Author hurts2death Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 thank you so much for the answer. yes thats the climate i feel too . odds are she needs a guilt ease and an ego boost with a validation. cause a) she is an a relationship b) she has new cycle c)she didnt care for sure months before the dumping. d) she was fro the start an ego woman, so as it goes for the answer i will IF i will throw a response which is short,doesnt await reply,and makes hers burn after 3 weeks minimum ignore. thanks i really appreciate your post man Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Stop playing games. 3 weeks? Come on. The correct and ONLY answer is: You do not reply, AT ALL. You are opening yourself up to revisiting past wounds by replying at all. What happens if when you reply back with "I am great" and then she waits another 3 weeks to say "Glad to hear it" or what if she replies right away? You clearly are NOT indifferent to her. Don't reply at all. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Stop playing games. 3 weeks? Come on. The correct and ONLY answer is: You do not reply, AT ALL. You are opening yourself up to revisiting past wounds by replying at all. What happens if when you reply back with "I am great" and then she waits another 3 weeks to say "Glad to hear it" or what if she replies right away? You clearly are NOT indifferent to her. Don't reply at all. Once again, hurts2death I do strongly agree with the above. My hope, based on my experience, is that you do nothing at all. That is what is really best for you. You should block her on text,phone and email that way you wont hear from her and have this happen again because you can't handle it. It is really slowing down your healing and you are wasting time thinking about her. I was indifferent when my ex contact me back and I was not hoping for the contact. That is where you have to be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 (edited) yeah and thanks but what really are the odds she wants back or sth? i dont but what id she does? is that 1% or 10%? also i just noticed i am saved at her contacts as <my john> my? wtf? Edited December 24, 2014 by hurts2death Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 guys help out. i just recieved an email from her after like 17 months since break up and me nc. she says "john hi. how are you? you might get surprised after all this time orthis mail might not even exist anymore i just wanted to see if you are ok." :confused::confused: how i react? she is with someone but she doesnt seem happy.like the grass aint greener anymore or sth,she has new friends and cycle.still lives in the nearby city. infact i got surprised by the mail. i will try to check and make sure with my self that any contact with her wont flame my emotions and then ofcourse after your ideas will procceed,,,,,, i am waiting for your inputs , i already feel like i am an attention wh0r3 this mail boosted my ego...:laugh: She is only reaching out for curiosity's sake. She's not reaching out because she cares that much. I wouldn't even respond. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 yeah and thanks but what really are the odds she wants back or sth? i dont but what id she does? is that 1% or 10%? also i just noticed i am saved at her contacts as <my john> my? wtf? "i dont but what id she does?" So what if she does? Why would you care? you need to really move on. "so its been some time,. yeah and i am healed and stable" No, you don't seem healed to me. If you were you wouldn't be back on here asking what to do. you would know exactly what to do. Here is the problem as I see it. You are still in or back in the denial stage. You say you don't want back, but yet listen to you. The odds right now are 0% that she wants to get back. You on the other hand want to believe there is some hope. Even 1%. I don't honestly see it. I am speaking from experience. Do what you need to do. I did, but I also got to the point where I accepted and went NC and moved on which is what you should be doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 for now i keep my self like a ghost. i will not respond .... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 The fact that you are asking "what if", absolutely means that you are not past her. Indifference is what happens if you were "healed". You are not indifferent. You better not respond. It'll do you NO good. Not now, not in 3 weeks, not ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 just some added info it came to my attention that she and her boyfriend areng getting too well . one day later i got the mail i suppose thats an extra reason to not answer Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted December 25, 2014 Share Posted December 25, 2014 Well duh, of course she's trying to get back into contact with you. Told you, best answer was NO ANSWER. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted January 4, 2015 Author Share Posted January 4, 2015 thank god i didnt answer. i was maybe too weak a week back when i got the mail. by not answering i shine my manners and my value and quality . it would be a desasterous mistake to answer this mail. dumpers indeed all they need is validation and ego boost. i was only contacted when she got a hard time with her new guy. i wont corrupt my path in life with dirt and dirty people. the path will be walked as it should mating with a woman that has manners and willing power. thank you all once more. if she contacts me on my names day 3 days from now i will come back with info but most likely i will ignore,the only possible way i would answer would be only if she clearly states that she regreted all and want second chance but again i doubt i would accept .the only thing i could give her is a mature dialogue at a coffee store. