lizzardj Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I had posted a few years back about my dead beat boyfriend of 6 years who wouldn't get his life together. Here I am, single finally after continuing the relationship for 2 more years. We ended our relationship about 6 months ago. Around the same time, I started to get to know a regular customer at my job. I was absolutely infatuated with this customer. I knew I had to get to know him more. I'd day dream about him, think of him when I was with my boyfriend, wonder what it would be like to be with him... It got to the point where I had to end the relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years. I mean, it helped that my boyfriend still wasn't progressing in life and had cheated on me twice, but I could not live my life, knowing that there is someone on this planet who makes me feel more alive than he did. This customer started coming in 3 times a day. He'd linger around until I'd finish with other customers, just so he could talk to me. Eventually, during a huge rush at my work, he got close to me and said, "Hey...what's your name?" I said it, and asked him his. From then on, every single interaction was ended with a very sensitive toned, "Bye ***." I loved the way he said my name. Coworkers started to wonder why he'd never asked theirs even though he was a regular. Other customers, would see the interactions and make comments like, "WHO IS THAT?" and "Is something going on between you and him?" Over 2 months I started to learn more about him. I learned he was an artist, so I asked him to paint me a picture for my new apartment. He was so nervous. His hand was shaking as we exchanged numbers. He said, "Do you have a phone. I mean of course you have a phone. Do you have a phone number...I mean....Of course you do...what's your number?" He was so nervous and I was ENTHRALLED and knew this would be the start of something. A day later he texted me about some painting ideas and ended each text with a ":)". Weeks went by and he told me the painting was ready. I told him I'd be in the town he lived that day and maybe we could meet up so I could get it. No response. I didn't see him for 2 months after that. It broke my heart and left me so confused. Maybe I came off too strong asking him to meet up with me? I felt like him seeing me out of my work uniform and us meeting up for the first time alone would spark something. It was my chance to make a move. And it didn't happen. This experience inspired me to read the book, "He's Just Not That Into You." And every day I grew stronger. I was over him. And as soon as I regained my strength and confidence, that's when he texted me apologizing for his absence. It turns out he was working at a new location. That didn't explain the lack of communication, but I had such strong feelings for him that I was at square one again. Completely infatuated with him, once more. He started coming into my work again daily and at first I gave him the cold shoulder. Eventually we started talking again when he'd come in. A few times, minutes after our in person interaction, he'd text me just to ask how things were going with me. When I'd ask him how he was doing, his responses would be, "I've just been too busy to function." I never once asked about my painting. One thing I learned from the book is a man is never too busy to get what he wants. In the back of my mind I always think he's not into me. But then again, why would he keep coming back? Sometimes I blame myself for the slowness of this potential relationship. I don't give him any reason to be into me. When I text him, I play it super cool, when he's face to face with me, I am SO nervous I feel like puking. I never say how I feel, I never have the courage. I don't flirt. I probably make him feel just as confused as he makes me feel. I find myself crying every day because I KNOW there is something there. The emotions I feel for him are INSANE. There is this undeniable physical and mental chemistry with us and he knows it just as much as I do. I feel like if love at first sight existed, he would be my love at first sight. I've never felt this chemistry and magnet-like attraction with anyone in my life. Not even my ex boyfriend of 8 years. I am afraid that if I don't act on this, I will regret my whole life not knowing if this was something real. I don't think these feelings come very often in life. I've gone on several dates in the past 6 months and not one time have I ever felt anything with anyone. I need to know. And I have no idea how to go about it. Can someone give me some advice? By the way, what triggered this post was yesterday on my day off, he came in and said, "If you see ***, can you tell her I finished her painting?" 5 months after we initially discussed it. I am SO confused. Help!
heartshaped Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I don't think this guy is that into you. But just for your peace of mind I think you should ask him out on a date. You know, women can do that. I think having a solid answer about this guy would clear things up for you. In the future, stop tolerating less than what you deserve. 2
Author lizzardj Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 See, I am the strongest woman I know, and this man just makes me weak. I don't deserve this, and I know it. He just makes me turn into an illogical idiot. But I know in the back of my mind no man would do this to a girl he didn't want. Just sick of people giving me hope. And sick of dating and never feeling that true spark. Thanks for confirming what I always try to deny.
CrystalCastles Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I agree with the first poster. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he found someone else. Maybe maybe maybe, I can sit here all day guessing but it won't matter. This guy doesn't sound like bf material. Bf material doesn't randomly evaporate into thin air without a word. 1
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