her as a stripper and you can not expect her to change! Most people wouldn't want their sig. other dancing for others but you must accept her for who she is. Consider it thoroughly before proceeding.
Author djj Posted November 20, 2004 Author Posted November 20, 2004 Everyone makes valid points here. Alphamale I have thought of all the things that you have said. Believe me she knows that I will return time and time again with a "fistfull of dollars" as it were regardless of me becoming a "friend" of some sort. I hardly think money is the motivation for her in involving me in her personal life. Believe me though when I go into the club I keep cognisent of the fact that it is her place of business and that is exactly what is going on in there. The girls as a rule are interested in one thing and that is the cash in my pocket. It's a fair exchange, they offer a ervice and the men pay for it. I have seen so many guys in the club thinking that the girls are really getting into them and want to be with them, I congratulate the girls in this case for doing there job so well. (By the way Zara I view none of this as a negative and hope you dont take offense). But I also realize that these girls are people too and know how to seperate work from their provate life so if I am being invited in then I am becoming a real friend to this girl or there may be interest for her to have me there. So I will wait and see. Remember Strippers/Dancers are people too! This is one of those time will tell stories I suppose. Whilst I would enjoy getting more involved with her, I also am remaining cognicent of the fact that I may just be another customer. I am listening to you all!!! But I am giving the benefit of the doubt on this one and seeing what happens! By the way Zara, next time I come back to England to visit family I will definately have to come and say hello! Thanks to Merin and Zara the Queens of LS and everyone else who has responded so far! ~djj
Author djj Posted November 20, 2004 Author Posted November 20, 2004 savethedrama..... You make a very valid point about having met her as a stripper and not expecting her to change etc. Believe me I have considered this and having known her as a dancer for so long and knowing her particular style of dancing with clients I am not to worried about this. THere are some girls at the club I would never date based on what they do during a lap dance but this particular dancer I would be fine with (remember I have been a regular of hers for a quite a while now). It was only recently that her dances have changed/become more intimate with me which was shortly after we become friendlier outside of the club. ~djj
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