His Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 It's been almost 4 days and I'm still very sick from stress and sadness. I can't eat, sleep or concentrate. I feel like I'm going out of my head. I'm so nauseated. I just miss him... I feel like I'm being physically and mentally tortured.
hellischrome Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 It's been 4 days! Not even enough time to realise that! Give yourself time!
portableversion Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 just 4 days out, ok its gonna get worse before it gets better if you are like me. As the days stretch into weeks, and then months the fact they seem to be cool and happy to have you gone is gonna further eat at you. Ive been over a year out and i had a nightmare or 2 just recently. And then aswell I had a burst of tears again just the other day. It has gotten better at least im not crying every single day, multiple times a day. But yeah id have dreams I was back home with her and the boys, and then id wake up and see it was just a dream and I am here alone in my tiny apartment. Anger would fill me; disgusted she would not want to talk, but then oh she did want to talk and many times it was just lies stringing me along. So watch out for ur ex lying to u saying things like oh I miss you and think about us getting back together. My ex did this to me many times, told me she was waiting to see my progress in change and her bf ws nothing serious just a distraction to bide her time while I went to therapy and aa and church. It was all lies, and more lies, she was searching for a new man for a long time it was just a matter of finding him and when she did I was out. PLain and simple. Just the other day I was staring at my walls thinking im here in this tiny place all alone, I almost could not believe it and it was difficult to be positive. I feel murdered. Ive been trying to make friends but it has not been easy, or its something so new and different the only people who can hang out with me are much younger than me im 38 and the oldest is like 24. On many levels they just don't understand. Folks my age got busy and found someone new to be in a relationship with as one fella said im never single for very long. Same with my ex she is remarried less than a year after our divorce, to her distraction who is just a friend. we were together for 17 years. I think I have ptsd, it makes me sick. the more church the better, there is not enough drink or drug to kill this pain I have no choice but to resort to god. And too its free. After being a stay at home dad for 4 years and moving all over the country so she could pursue her career, which her folks paid for, im left with a very ****ty resume. A long list of dead end jobs , well some were good but her career took priority and we moved and I started all over again in completely different lines of work. My boss is in trouble and cannot pay me my phone is shut off and my car insurance is expired and I dont care. Perhaps it's my new found relationship with god or im just a battered person that just don't care anymore. I have the feeling if someone told me tomorrow I had terminal illness id just say oh well im not surprised, nothing else works out. Meh its just death, seems not as bad as betrayal and divorce. Actually I might welcome terminal illness, and be glad for it. What do I want and what do I need..... I don't even bother to consider it, ive gone so long with neither of those things being met ill just assume I don't have needs or wants. Well sometimes I got to take a dump or im thirsty or im hungry it seems I can take care and manage that, anything else better not get cocky about it or think about it. Sorry to hear of your loss, it sucks and delivers a unique pain. will we ever find someone to love us again, or will there be nobody, perhaps we will think so but they will just cheat lie, abuse, and manipulate and then discard. Be careful out there and good luck, and if I were you id get to church and try to find one that has service everyday. If I can ill goto mass everyday and I joined the choir that's all I care about now, everything else has fallen apart and has been taken away from me it just me and god now, cant trust or rely on anything else. I was so willing to change for her and make sacrifices and other compromises but now she married again , im not even gonna bother to think about it, I am who I am , if by chance I meet someone new they gonna have to love me for who I am, never again nor for anyone else will I offer to sacrifice so much, and give up on things I find beautiful and endearing, shes the last and only one. I talked to the priest im looking into having the priest kill this thing above and beyond what the government can do with the stupid divorce, we got married in a church made vows before god, they say we still married and she just living in adultery. her marriage is a crime and a big one. I would say its not my problem but it is.
lop98 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 30 days... 40. It takes a while but it just starts to slowly go away when you don't notice. What helped me a lot was tons of cardio... and I was still not hungry as I would normally be but it did help me to get back in a healthier state of mind.
portableversion Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 30 days... 40. It takes a while but it just starts to slowly go away when you don't notice. What helped me a lot was tons of cardio... and I was still not hungry as I would normally be but it did help me to get back in a healthier state of mind. yeah cardio definitely a good call, that is one thing I feel lucky about is my job, it is physically back breaking stuff, I could not imagine how bad off id be if I didn't have it. I have to believe god put me here to get ready. I was guided to my safe haven. The more physically active you can be the better, you may not be able to get enough at 1st
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