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 well what to say. my ex keeps trying to contact me. more calls and i keep ignoring. a little backround here. -i am healed(its now 18 months post nc and break up) -she spents time with other females who could be described as histrionic,narcissistic and i dont know but somehow weird ,they only enjoy going to bars and feeling nice looking or wanted. they give all of their lifes capacity to attraction games. for me this is imature and some how very disorderous.i mean many people are pretty but they dont focus on this.the hole group has a median life of 27 i suppose.they live in a really beta coutry side town,they get influenced by mass media trash feed. -she propably got separated from the guy she made up with 6 months after our break up. -i am sure she now made the comparison between me and him ,her gigs sydrome went away and she feels and looks like a 50 year old female in a body of a 25. i cant describe this. it was like all she tried to do with us was for the bad. - i stayed nc and keep going strong. till now her contact attempts are reaching the 250. -in the mean time i registered at a dating site with thousands of females not solely for relationship but for friendship too. it seems to be getting me true possibilities and it feels nice. -i admit i used her interest to boost my ego(lets hope i am not disorderous too) so any input would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 apparently my heart back then got ripped by a claster b chaotic personality. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 -i admit i used her interest to boost my ego(lets hope i am not disorderous too) I don't think this means you have a disorder, but it isn't healthy. Using her for an ego boost keeps her relevant to your life, which is not the goal. At least you are aware of what you are doing. Actually, a lot of people keep a foothold in an ex's life for an ego boost, and she is probably using you for the same. I'd say it's time to let this go for good and block her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hija77 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 You hit her? Even once is completely unacceptable. It's no wonder her mother doesn't like you. If her mom DID convince her to leave, that's probably why. Can you blame her? You sound like you need to get control over yourself. Communicating with your ex isn't going to help, because she's left you and you don't want to hear that. Go NC and stay that way. Don't answer her calls/texts/emails. You're just prolonging the inevitable, and making it harder for yourself. Let her go. Work on the issues you listed above. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 no hija i didnt hit her as a bad criminal., call it a biff only after she did unleash her jungle jealousy over me pushing me and pounching?. more like defence ... its not the point. her mother by the way was a cluster b chapter alone. haha she got married at 14 and many times heared her wanting for her daoughter to be single partying. no shock she also pushed her towards her next guy. too bad this guy though was a fake image.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 (edited) her current state describes her hell missing me. its not an ego boost for her. her gigs fuel tank run out and there is no alpha male anywhere close to her. and to add to that there is for sure no ethical possible matting male close to her. all she does is destructive for her alone. i have this feeling she might attempt to reach me physicaly in the comming months. BC it is like i have her blocked. i literaly dont exist for her. thanks to your advices back then i got going and hija i many times asked her if it was the biffing that triggered the break up and she was feeling guilty already while describing it is like she wants to meet more guys and live things. like saying. -everything is perfect about you its just me i want to have sex with strangers.- total crazyness, another reason hija it wasnt the biff is that this had happened in the first years of rl and never repeted again. and rl was lovely. Edited January 26, 2015 by hurts2death Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted February 2, 2015 Author Share Posted February 2, 2015 so it might be that i ignore her contact tryings but i guess my subconcious is on its own. i saw a dream last night, i was getting her to her job and had this feeling of being used and of bad energy. i hope my dream life will stay clean. healed in real life might be possible but how would anyone control the subconcious? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 bump bump its now 21 months post break up and nc. sunconcious is getting healed. i am now a t level where further improvement is like 1% so i considere me healed. lessons i learned? -never start a loving relationship without mature thinking.trauma later takes loong to heal -dumpers become low ego dumpers and then broken ego loosers after hardcore nc(like when you take trip to mars) -inocent feeling of love and passion recovers but never like before. (was my first love so this inosence is gone from me now,the curiosity of first time etc) -life gets more simple now i focus on my self ,my career,my wealth,my health,my physique. -i feel happy at times (feels really good to be again free to lough inside out) -a few women got interested in me but i didnt like them and didnt want to use them(i have ethics ) .... i hope you all stay strong h2d Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted January 1, 2016 Author Share Posted January 1, 2016 happy new year to all. and i really need your help. last night the ex sms me wishing happy new year. i didnt reply yet. and i am thinking over it. its been 3 years post break up with me going nc. i marely feel anything towards her .i was the dumpee but a hard nc dumpee i wonder why though she tries to communicate. what would serve her wishing me ? might it be guilt easing 3 years later? hard to believe right? might it be to be with me again? this is so weird might it just be a mass sms post which concluded my number? some other facts. -we were together for almost 3 years -she went cold and i went hard nc(the usual some time alone etc) -she started a hole new life later on new friends new hobbies etc -she might have gotten to ****ty situations with her new kinda life - i healed and evolved . on top of that there is no love towards her just curiosity should i answer? is this a dumper dumpee game 3 years after the break? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted January 2, 2016 Author Share Posted January 2, 2016 bump i really wanna know how to act :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted July 10, 2016 Author Share Posted July 10, 2016 since the break up(3 years) with "the love of my life" i had made a tremendous fortune in the stockmarket since then i only feel happy when i learn sth new or when i make more, i think the huge pain i felt back then might somehow triggered my survival mode. i was more conscious somehow... the years passed and i came across a mysterious woman. we arranged to meet......... the time arrived and i did the casual preperation. grooming etc. i felt there was sth higher that brought this woman to me.... she was 200% sexy but i do not fall for the looks , i fall for the spirit.. this woman was much older than me we had the same zodiac sign and our past similarities were way to many. there were some kind of connections between us... as the date was going forward i was feeling very happy and excited... we started kissing so deeply we just couldnt keep away... we enjoyed the night till morning hours... i drove her home and kissed goodbye.. there were though fundamental obstacles for this to work like a kid .... i am sure that if i had met her some years ago i would marry her. i waited a day and texted her an epilogue -had great time you are great etc.... i felt sad about her lonelyness...... in a big city with a kid and a hard economic state.before she left the car i gave her a jar of food of one of my industries. i was relieved by the idea that her kid would be eating this the next few days.where ever we went males were giving her looks, on the other side i was not like this , i wanted to pick inside her inner world. she had a histrionic vicious nature that was minimal after all these years// i also arranged a job for her. she will never learn i did this. but it was the first thing i did after the date.have you ever felt the need to really help someone? the thing that makes me feel weird is that the old heartbreak somehow awaken inside me... i am feeling the same lonely and dead inside... i am so curious why this happened i v met too many girls since then but this is weird.why i was not so into sex with her . she was the hottest a woman can be. i am feeling like there is no purpose in life in a higher state of emotional nirvana . i feel that our subconscious creates reality by the way our belief system is . the young boy once lived inside me is now dead... there is no innocence left. the world makes a man cruel and the time makes everything go and fade,, i am getting some hints here and there about sth higher existing in life but all of it is streaming from my own brain. i feel like there is only silence and pain.......... i know i am too negative now but i v read too many philosophy books and really digged deep inside me. we all live a beatiful lie . we imagine absolute diamonds but the truth is a fallen beautiful lie we cling so hard on it that we fake its existence.... i have even broken nc with ex. after igonoring her for 3 years i answered in her last text reassuring her i am still alive and well and not showing any interest towards her at all. it might sound weird but i really dont care if she read it or not. i feel like 0 about her. absolute 0. will keep meeting new people and evolving in all aspects.... if a higher purpose is somewhere i will seek it inside out and even if i never find it at least i will know i tried.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted July 11, 2016 Author Share Posted July 11, 2016 i just got an answer from this past ex . she said she just wanted to check how i was and thats why she was contacting me.... -it really means nth to me. -i felt i talked with the past knowing it is worthless but i did it. -i feel nth about it it is very weird feeling after all these years of passion and love the only thing i feel now is empy space there is nth to make me feel it. i guess i broke nc in order to make sure she is only a ghost now. i think i am cured from this pain..... ps. it is fearful how fast we live new things and how fast time passess and takes away things and people. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts